Men are confusing creatures, even to other men. We do weird things, act tough for no reason, and often fear emotion. Why? Who knows.
Rancerle asked men of Reddit: What about men confuses you?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
10. We don't get it either.
Everything. I don't know how I got this far.
Same. I was raised by a single mother. I don't understand just about everything guys do as a group and I get super uncomfortable around more than one or two of them anyway
Ten percent luck
Twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure
Fifty percent bluffing my a-- off and having no one call me on it
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name.
9. Because men aren't supposed to feel.
Why is so hard to make friends as adults? It was so easy when I was a kid, even as a teenager, but now everybody want to either sell me something or making me work for free, like, everyone I meet just want to talk business, usually bad business.
I can make female friends, but not male friends, WTF?
This speaks to me. I have lots of female friends and can regularly get them to hang out but making commitments with guy friends is impossible. Then I'll meet a cool guy and try to find a time to hang out and... nothing.
Women generally tend to be interested in people. It amazes me how little dudes generally talk about each other's lives. You're conditioned to shun emotion.
8. Toxic masculinity is ruining the world.
I'm always confused by men who want to start fights and are constantly aggressive. I'm a Marine, so I know what it feels like to be amped up on adrenaline and what it's like to fight. All that means the last thing I ever want to do when I'm out at a bar is get into a fight, let along start one over something stupid. There have certainly been a couple times when I've had to calm myself down, but everyone has those experiences. I just hate hothead macho men with nothing better to do than look for opportunities to be outraged by something. It's like dogs who think they see someone they don't know in front of their house.
7. "Whoa.=, I wish I was that cool." - Nobody
Loud mufflers. They don't make your Honda sound like a Ferrari. They make it sound like a broken Honda.
One of my friends the other day was super confused as to why people don't like loud mufflers.
I can't imagine any situation where I'd have my conversation interrupted by loud rumbling and not be pissed off
You mean people don't like being woken up in the morning or dead of night by some twats belting up and down the motorway in their sh!tmobiles?
I wish it were legal to jam the exhausts up.
6. F*ck off, the mood.
Why do they always want to fight after any sort of conflictโI yelled "nice" at this guy who cut in front of traffic and he rolled down his window and yelled "let's f*ckin fight bro come on."
Last year I was letting my dog out, my neighbors have a bonfire going. I ask over the fence "making smores?" And the guy just looks at me and yells "GO F*CK YOURSELF" and stares me down. Seems a reasonable reaction.
Probably just didn't want to share his smores the greedy bastard
5. "cAuSe It'S gAy..."
The men that are scared to hang out 1 on 1 because someone might think we're on a date. It's real, look it up.
Funny you say that. A good friend of mine and I grab food every few months. We went to a restaurant (ok, it was Olive Garden) and the hostess tried seating us next to one another, side by side.
She blushed when I elected to sit across the table. Can't two dudes enjoy a night at Olive Garden when they want without everyone thinking it's a date??
Homophobia runs so f*cking deep it's not even funny. I'll never understand why people are afraid of people they have never met thinking they're gay. Or just people in general thinking that, literally who cares.
4. Mind the gap.
When I'm standing at a urinal peeing and a guy comes up to use the one right next to me and there are clearly open urinals further down the row. Why do this? Don't you know you're breaking men's restroom etiquette?
A guy at my work not only does this, but will start talking. F*ck off bud, some of us are pee shy!
As for people who try to talk while they're sat on the toilet, there is nobody on the planet I want to talk to while something is halfway out of their butthole.
3. Narrator: it isn't.
You really think the way to a girls heart is by sending her a picture of your penis?
Oddly, quite effective on Grindr though.
2. Lift the seat.
Why do you pee all over the seat and not clean it? I get when you have to go badly and no time to lift the seat. But you have to know you made a mess and I'm sure when you walk into a piss covered stall you also get pissed.
Especially when they do it in their own house. Over at a friend's house and there's piss splattered on the floor or wall around the toilet. Dude, if you can't get it all in the pot, just sit down. It's your own house. You're pissing all over your own house. I don't get it.
1. Guys, chill.
I'm not hitting on your damn gf I'm just trying to see if our answers for the homework are the same.
I was talking to a girl about a project we had to do For a graduate class and I was asking her for help with one specific part of it. While I was messaging her through Facebook, I got another message from her boyfriend that said, "Stop messaging my girlfriend and worry about yourself."
He was a cop who had graduated from college like a year before. I said to her, "uh I think your boyfriend just messaged me." I sent her the screen cap of his message and she apologized for him, and I'm assuming she talked to him. Every time I saw him he'd give me the stink eye or something. They eventually got married. I hope that's going well.
This Store Clerk's Reaction To A Stolen Sneaker Prank Should Earn Him Employee Of The Month
Twitter user @HarvinthSkin decided to give a sales associate as his local shoe store a heart attack with a silly prank. All over the internet, people are sharing the prank and sending their well-wishes to the poor worker who experienced a moment of pure panic!
I had to give it a try? ๐๐คท๐พโโ๏ธ Instagram : @harvinthskin https://t.co/Am45kGWYLQโ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543237039.0
Don't worry too much about the unfortunate sales employee, howeverโit turns out he was given a raise as a consolation shortly thereafter!
I apologised and gave man like Martin a hug after that! ๐๐๐ JD Sports, give him a raise! ๐ต Do not try this unless youโre Zizan โ๏ธโ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543238141.0
The owner of the shoe store made clear to Skin that his employees were not to be messed with.
IM SO HAPPY THAT MAN LIKE MARTIN IS SEEN HERE WITH THE BOSS OF JD SPORTS ASIA AND IS GETTING A RAISE FOR HIS VALIANโฆ https://t.co/vL5QO2xCB5โ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543300966.0
The Big Boss of JD Sports MY! Fuck me ๐๐๐๐๐๐ https://t.co/nq3O0bdS92โ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543239495.0
On Twitter, people loved the sales clerk's reaction to Skin running out of the store.
@harvinthskin That sales be like https://t.co/0i27D7vIWKโ Ignasius Kurniawan (@Ignasius Kurniawan) 1543239042.0
@harvinthskin Best one yet cause he went out the store lmaoโ Andradรฉ (@Andradรฉ) 1543265867.0
Some thought they may have reacted differently in the same situation...
@harvinthskin @thirdeyescribe Me watching you run out of the store like https://t.co/31kkJcHjOVโ The Count ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ (@The Count ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ) 1543370777.0
But everyone got a good laugh out of the innocent prank.
@harvinthskin @kxsxhh This shit was so funny....it made my dayโ Manvir (@Manvir) 1543247327.0
@harvinthskin @queenb0414 ๐๐๐๐๐๐ https://t.co/bejrX57i6wโ ๐ (@๐) 1543275269.0
@harvinthskin @iced_coffeee https://t.co/bqP08ZK3r9โ Manuel Jr. (@Manuel Jr.) 1543358200.0
The incident also gave us some priceless reactions!
@harvinthskin โwhew my bruce lee almost came outโ https://t.co/SOUOZ4IzBEโ Nyree. (@Nyree.) 1543344926.0
@harvinthskin @ClassyyMocha ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฆโโ๏ธSaw his whole life n last paycheck that fast!!โ โFZA of FUPA-Tang Clan๐ง๐ฟ (@โFZA of FUPA-Tang Clan๐ง๐ฟ) 1543288463.0
@sofarhangone @harvinthskin @ChiSupreme @llma95_ Run up? More like run out!! https://t.co/HwHu2TT4vOโ Desi Kubrick (@Desi Kubrick) 1543320755.0
Remember, everyone: it's important to try before you buy!
@harvinthskin @mjcz1 @LeeODell84 @reevesyboi93 try before you buy. why notโ 494949494949 (@494949494949) 1543512590.0
People Reveal What They Would Walk 500 Miles For And Then 500 More
How far would you go for something important? Would you walk 500 miles or 500 more? These people would, for a wide variety of reasons. Da da da da da da da da...
Rubyheart255 asked passionate Redditors: If you were to walk 500 miles, and 500 more, what would it be for?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

It's the journey that's important.
The second 500 would be to get back home.
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To where he was before
Da da da da!
Gotta catch 'em all.
Hatching eggs in Pokemon Go.
Yeah, but it'll only track 600km, if that.
This person's done it, and then some.
I waked 2,650 miles on the Pacific Crest Trail from Mexico and it led me to Canada. I walked 500 miles on the Colorado Trail and it led me from Durango to Denver. I walked 800 miles on the Arizona Trail from Mexico to Utah.
Needless to say, I like that song.
Where do you get the time?
I made it a priority.
I used to work a job that required I be present throughout the year. In 2014 I decided that I didn't want to do that anymore. So I set my priority on freedom of time and now work a job where I actually make substantively more money over the course of the year, but I'm able to work for 6 months, then take 6 months off, then go back and pick up my job where I left off.
It took a long time and a lot of effort to find work like this, but since it was my number one priority, I made it happen.
Worth noting, I do not have a wife, kids, any debts/loans, my belongings are minimal, and it's easy for me to put everything in storage and just leave for months at a time. The freedom is amazing.
Someday I'd like to have a property and family, but I don't want to have regrets when I get there. So in the meantime I'm making sure that I can live this life of freedom and adventure.
Burn 3,500 calories, lose a pound.
Losing weight.
Only reason I'd do it as well. I am not super fat, but it would give let opportunity to eat terribly and then just sit around gaining weight from laziness.
Walk like you're paid for it.
To get ยฃ100,000,000.
I see we are on the same wavelength.
Walking is a fantastic way to reduce stress.
To stop f*cking stressing about everything. I'd sell my soul. I need a break. I don't even have much left to stress over. I'm just still in that passive stressful mood I've been on for weeks. I normally am pretty chill and don't stress even if there's like finals and I'm sick and I need a job and all that. I used to manage fine. But now I just can't stop. That's the one thing I'd do anything for is to stop.
If you're feeling this stressed all the time, even in situations you shouldn't, that's general anxiety disorder and you need to see someone for it. I promise, it will get better if you do. Source: went through the same thing
Awww.
To bring my dog back without epilepsy.
Yesterday we had to put her down because her seizures were killing her, and I'd walk through hell to bring her back and she didn't have epilepsy anymore.
Even though me and my wife did our best and did more than most people and she had a good life, she deserves better than what she had.
So I'd walk 1000 miles through glass and rusty nails barefoot for her. in a heartbeat.
Finally.
Just to be the man who walks 1,000 miles to fall down at your door.
This is the correct answer.
Our resumes can be an asset to separate us from the competition - but if we really want to stand out, why not include unique personal accomplishments? Beat a tough video game? Add it. Turned in a lost item to its owner even though you wanted to keep it? Throw it on there. Are you funny? Make your interviewer laugh, it can't hurt, right?
Shore20 asked professionals of Reddit: What's one thing you're deeply proud of โ but would never put on your rรฉsumรฉ?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Petty Warcraft revenge.
In World of Warcraft I was attempting to kill this elite rare spawn. It was reasonably difficult to do solo and would take several minutes to get done. While I was about 3/4 the way through killing it, three other players showed up, killed me, and stole the rare spawn kill. A little bit later, the rare spawn was up again and I saw those same three people killing it. I ran in and killed all three of them and stole my rare spawn kill back from them, ending the whole ordeal with just a few percent of my health left. It didn't drop anything great, but it was so satisfying.
Is there a slot for honesty?
Once in elementary school, lunch was ending and I found a perfect condition Blue Eyes White Dragon on the ground. Hellll yeah. I picked that sh*t up and walked towards my class as rain was beginning to fall.
Thats when I turn the corner to see a kid panicking and crying, running around feverishly. I asked him what was wrong and he said he lost his Blue Eyes White Dragon... It took a lot of willpower to give it up (my parents couldnt afford to buy me booster packs or anything), but I did give it back to him then and there. I look back on it fondly now, it helps when I feel like a waste of air.
It's what Yugi would have done
You're not a waste of air, my dude.
I can barely clip my cats' nails but okay.
I got a call from a friend who also raised goats, she had a 5 month old who had a bum leg and the older kids were picking on her. I picked her up, but it was the start of a long weekend and every vet was closed for the next several days.
Turns out, she had broken her hind leg, about 3" above her ankle. Clean break, no broken skin.
I set it, then splinted it with a soda bottle cut so it would roll on itself. Wrapped it in vet wrap, planning to stabalize it through the weekend.
Couldnt get an appointment until a week later, where an xray showed that the leg was healing perfectly.
I feel like you could use that for a "how do you respond during stress" or "a time you've gone above and beyond" type interview question.
Lettuce discuss your qualifications.
Ate a whole head of iceberg lettuce in under 11 minutes. Most of my friends didn't even finish but I'm the Lettuce King.
There actually is a lettuce club at my University where during each annual meeting there's a competition to see who can eat a head of lettuce the fastest. Whoever wins is crowned the lettuce king.
Edit: Apparently there are many other universities that do this.shortsonapanda
"Lettuce hold a meeting next year."
Now, lettuce pray.
That's a lot of blood.
I've donated over 10 gallons of blood to the Red Cross. I actually had it on my resume for a while but some people get really weird about it.
Depends whether or not it was your blood
You donate one pint, you're a hero. You donate 10 gallons and everybody starts asking whose blood this is.
Geometry was the devil.
Not sure if this belongs here, but I'm real proud of an accomplishment I had in 10th grade (a little over a decade ago, now). I was taking a regular Geometry class and we were given our mid-term. I got through it quickly, but there was a bonus question on the back. I'm not sure how much it was worth, but the question was basically this:
Here's an extremely abstract object. Find its area. Oh yeah, not telling you the length of any of its sides. Have fun.
I spent about an hour on this one question. Now mind you, it was multiple choice, so I could've guessed and had a 25% chance. But nah, I wanted to crack it! So I brought out my ruler, drew dotted lines, etc, and got to the answer.
When the teacher gave back out tests, he asked those who got the bonus question right to raise their hands. He then asked those who actually worked out the problem to keep their hands raised, and the rest were to lower theirs. I was the only one who still had their hand raised.
Teacher: "I gave this question to all of my classes, including my Honors students. Out of them all, dmxell is the only one who correctly worked out the problem. Dmxell, can you please come to the board and show everyone how to do it."
After I copied my work to the board, my teacher followed up with: "He's right."
Boom. This made my school year. But obviously I'd never put it on a resume, lol.
I was on the math team in high school. The first meet, I took the geometry test. There was this triangle, with criss-cross lines that were all congruent. I had to find the measure of angle a.
I took my pencil, and turned it around on the paper following the lines. I counted 7 angles, and the pencil ended turned around (180 degrees). My answer was 25.714 degrees.
At the end of the tests, we could take our scratch paper with (everyone took the tests asy the same time, so cheating wasn't an issue). My classmates saw my paper and laughed in my face. I was the only one (150 people) who got it right.
Edit: the problem: https://imgur.com/gallery/L8sx8EF
AB=BC=CD=DE=EF=FG=AG (technically congruent, but can't symbol that properly) Find the measure of angle A.
Definitely worth putting on a resume.
I'm fantastic at making balloon animals. I've got no good reason to be good at it.
It would look great on your resume if you were to work as a child entertainer.
Unfortunately I'm an aspiring software engineer so I don't think it'll make the cut for a while. Maybe some day for sh*ts I'll toss "is able to make a balloon bicycle" on my CV.
Actually, this is quite a feat.
I have over 11 1/2 years clean and sober. It's a good thing but I'm not telling potential employers about it.
Congrats! I'm 11 years sober myself. It is quite the accomplishment!
Worth it.
I ate 6 bowls of pasta at the pasta deathmatch challenge AKA the Olive Garden never ending pasta bowl.
Congratulations! Your award is indigestion!
I didn't poo for almost three days.
There's a story.
I was once called "inconsiderate" by a serial killer.
You can't leave us hanging like that -story time.
Back in 2008, I was a news photographer for a local CBS station. We were doing a story on a lady known regionally as "The Black Widow" - every husband she'd ever had mysteriously wound up dead, and she'd collected some 3 or 4 massive life insurance payouts over the course of her life. She had finally been caught and was appearing before an official in the local prison - it was some kind of small hearing in a tiny room, but I don't know the exact details. I had my camera on her with the top light turned on, and she kept putting her hand up in front of her face to block my shot. I'd turn it off, she'd put it down. Turn it back on, hand went up. I soon realized we're not going to have a single usable shot of this lady in our story that evening because the hearing was going to be over in no time, so I turned the camera on to record her, but shut the top light off. This made the shot a bit darker than I wanted, but it fooled her - she put her hand down and I got plenty of video of her. But not before she looked right in my camera lens, gave me a glare, and said, "You are very inconsiderate." Part of me wanted to ask her where "video taping a criminal" fell on the scale relative to "murdering a bunch of husbands," but I held my tongue.
Clever Dog Tricks McDonald's Customers Into Feeding Her By Pretending To Be A Stray ๐
It's a dog eat dog world out there and sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do. At least that's what one dog owner realized when she caught her pooch trolling the streets looking for an easy meal.
Facebook user Betsy Reyes busted her dog Princess who was out moonlighting as a stray in order to play on the sympathies of strangers. It seems Princess likes to wander off to her favorite hangout, the local McDonald's, and work the drive through lane like a pro.
And that's what she did right up until Reyes busted her scam. Reyes, who lives in Oklahoma City, took to Facebook and outed Princess in the most hysterical way, saying:
"If you see my dog @ the McDonald's on shields, quit feeding her fat ass bc she don't know how to act & be leaving the house all the time to go walking to McDonald's at night. She's not even a stray dog. She's just a gold diggin ass bitch that be acting like she's a stray so people will feel bad for her & feed her burgers."
Lots of scammers out there.
@CBSNews My lab Would jump the fence every morning as I got ready to work and when I went to leave he would reappeaโฆ https://t.co/NJhg4ZuGq1โ Anneik ๐ (@Anneik ๐) 1540434345.0
@CBSNews https://t.co/UqWvClKi8zโ Bruinlover- follower of Nakia (@Bruinlover- follower of Nakia) 1540418292.0
@CBSNews I TOOK MINE TO THE DRUGSTORE AND WHILE I WAS PAYING HE STOLE A CANDY BAR, WALKED RIGHT OUT THE DOOR WIโฆ https://t.co/U3DlWunzcKโ PUEBLO294 (@PUEBLO294) 1540415919.0
@LCaro294 @CBSNews Mine stole a butterdish at my mumโs house, ate all the butter then buried the butterdish to hide the evidence.โ Tricoteuse (@Tricoteuse) 1540418005.0
@CBSNews My dog would 100% do this if she could get out of the house. On our walks she stands in the doorways of foโฆ https://t.co/33ovz44HUXโ Skulls&Bacon (@Skulls&Bacon) 1540420511.0
@BillichThomas @skullsandbacon @CBSNews 100% would hand over my bagel, if only because she looks so annoyed with meโฆ https://t.co/aQs5qKhETNโ Claire Pettie (@Claire Pettie) 1540434235.0
It's an adorable story, but maybe get the dog a collar with identification?
@CBSNews Pretends? Leaves the collar stashed around the corner, or what?โ Jim Snell (@Jim Snell) 1540429214.0
@CBSNews This is adorable but this dog should 100% be wearing a collar and also get microchipped! Love this story :)โ Minka โACABโ Eisenhower (@Minka โACABโ Eisenhower) 1540418766.0
Not everyone thought the story was cute.
@CBSNews Great way to keep your dog safe. ๐โ ๐ง๐ปโโ๏ธ Free Hugs ๐ ๐บ๐ธ๐ณ๐ด๐ซ๐ฎโฎ๏ธโ๏ธ โ๐ฑ๐ท (@๐ง๐ปโโ๏ธ Free Hugs ๐ ๐บ๐ธ๐ณ๐ด๐ซ๐ฎโฎ๏ธโ๏ธ โ๐ฑ๐ท) 1540414161.0
@CBSNews Unless you can keep your dog safe at home and not out in traffic where she could be hit by a car, stolen,โฆ https://t.co/6BMPMLYgYsโ Lindsey McBride (@Lindsey McBride) 1540435397.0
Of course, when a girl's gotta eat, a girl's gotta eat.
@chabsmescudi Funny.... but time to build a super gate. https://t.co/NZBE1s3lm6โ OEL๐๐๐ (@OEL๐๐๐) 1540238320.0
@chabsmescudi The dog: https://t.co/FSmeFYhspTโ Angie (@Angie) 1540231585.0
@BetsysReyes @chabsmescudi Your dog every night after standing on the road https://t.co/mrTCMOtOVAโ N.A.S.A (@N.A.S.A) 1540235406.0
@chabsmescudi I would have been mad if my dog didnโt bring anything back. https://t.co/qb7ED7cwMGโ Name Change (@Name Change) 1540325221.0
Let's hope Princess has learned her lesson and stays home.
H/T: Huffington Post, Mashable