So listen, we don't expect teachers to have a master-level grasp of everything they teach. Nobody expects you to be a marine biologist with a specialization in cetaceans to teach a third grader about dolphins.
You should at least know they aren't fish.
As an educator, I'm not here for expecting teachers to know everything all the time with no mistakes.
Humans don't human that way, so the way that the original poster framed the question gave me pause...
Reddit user A_Purple_Pengiuns asked:
"What is the moment you realized 'my teacher is an idiot.' "
But the answers absolutely convinced me that this needed sharing. Most of the responses weren't about the teacher not knowing something, more about the teacher's attitude.
A willingness to argue with and/or mock small children is a pretty solid indicator that you're not cut out to be a teacher.
Look at some of these responses.
Lava
Lava Thumbs Up GIF
Giphy
"2nd grade teacher had our class naming the hottest things we could think of."
"A few kids already said the most obvious, like sun and fire so the third thing I could think of off the top of my head was lava."
"Turns out lava isn't real; the teacher had the whole class laugh at me for believing it was."
"She made me feel stupid as hell for years until I learned that lava IS real, and my teacher was a d*ck."
- Morpheus11011
Lettoochay?
Hannibal Buress Diet GIF by Adult Swim
Giphy
"When my ENGLISH teacher (I’m from Italy so we have English as a second language) said 'lettoochay' instead of 'lettuce.' "
"She was also one of the worst teachers and ended up getting replaced."
-Kriumpus
"I may start calling lettuce 'lettoochay.' Sounds so fancy."
-iamamuttonhead
What Makes An Animal
Disney Pixar Ocean GIF by Disney
Giphy
"I remember the time my 4th grade teacher tried educating us on what makes an animal. One of the criterion she came up with was all animals have brains."
"I asked, 'What about jellyfish? They don’t have brains.' ”
"To which she replied, 'Well then they aren’t alive, are they?' ”
-cakeman936
A Unit Of Measurement
Confused Gary Coleman GIF
Giphy
"In primary school, I asked my teacher what an ounce was."
"She hushed me, told me it wasn't real and to never ask that again. As though as a nine year old I was asking about an ounce of weed and not the unit of measurement."
-elfbro
" 'not here kid, meet me in the parking lot after class.' "
- Disposable591
"Probably was on weed if that was what they immediately thought you were talking about."
- ADABISCUIT
Thanks, Mom
Mothers Day Eyes GIF
Giphy
"My 2nd grade teacher wanted to hold me back because of my math grade."
"Her evidence? She did these things called mad minutes where you had to try and solve as many problems as possible."
"I don't perform well under that kind of pressure. My anxiety doesn't allow it."
"My mom laughed in the teacher's face when she explained her reasoning for wanting to hold me back. The teacher tried to put my mom in her place by saying that only a professional educator can make these kinds of assessments."
"My mom had a master's in education. I didn't get held back."
-IntentionalTexan
How Projectors Work
Music Video Colors GIF by Polyvinyl Records
Giphy
"My biology teacher in high school asked me a question, the answer to which was projected onto the whiteboard via an overhead projector."
"I looked at the whiteboard, and she quickly placed her left hand over the part that had the answer to try and hide it."
"Except instead of covering what was on the projector, she covered the whiteboard it was projecting onto. I pointed out that everything was still projected onto her hand ... cause it's a projector. So I could still see the answer."
"She was visibly upset, kind of panicked, and then she slapped her right hand on top of her left hand as if that was going to cover it. It didn't, of course, cause projectors just keep projecting onto whatever surface."
"I bursted out with laughter. She kicked me out and called my parents."
-ok-ox
Possibly Senile?
What The Wtf GIF by Fluffy Friends
Giphy
"When my grade 2 teacher tried to hold me back a year, only to discover that she thought I was my older sibling (3 years my senior) whom she had also taught in the 2nd grade."
"To be fair, she was way too old to still be teaching. She may have been legitimately senile?"
"I had good grades for a 7-year-old, whereas my sibling (though not a dullard) didn’t. So I came home with an excellent report card ... along with a letter to my parents that I was going to be held back due to poor grades."
"Wtf?"
" My parents sorted it out and I didn’t get held back, but it was definitely a big deal. This was in 1980 and teachers could in fact fail kids like this back then, and did so often. Or at least this one teacher did."
"I guess it was an accepted practice at that place and time. I'm glad they don't do it like this anymore."
- CrieDeCoeur
Ocean Life
the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy dolphin GIF
Giphy
"She thought dolphins were fish. No amount of arguing by third grade me was enough to convince her otherwise".
" 'They live in the ocean, they're fish.' "
-AssociationJumpy
"Should have asked her about seaweed, or sponges."
-ReallyHadToFixThat
People Explain Which Movie Never Fails To Make Them Cry
People Explain Which Movie Never Fails To Make Them Cry
People talk about their go-to films for when they need to let some emotions loose.
Native Speakers v. Peggy Hill
I Agree Episode 2 GIF by P-Valley
Giphy
"My mom went to take a university class in Greek. She’s a native speaker, so she was hoping for an easy A and to maybe just read some new literature."
"The professor was Peggy Hill-ing it hard and my mom tried to correct her pronunciation. This woman really told my mom that she was wrong about how to pronounce it!"
"Then another native speaker in the class spoke up and confirmed my mother was right."
"She never called on either of them in class again lol"
-Is_Bob_Costas_Real
Since You're Not Checking...
surprised gerry dee GIF by CBC
Giphy
"College professor has us reading a handout; at one point the essay mentions 'Acmeism' and the professor stops to ask the class if anyone knows what that means."
"Silence. 'Darn, I was really hoping someone would be able to tell me.' "
"A quick spotlight search showed to me that this was essentially a genre of Russian poetry, but what was really revealed is that she was too lazy to search an unfamiliar term before teaching with it and therefore she wouldn't be searching anything in my essays either."
"I started making up terms and schools of though, just stringing words together like 'Post-Counter Bifuturism.' I got A after A."
-JewcyBoy
Just Teach Us About Enzymes
jesus GIF
Giphy
"When a substitute biology teacher spent the whole class telling us evolution wasn’t real and we should rip those pages out our textbooks."
"He also felt it was vital for us to know that Jesus was a vegetarian (pretty sure there was a whole lot in the Bible about Jesus and fish, though) and if we weren’t vegetarians we were going to die of cancer like his brother did."
"We were meant to be learning about enzymes."
- TechnicalZucchini6
Because Plants Can't Scream
Food Salad GIF by Nickelodeon
Giphy
"My high school biology teacher somehow found out I was a vegetarian and took the time from one of our lessons to say this, standing in front of my desk, slightly pointing at me with her fingers:"
“ 'I know some people believe they are different because they don’t eat meat, but you’re still just as cruel as anyone else. Plants have feelings too, you just don’t care about them because they can’t scream.' ”
"I signed up for another biology class, but she kept talking sh*t about me to my classmates in the other class just because I decided not to eat meat. I'd never even spoken to her about it!"
- Impossible_Past_7225
Yaks Are Extinct?
Giphy
"My sister's teacher in grade 2 thought saying 'yeah' was wrong somehow."
"She also thought it was the sound that yaks make."
"And that yaks are extinct."
"So if you said 'yeah' to her she'd just say 'is there an extinct animal in here?' until you said yes."
"Imagine all those little kids growing up arguing about yaks being extinct and eventually finding out they're still around and quite common."
- WaterChestnutII
The White Man's Burden
Season 19 Episode 10 GIF by The Simpsons
Giphy
"9th grade global history. It's an overview survey style class at best, nothing too deep - except the teacher."
"Teacher is a self proclaimed tough guy; but he failed out of state trooper programs, local police program, and was cut from every team he tried out for in high school, and college."
"Finally he ended up a teacher in a small town that doesn't have a good reputation. Maybe that explains his attitude?"
"Anyway, he gets up in front of the class and tells everyone when we do an overview of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. He doesn't stop there, though."
"He then tells us that all religion is garbage, and Christianity is the white man's burden. If you believe in it please drop this class..."
"To 14yr olds. In 9th grade. In a small town school where there is only 4 different history classes; one for each year of high school."
"Get real dude, we couldn't drop your class if we wanted to and you know it. And believe me, we all wanted to. He was exhausting and all we wanted was for him to shut the hell up."
- DaylightPrarie
Too Young To Play That
fail black and white GIF
Giphy
"In grade 6 our English teacher has as write out a fictional police report."
"I wrote about Grand Theft Auto; not the game, but the actual crime of stealing a car. We were supposed to write about a crime and that was just the one I picked."
"But because I used that term Grand Theft Auto, she instantly failed me without even reading it or letting me explain."
"She said I just wrote about a video game that I was too young to be playing at the time."
- skunkdude13
Ladies Don't Hydrate
selena gomez water GIF
Giphy
"Not a teacher but she's still a secretary or something. The point is she had a high position of authority at my school, and she would watch classes if the teacher was out."
"If she caught you doing something she didn't like in the hallway, she'd pull you aside and ask why you did what you did (you could literally have your phone in your pocket and she would still pull you aside because it wasn't in your bag) in a super accusing tone."
"She was in the hallway talking to some teachers when I went to get some water, and she told me to stop and said 'ladies don't do that.' "
"Ladies, is it improper to want water? Am I some freak of nature for being thirsty?"
- scarieststar
I Didn't Go Here!
she doesnt even go here mean girls GIF
Giphy
"I had just moved to a new school in the beginning of the second term of the school year in 10th grade."
"The math teacher gave me - the new kid- demerits and detention for not doing the homework she had given the class the previous term before the break. You know, the term that I was in a completely different high school and city for?"
"I couldn't even defend myself or else I'd just get more detention."
- tyedontdye
Square Watermelons
Hungry Watermelon GIF
Giphy
"My sons teacher. In 4th grade they had to do a project on GMO’s. They had to read a provided article and then write an essay on the positives and negatives of GMO crops and then state their opinion on the use of them."
"It was online learning during lockdown, so I was in the room listening when I heard the teacher tell the kids some examples of a GMO crops were square watermelons and pumpkins."
"Now, the Japanese got real innovative with vegetable and fruit molds to grow produce into fun little shapes and so there are, indeed, square watermelons and pumpkins. We actually got a pumpkin to grow into the shape of a 5 gallon bucket once!"
"But what she was explaining to the kids is that they were square because they were genetically altered to grow like that. She, apparently, was unaware that they only look like that because they put the immature fruit into a mold and allowed it to fill the space taking on the shape of the mold. There is no genetic modification involved."
"I had to tell my son to completely erase everything she taught them about GMOs because none of it was true, thankfully the online article and movie they provided was pretty accurate."
"They are so young, imagine all the kids that took her square watermelon GMO lie as fact."
- ViciousFlowers
Teachers are human, humans make mistakes. Facts are facts. Please, teachers, do not decide to be Smugbob Smuggypants about it.
These answers got me wondering, do your negative teacher experiences follow the same pattern?
Was it the incident, or the attitude ABOUT it that seared it into your mind?
Let me know in the comments.
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Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.
More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.
Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.
Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.
Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:
"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"
Don't Give Me So Much Credit...
'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."
"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."
"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."
"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"
"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher
Eternal Optimism...
"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."
"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465
Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...
"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”
"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”
"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia
Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office
Giphy
Double Whammy!
"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."
"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93
Can't Hide Your DNA...
'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."
"She cracked the code."
"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93
Self-Sufficient!
"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."
"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."
"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'
"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody
Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations
Giphy
A Miracle!
"My brother-in-law’s comment."
"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."
"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."
"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."
"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."
"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."
"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"
"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn
Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...
"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."
"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."
"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."
"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."
"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379
Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K.
Giphy
A Bit Too On The Nose?
"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."
"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."
"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."
"'What would you expect to find there?'"
"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB
Not Yet, Anyway...
"I was working with my friend and his dad."
"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."
"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."
"His dad asked, 'what for?'"
"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."
"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890
Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...
"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."
"She told this story to him:"
"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."
"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."
"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."
"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."
"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."
"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."
"She asked him what was wrong."
“'What’s wrong???'"
"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714
On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO
Giphy
Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...
"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."
"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52
Read The Room People!
"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."
"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."
"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"
"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl
There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".
As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.
Teachers are meant to impart knowledge to the next generation, but they have to get the kids to pay attention first.
Not an easy task.
So many, too many schools are plagued by kids who have no self-control.
Teachers end up playing referee, counselor, and parent in addition to their teaching role.
All of those additional hats don't come with any additional pay.
It's no wonder we're in a teacher shortage.
Redditor _Planet_Mars_ wanted the teachers out there to share some rough student stories, so they asked:
"Teachers, what is the worst thing you've seen a student do?"
I once saw a kid drive their car into the school office.
They were drunk.
Thankfully no one was injured.
POP!
"The was a loud pop and a flash in the back corner of the classroom. I asked the student sitting there what happened. She said it was firecrackers. I sent her to the office. While she was still in the office, I realized the electrical outlets in the room didn’t work. At that point, another student fessed up that the student sent to the office had put a pair of scissors in the outlet. I’m not sure why that student thought it was better to lie and claim she was doing fireworks inside the school?"
mynamelessname
Pain
"When I was teaching preschool, I had a little girl, between 3-4, walk up to another girl who was sitting on the rug reading a book, grab her by the hair and slam her head into the wall. They hadn’t been interacting in any way prior. When I asked her why she did it, she said she 'wanted her to know it hurts.'"
No-Doubt-8748
That Kid
"A different type of bad than most of these."
"I was a teacher at a poor inner-city school. I had a lot of wonderful students but some difficult ones. One was the worst — bright but was always sleeping through class and acting up and never doing homework. I lived about 30 minutes away. One night, I stopped by the local Wawa after a night out with friends. Was at least 11:30 pm and I was already dreading the early morning drive to school. And who should be checking me out but my own 'problem' student."
"He was working late to make money for his family and then getting home at 1:00 am or later before heading into school on 4-5 hours of sleep. He was a smart kid. Really smart. I hope things worked out for him but I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if he’d been allowed to have a childhood and focus on his education."
Low_Cartographer2944
Blame the Heat
Sweating James Mcavoy GIF
Giphy
"It gets very hot here in the warmer months and so the school put out those big containers for water for everyone. Well, one student was caught peeing into a bag and dumping it into the containers."
huzzahserrah
Some kids really need some deeper therapy.
Peeing in bags? Seriously?!
From Beneath
"My wife is an elementary teacher and has a kid this year that likes to slip under their desk and lick toes (we live in a warm state) and they all think he will grow up to be a creeper."
CherryManhattan
BOOM
"This was the worst thing I know of that happened at my high school."
"Someone brought a blasting cap to school (OK, that's a bit dumb), and flushed it down the toilet (that's REALLY dumb). Then told a teacher about it, because maybe it wasn't such a good idea (their best idea that day, really)."
"Wound up with that restroom being taken out of service while the fire department x-rayed the plumbing to find and remove the (admittedly tiny) explosive. Took several weeks before it was back in service."
gogstars
Sad
"My favorite teacher in high school was a very kind a lenient man. Do your work, be respectful, and follow the major school rules and you and him would be cool. The one thing that would seem minor, but that he was very strict about was taking any medication in any way shape, or form in his classroom."
"One day, I needed to take some Advil for cramps and asked to take it. He said I needed to go to the nurse for permission. I ended up asking him why he was so strict about it. it turns out, he had a student pass out in class one day at his former school. He tried to wake her up and called the nurse, but she wouldn't wake up. They called 911 and by the time they got there, she had died of an OD on narcotics she took in the bathroom that she had hidden in a Tylenol bottle. I don't know how he went back to teaching after that."
musical-nerd24601
Painful
Moving Season 2 GIF by Paramount+
Giphy
"Saw a 4-year-old purposely push a piece of furniture over onto another 4-year-old at preschool. It actually really hurt the other kid, and her parents took the school to court."
MPD1987
Kids are brutal.
No wonder people home school.
