Woman's BF of Three Years Refuses To Meet Her Parents, Wonders If He's Gaslighting Her
A natural next step in a relationship is involving blood family. Even if they can be a source of stress, it really has stuck itself in our society as a rite of passage. So what do you do when it's looking like your boyfriend of 3 years doesn't want to take that step?
u/spammymonkey laid out the situation for us:
My (26F) boyfriend (28M) refuses to meet my parents. We have been dating for three years.
So I've been dating this guy for three years and you'd think we would already make the step to meeting each other's families. I will also add that we have been living long distance for about two years but I see him for extended periods of time about six times a year.
I haven't met his family yet. He hasn't met mine. Everytime I bring up the topic he gets defensive and refuses to do so. He's normally a pretty private person.
His reasoning is that he likes to spend time with me as an escape from all the other people he has to talk to in his job. And meeting my parents is disturbing the status quo. Is this normal? I'm thinking of ending it but I'm having a really hard time. I would like to be mature about the whole situation, and have tried to talk to him but he doesn't want to.
TL;DR boyfriend of three years doesn't want to meet my parents and he refuses to talk about it.
Here was some of the advice she got.
One
There are 2 scenarios here:
- His family is abusive or something along those lines and isn't really big on the whole meeting the family ordeal
- He's keeping you secret and doesn't want people to know about you (not saying he's cheating or something but I have seen those instances)
Either way he needs to give you a proper reason. Relationships are about compromise. He should be willing to meet your family for you but you don't have to see his family if he doesn't want.
So communicate with him basically.
Two
Hmm. This is tough not knowing more about the situation. My gut reaction is something is up. I have a friend where this happened- his girlfriend just never brought him around her family and they were together for years. She had a medical emergency and when he called her parents to tell her, they had no idea who he was. Turns out she had another boyfriend and that's why she never told her parents about him.
I think his reason is bs- this is life and you gotta talk to people. "Disturbing the status quo" is some crap too. There is something fishy going on here, and I would tell him that he needs to explain himself or you're done.
Three
he likes to spend time with me as an escape from all the other people he has to talk to
That's not what a relationship is meant to be. A relationship isn't an escape from real life, it is a part of your life. A partner is someone that joins you for family events, for social events, maybe even work functions. Your boyfriend doesn't see you like this. Maybe he has another girlfriend, maybe he doesn't, but either way, he sees you as something separate to his life. And that's not fair. You are more than just a hobby to provide him with stress relief. You are someone who wants to comingle your lives together, which is 100% normal after 3 years!
Time to be done with this relationship. It's not going anywhere.
Four
So everyone's jumping to the idea that you're his side piece or at best someone he sees as a casual fling which, yeah, does sound very possible.
But even if that's not true, this is a really reasonable dealbreaker! I couldn't deal with it, and I'd absolutely dump him if I were you. My boyfriend is a bit resistant about family stuff (his family history is...complicated), and even that gets tiring for me to deal with sometimes, although I understand and respect where he's coming from and he does come with me when it's important.
I hope he'll eventually become more open to joining me for family stuff, but I'm 100% okay if he doesn't because he's still there for the big stuff. I could never build a life with someone who refused to even meet my family, and after 3 years that's what you're doing. So who even cares if he has a secret wife or whatever? If your parents are important to you, and he refuses to even discuss meeting him, cut him loose.
Five
Umm. I would recommend reading your post and your answers as another person and think about what advice you would give your friend if she came to you with this issue.
It seems that he doesn't see a future with you, which is why he refuses to answer your question about the future. If he says no future since you are only a temporary thing for him, then you will break up with him, but if he gives no answer and strings you along, then he can get laid in the meantime and then dump you when he is ready to find the person he wants to settle down with.
Thats why he hasn't introduced you to family. No point in going through all that for someone that will be a free agent soon.
Six
It's fine if he sees you as an escape and doesn't want to disturb the status quo, but unless that's the way you want your relationship to remain then I think it's time to bail. He's basically telling you that he likes to date you but doesn't ever see the need to go further or do more... which is fine for some people and doesn't make him a bad person, but it may mean you're incompatible if you want more than that. And if you do want more than that, then go find that because you're not going to get it from him.
Seven
I suspect he's hiding you for some reason, or he has a poor relationship with his family and isn't really big on the whole family thing in general. No matter the reason, if you want a partner who is family-oriented then this might not be the guy for you. After three years in a relationship, things are usually getting pretty long term serious and not communicating his thoughts about this to you is quite frankly unacceptable. Imagine potentially attending family holiday gatherings on your own forever while he does his own thing.
I dated someone about five years who was the ladder. He met my parents maybe 2-3 times, and would make excuses for why he needed to go home early and to not attend family events with me. He also avoided spending time with his own family on holidays. It just wasn't important to him, even though it was extremely important to me.
Eight
I am very sympathetic to someone not wanting you to meet their parents, as long as they explain why. People have different relationships with their parents. My partner only met my parents a week before we moved in together.
However, if you want them to meet your parents, and you express that it is important to you, it is really not normal or ok for your partner to refuse (barring extremely unusual circumstances).
Nine
For all you wrote, I still don't have any sense of who he is. He works, included you in work functions, and you see each other now and then. What kind of person is he, what does he hope for, what are his friends like, do you imagine future things together?
He sees you as an escape: What, like a relief valve for his real life, instead of someone he wants to bring into that life? Can you find out what he's "escaping" from? Family expectations, his main girlfriend, or having to grow up?
He is very private, doesn't share much: Maybe his family's intrusive, maybe he doesn't have a lot of thoughts to share, maybe he doesn't want deeper connections?
Not wanting you to meet his family: Could be they don't have a good relationship. Or they'll assume it means he's serious about you, but he isn't and wants to put off telling you.
It might ease his mind to tell him that meeting them is off the agenda for now. What's more important is if he'll tolerate talking about your future, what his family's like, etc. Normal things.
Ten
Yes, it's weird as hell and a red flag for a number of reasons. It's not normal to want to keep everyone in their own place separate from anyone else in your life. This speaks to, at best, emotional or psychological issues that he should be addressing in therapy. At worst it means he's doing things that he feels he needs to hide from a variety of people, so he keeps everyone compartmented away so no one will compare notes or trip up his careful narratives.
And even if it's not anything sinister like another woman or the fact he has something big to hide from you and lots of people, even if it's that he doesn't see you as anything but Ms. Right Now instead of Ms. Right until she comes along, the fact is you cannot have a full relationship with someone who sees you only as an "escape." You should not be placed in the same category as a bottle of booze or an entertainment center or a fun night out to get away from things, which is kind of what his description and insistence of your role has placed you.
It's also really kind of controlling in a very disturbing way. I mean, if he didn't want you to meet his parents due to some trauma I can understand that. But you still have a partner who at three years feels comfortable enough to tell you at least, "hey, my parents are abusive POS that I want nothing to do with, so we are not meeting them. Ever." BUT he also does not want to meet your parents and by the sounds of it also avoids meeting anyone else in your life and vice versa.
There is something wrong here. You're the secret he feels he doesn't have to share and he never will by the sounds of it. It's time to go unless you enjoy the relationship equivalent of being hidden in the attic.
Eleven
Sooooo how is your relationship supposed to move forward? Have you talked about the future? Marriage? And it's been 3 whole years? "He doesn't want to talk cuz he talks at work"....so he's just not gonna talk about anything at all???
He's not communicating. And totally pushing it off. Sounds like he likes the box he put you in in his life. If this is a relationship you want, go for it. But if you want to be more involved with your partner's life/family, this may not be the right partner.
Twelve
I once dated someone who was extremely private about his family. His parents didn't know about me, and he only talked to his dad. He bashed his family to me and said he would never go back to visit with them.
I found his dad's Facebook page after the fact. There was a photo of my former significant other with a girl he'd brought to meet his family recent to that time.
Thirteen
Late to the party here but to second a lot of other commenters, this does ring some alarm bells for me. As many here point out, he may have justifiable reasons for not introducing you to his family, however what really strikes me is that he has not met your family (I get the impression this is something you have tried to facilitate). Regardless of his issues with his own family, he should have made the effort to meet your family at your request before now, and this shows a lack of consideration that concerns me.
Fourteen
He could be extremely shy and anxious/insecure?? No doubt I think a 28 year old in a 3 year committed relationship should have enough courage to have met them at least a few times, but it is a pressure situation for some if he feels like he needs to impress them especially because procrastinating this long could add more tension. Just trying to provide a logical counter argument here because I see a lot of people getting carried away I think with out a strong feel/ base of knowledge regarding this relationship that has gone on for over 1000 days. I too am greatly removed from the situation, but felt the need to say something because I have been mistaken as toxic in my relationship before when really I was unable to show vulnerability due to my insecurities.
Fifteen
Whether or not anything "fishy" is going on, if he's refusing to meet your family after three years, he's just not that into you. By that, I mean, he's not looking for anything more serious with you and if you want something serious you should look elsewhere.
Wealthy People Reveal When They Knew They Were Spoiled As Kids
[rebelmouse-image 18355313 is_animated_gif=You truly do grow up in a different world. Other options are available to you immediately, and you very rarely don't get what you want. So then how do you know you're rich?
Let's ask Reddit. lilsunflowers wanted to know:
Here are some of the luxurious answers.
Poor Unfortunate Souls
[rebelmouse-image 18361894 is_animated_gif=Not so much the same, but didn't realize until way later in life that the reason our neighbors kids had dinner with us every night was because their parents couldn't afford to feed a family of 5 and keep the power on. My dad did their taxes and it was his way of helping them without ruining their pride. We also had the parents over for BBQ almost every weekend and sent them home with all the leftovers. Didnt find out until I took a college class with one of the kids years later.
A Full Childhood
[rebelmouse-image 18361895 is_animated_gif=Extracurriculars.
My parents put me through so many classes, I just thought it was a normal thing that everyone did (although not necessarily as many as I did).
When I moved out and discovered that I had to budget to be able to afford to replace my violin strings and bow hairs, it hit me that my parents must have been spending an actual fortune on me. On top of the actual classes (of which there were many) and getting there, they were buying equipment (my instruments and music books), maintaining/upgrading/replacing as necessary, paying for me to take music exams, paying for me to travel with my youth music group, I think a year of my extracurriculars in high school must have cost at least as much as a year of an undergrad degree in Canada.
I owe my parents so much money if I ever get rich.
Different Strokes
[rebelmouse-image 18361896 is_animated_gif=Some kids make more money than their parents, even when they don't make a lot of money.
My coworker and I make the same salary. She took her parents out to eat for her birthday because to them she makes a lot of money. My parents take me out to eat for my birthday because to them I don't make a lot of money.
Suburban Staples
[rebelmouse-image 18361897 is_animated_gif=When I was 13 I brought over a friend who was really, really impressed by my parent's automatic garage door opener. That was a huge shift in perspective for me
Find Your Silver
[rebelmouse-image 18361898 is_animated_gif=Early on in our relationship, my empathetic, socially aware, and compassionate wife said off-hand "Well, but you must have had SOME silver growing up, right? I mean, everyone has SOME silver."
Renting
[rebelmouse-image 18361899 is_animated_gif=Pretty middle class, but lived in an expansive suburb with almost zero apartment complexes. Always just assumed everyone had a house and didn't really understand the concept of renting a house or an apartment until I was 13-14 when I heard them talking about it on friends or something.
Spare A Dime?
[rebelmouse-image 18351162 is_animated_gif=This is going to sound silly but, money. Like spare cash. I didn't realize until i went to college that everyone doesn't have extra spending money to spend on silly things like movies or a non cafeteria lunch.
Toy Budget
[rebelmouse-image 18361900 is_animated_gif=My family was never overly wealthy, but my parents provided an abundance of toys for me and my sister. I had a huge imagination, and I played with every single one of them. But I would be flabbergasted when I went to my friends' houses to see that they didn't have as many toys, or any toys at all. I used to think that some kids just didn't like toys.
Costs Of Living
[rebelmouse-image 18355312 is_animated_gif=I teach teens whose father makes millions a year. They were very upset that a doctor only makes $200k a year and they weren't sure that was enough to live comfortably on. We did the math one day and realized he makes more in a day than a minimum wage earner does in a year.
To be fair, it's pretty hard to understand how money works when everything is done for you. Most of the kids I've taught have no concept of income and cost of living. Parents! Teach your kids how to pay for things and what life costs!
Airport Limo
[rebelmouse-image 18361901 is_animated_gif=I thought it was standard to take a limo to the airport or funerals. I actually thought my friend was lying when she told me she had never been in one.
One Flight
[rebelmouse-image 18361902 is_animated_gif=When I was like 10 or so, the airline screwed up our tickets flying home from England. My dad was pissed, but he went and bought 4 tickets for us home on the Concorde. I had an idea we were well off, but didn't realize until I was older that our flight home cost almost $50k.
Extra Homes
[rebelmouse-image 18361903 is_animated_gif=I thought everyone had a vacation home somewhere, and had a maid who cleaned the house. I came home from college my first year and looked around my neighborhood and saw it through different eyes. Suddenly I realized how big the houses were, and how most had three car garages. That just felt normal to me until I went to school with people who didn't have those things.
Perspective
[rebelmouse-image 18361904 is_animated_gif=Can I answer for someone else?
A past partner grew up much more privileged than I did. His house was one-level and he warned me that his family was poor before we went in and my response was, "Oh, it's okay, I grew up in a trailer." I walked into this beautiful, completely renovated house with all new furniture and one of those fridges that was touch screen. He thought he was poor because he was technically low-income for the neighborhood he lived in. The whole thing looked like a Rooms-To-Go magazine. It even had skylights.
He also apologized for his family's cars. They were older but they were both Volvos and they still were pristine. I grew up with a 2001 Monte Carlo that didn't have AC and smelled like cigarettes.
The main thing that bugged me was he kind of chastised me for not being in sports or activities when I was younger. I so wanted to play soccer like he did when I was a kid but my family couldn't afford the uniforms.
Also, music lessons like he had, I really wanted a piano and a violin as a kid but, again, my parents couldn't afford a piano like his family's beautiful Yamaha. Nor could they afford the lessons for violin or piano.
His mom ended up making me feel bad for my "diseased" thrift store clothes and eventually it got to him too and one of the many reasons he broke up with me was because his parents had convinced him that me having grown up poor, I was going to be a leech on his future finances. It made me really insecure about my social status that rich people would look down their noses at me because I had no choice in how I grew up.
Live-In Maid
[rebelmouse-image 18361905 is_animated_gif=House servants. Seriously, they do all your chores and EVERYTHING around the house.
A friend of mine had a maid who lived with them as a fulltime job and had a room in their poolhouse.
Eating In
[rebelmouse-image 18349469 is_animated_gif=It was only until later in life that I realized going out to restaurants, daily, isn't typical.
I just figured that is how people normally ate. I thought home cooked meals were the special ones.
Jet-Set
[rebelmouse-image 18361906 is_animated_gif=A private jet. We would always charter a private jet when flying for vacations or to visit relatives in other states. I would see all of the other jets at the airport, but just assumed that they were just much bigger private jets. I would actually be pretty jealous as I would imagine my family flying in such a large plane and having all that room. Turns out those were commercial flights with very little room at all. I was 15 when I finally realized this.
Never Feeling Discomfort
[rebelmouse-image 18354713 is_animated_gif=At college I asked my pre-med roommate if it was safe to go to sleep hungry.
Safety
[rebelmouse-image 18361907 is_animated_gif=Growing up, my family was considered by the government to be below the poverty line - my siblings and I qualified for free school lunches. But, we lived in a safe part of town. We would often put a fan in the window to bring in cool air on Summer nights. One evening, I was giving a ride to some teenagers from church to another youth leader's house who lived in a similar neighborhood to mine. One of the youth commented, "This is one of those neighborhoods where people don't lock their windows at night." I was in my early 20s at the time. I was ashamed that I'd never realized leaving my window open to enjoy a cool Summer breeze at night was something people a couple miles away from me couldn't do.
Cruises Ain't For The Weak
[rebelmouse-image 18361909 is_animated_gif=For years and years when I was a kid I would look down on people who hadn't traveled well, particularly people who did the same Disney cruises every year. In my mind I was thinking, "Expand your horizons! Go to Europe or China or Peru like my family does!" \
Financing The Stone
[rebelmouse-image 18980259 is_animated_gif=I had a roommate once. His father was a multi millionaire. Anyway so I was sitting at the table paying my bills. He asked what I was doing and upon mentioning I was making a car payment his mind was blown away. The idea of financing a car was very foreign to him. he asked so many questions and he could just not understand why anyone would do that. When we got to the topic of car insurance that was another thing he could not get.
He always paid cash for vehicles and he was self insured, everyone in his family and all his friends did this.
I felt oh so very small.
People Share The Best Answers To The 'What Is Your Biggest Weakness?' Interview Question
You know it's coming.
[rebelmouse-image 18356687 is_animated_gif=Literally, it's the most uncomfortable question of the entire job interview process, which is really something, because asking millennials "Where do you see yourself in five years?" is like asking a starving person "Where's your lunch?" Somehow, this question surpasses it. "What is your biggest weakness?"
Well, PlatypusFez wanted to be armed with a better answer before they got trapped:
When an employer asks 'What is your biggest weakness', what are some good responses?
Read and learn.
Honesty Is The Best Policy
[rebelmouse-image 18346089 is_animated_gif="What is your biggest strength?"
I can make decisions quickly in high-pressure situations.
"What is your biggest weakness?"
I make awful decisions.
Roundabout
[rebelmouse-image 18356688 is_animated_gif=Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
Ball's In Your Court
[rebelmouse-image 18356689 is_animated_gif="I tend to react violently to bad news."
"Um..."
"So, am I hired or not?"
Do You Struggle With This, Too?
[rebelmouse-image 18356690 is_animated_gif=I recently went with "I sometimes take on too much work myself rather than delegating to other people". I then follow it up with how I've worked on it and had to get a lot better at it in my last job.
Other Weaknesses
[rebelmouse-image 18356691 is_animated_gif=At my last job when I was asked this I said "I can't fold a fitted bed sheet."
Everyone kind of tittered and I said "It's true, every week I pull that sheet out of the dryer and think, "this is the week" and then I fail. But I keep trying every week".
I got the job.
And yes, I've watched videos, I've had people show me in person-I still can't get it right.
It Isn't So Hard
[rebelmouse-image 18356692 is_animated_gif=My wife always says 'parallel parking'.
Don't Set Us Up To Fail
[rebelmouse-image 18348908 is_animated_gif=My stock answer to this has always been :-
"I can get bored easy and become unmotivated unless I'm fairly busy."
It's never let me down yet, although I'm more the interviewer than the interviewee these days and would never ask this question in an interview.
TBH now I'm thinking about it, if they ask you this then your interviewer is probably not very good.
Extreme
[rebelmouse-image 18356693 is_animated_gif=I once said:
"Look, I know I'm meant to take a positive and spin it as a negative, but I feel that's dishonest. So my weakness is that I don't like playing mindgames with my interviewer."
Yeah don't do that. The feedback I got was that I'm extremely arrogant, and I didn't get the job.
SAT Words
[rebelmouse-image 18356694 is_animated_gif=It can be anything, as long as it's realistic and as long as you follow up with ways you've worked on fixing it or improving. For example, I always say that I have a hard time with time management and prioritizing different tasks, but then I follow up immediately with how I've worked on ranking different projects based on certain criteria (deadline, expected time to finish, etc.) and sorting them that way. Compartmentalizing and sh*t. Compartmentalizing is a great word. Throw that in there.
Heyyy Wait A Sec
[rebelmouse-image 18356695 is_animated_gif="I lie to avoid hurting people's feelings."
Then you compliment the interviewer's shirt.
No Patience
[rebelmouse-image 18356696 is_animated_gif="I have absolutely no patience for office politics, conspiracies, bullying, micro management, or corporate cheerleading. I want to work somewhere friendly and open and fair, where I can treat colleagues as equals and be pretty much left to do my job - in return, I can do it extremely well." Said this at the interview for my current job, been here a year and a half and everything is good. I've worked some places where everyone was horrible to each other, and it just isn't worth the cost to your soul.
Obligatory
[rebelmouse-image 18356697 is_animated_gif=Pick anything relatively innocuous (stay away from "motherf-cker looks at me wrong, I waste 'em") but still plausible. Any normal, reasonable human character flaw. "I can be impatient with people who don't grasp or follow things as quickly as I do." "I overanalyze tasks before I begin them, which leads me to procrastinate actually starting the work." "I do a lot of processing and reflecting internally before I speak, which can lead people to believe I'm not contributing to a conversation."
Then - this is the key - tack on a piece about how you've learned to manage or compensate for it. "I usually remind myself that I was new at a task once myself, and what may seem second nature to me is less apparent to others. In fact, I take note of the questions the other person asks and develop an FAQ or teaching tool." "I've found it helps if I pick a basic first step and get started, and create deadlines down the line for making major decisions about the task. This helps me keep some flexibility while still making progress." "I usually make a point of saying 'these are just my preliminary thoughts, but...' and then sharing a little bit about my reaction."
The purpose of this question isn't to force you to convey the impression that you're flawless. No one is. It's to check and see if you're self-aware about what your limitations are and to see whether you're actively trying to improve.
(Source: Am HR.)
Not Subtle
[rebelmouse-image 18356698 is_animated_gif="Those eyes"
leans in for kiss
Super Effective
[rebelmouse-image 18356699 is_animated_gif="I'm weak against grass-types"
Once Again, The Honesty
[rebelmouse-image 18356700 is_animated_gif="My biggest weakness is that sometimes in interviews, I have absolutely no idea how to answer some of the questions"
I always get the job
Call Center
[rebelmouse-image 18356701 is_animated_gif=As someone who interviewed literally 10's of thousands of people over the years for entry level jobs with a required set of questions (that included this weakness one), this answer would be enough for me to hire the person (provided everything else was at least okay).
To me, it shows that they understand that interviews are more about getting to know the person and that shows a certain level of intelligence. With that knowledge I can reasonably say that I could teach them the basics of any job I'd need them to do. And who knows, they might have a good time with a humorous attitude.
I'm wondering how well it would go for a job in a more professional setting. I figure just fine, but I could see situations where it wouldn't be as funny.
Showcase It
[rebelmouse-image 18356702 is_animated_gif=Pull a card out of your pocket that has "I over prepare" written on it.
Unexpected
[rebelmouse-image 18356704 is_animated_gif="I'm lazy. Which means I will find the quickest and best solution to complete a task so I don't have to do it twice."
This person actually got hired.
Twinning...With Myself.
[rebelmouse-image 18356705 is_animated_gif=I got this question right after "What is your greatest strength?". My greatest strength is my tenacity. When faced with a problem, I'm going to solve it, no matter how long it takes. My biggest weakness? My tenacity. Sometimes I forget/ refuse to ask for/ realize I need help. They offered me the job three hours later.
Meatbags
[rebelmouse-image 18356706 is_animated_gif=My entire underbelly is exposed to predators. I have a poor diet and no combat training. You could easily hit my viral organs and I'd perish immediately.
Cautious People Admit The Things That Make Them Immediately Lose Trust
Cautious People Admit The Things That Make Them Immediately Lose Trust
[rebelmouse-image 18346893 is_animated_gif=Trust issues define a generation.
Millenials have incredible trust issues. Study after study has shown that our generation trusts nothing that is thrown at them. Part of the reasoning for that may be because we so easily pick up cues from other people. So Redditor pmmecoolpianopics, looking more into our trust issues, asked the internet:
Here are some of the most trustworthy answers.
Spousal Denial
[rebelmouse-image 18346894 is_animated_gif=Badmouth their spouses. Anybody who has so little respect for their own life partners makes me wonder if can they respect anybody or anything.
The Scorpio Queen
[rebelmouse-image 18346895 is_animated_gif=Use their astrology sign as an excuse for s***** behavior or poor personality traits. "I'm just a Scorpio. Don't argue with me when I think I'm right." No, Jenny, you're just a b-tch. Work on it.
Beggars Being Choosers
[rebelmouse-image 18346896 is_animated_gif=People that don't pay back money they owe you. Hey sometimes they forget a few $ and that's understandable but if it happens more than twice regardless of the amount, I suddenly "have no cash on me". Ever.
Cell Phones A Plenty
[rebelmouse-image 18346897 is_animated_gif=Have more than 2 phones on them. 0 phones is ok, not everyone needs a cellphone. 1 is regular, a lot of people have a phone. 2 ok so you got a personal phone and a work phone. No problem. 3, they are up to something. Wether it be drugs or cheating.
Awesome
[rebelmouse-image 18346898 is_animated_gif=Talk way too much about how awesome they are
Use Your Pronouns
[rebelmouse-image 18346899 is_animated_gif=I don't trust people who insist on using my name in every sentence, I get the feeling they want to manipulate me or sell me something. It's the kind of shit I bet they learn in Salesman 101 to get suckers to trust them
Showing Off
[rebelmouse-image 18346900 is_animated_gif=those people who only bother you to get information out of you, or only pop up in your life when it is convenient for them. also, drug addicts who are too far gone because they are extremely manipulative and will say anything to get you on their side but all they want to do is drag you down with them because drugs matter the most to them.
Flakes
[rebelmouse-image 18346901 is_animated_gif=People who never commit to plans, but make sure they're holding that door open still. They're almost always opportunists who are just waiting for something better to come along. But just in case my plans are better they don't want to say no. They're almost always going to stand you up, or cancel last minute at some point.
So It's YOUR Fault!
[rebelmouse-image 18346902 is_animated_gif=ALWAYS have a reason why something wasn't their fault.
Bad Cop
[rebelmouse-image 18346903 is_animated_gif=get defensive when questioned.
Absolutely
[rebelmouse-image 18346904 is_animated_gif=I don't trust people who see the world in absolutes.
Framed
[rebelmouse-image 18346905 is_animated_gif=People with razor wire thin chin strap facial hair. Just why?
Carmen San Diego
[rebelmouse-image 18346906 is_animated_gif=Wear a long trenchcoat with the collar up & big sunglasses.
As God Is My Witness
[rebelmouse-image 18346907 is_animated_gif=people who take great pains to tell you how honest they are
Global Responsibility
[rebelmouse-image 18346908 is_animated_gif=Make a mess for the janitor to clean up because "I'm giving them a job"
Shhhhhh....
[rebelmouse-image 18346909 is_animated_gif=People who say, "Don't tell anyone but..." or, "I'm not supposed to say this to anyone but..." or some version of not being able to keep to themselves what was disclosed to them in confidence. It immediately tells me nothing I tell them is safe.
On The Way Down
[rebelmouse-image 18346910 is_animated_gif=Smile too much and call me darling, experience has showed me that people are always treating me as a child when they do that, and I can expect the same respect they give to a child
Which is "I will respect you untill you dare to argue back"
Clutter
[rebelmouse-image 18346911 is_animated_gif=i don't trust people who just throw their s*** on the floor when they're done with it like what the f-ck tim just put it in a fucking bin like 10 feet away or fucking put it your nasty cargo shorts pockets like what the frickin heck dude
Storytime
[rebelmouse-image 18346912 is_animated_gif=I don't trust people who have a story for everything. They're usually always lying to get you to like them.
My Name Is Elder Price
[rebelmouse-image 18346913 is_animated_gif=Who wear short sleeved shirts and a tie.
Alas
[rebelmouse-image 18346914 is_animated_gif=I don't trust people who wear those eyeglasses with the fake nose and moustache. They're usually very sketchy but, alas, not always.
Alpaca Your Bags
[rebelmouse-image 18346915 is_animated_gif=People who chew with their mouth open. Not only is it bad manners but it's downright disrespectful to the ears. I immediately think they're a sh-t human being or an alpaca and I'll be damned if I ever trust an alpaca again.