People Share The Most Awkward Positions They've Been Put In
If you want people to lie for you, you have to warn them in advance!
My man's got this friend named Chad. Chad isn't his real name, but that's what we're going with for this article. Chad is in a relationship that is ... well ... there's a reason Facebook had to come up with the "it's complicated" status. Nobody is happy, they often go out of their way to avoid one another or are forcing performative affection for the 'gram. One night, Chad decided he was going to hide from LadyChad and told her he couldn't see her because he was spending time with us. He then made up a whole elaborate story about drinking wine (which he doesn't normally do) and overdoing it because he really liked it.
Thing is, Chad never told US that he used us as a ridiculously specific cover story.
So imagine my surprise when I get a message from LadyChad on Instagram (not an app I'm terribly active on as far as messaging and I have literally never spoken a single word to LadyChad at this point) asking what kind of wine I had given Chad because she wanted to go out and purchase several bottles.
Um ... what? So there I am awkwardly staring at my phone already having responded to her "hi" so I can't just ghost the girl. She knows I've read her messages and am actively on my phone. Chad doesn't really talk to me, so I have no idea how I got roped into this, and I'm looking around like "WHAT DO I DO!?!?!"
Babe later assured me this is the sort of thing Chad did to him all the time and LadyChad was probably well aware that he was lying. Still, I didn't appreciate getting sucked into some elaborate Chad-scheme. If you're going to do that to people, you have to give them a heads up! One Reddit user asked:
What's the most awkward position someone's ever put you in?
... apparently the world is FULL of Chads. Get it together, guys. Stop being Chads. Here are some of my favorite responses - edited for clarity when needed. Enjoy the cringefest!
Didn't Know About The Divorce
GiphyI'm about to go for supper with my mom's new boyfriend, she's 50. I didn't know my parents were divorced.
The Invoice
GiphyMy mom sent me an "invoice" for raising me. I hadn't spoken to her in 4 years at this point. I called her to see what was up. She told me that if I don't pay the amount of the invoice, she's going to lose the house she's living in. She lamented that I was an expensive child because I had so many health issues, and how she was owed this money.
I explained to her that I wasn't responsible for my birth or the complications during my birth that she caused. She cried until I hung up, then immediately called me back with stone cold composure and told me I was no longer a part of her family. Big loss there.
Confronted By A Coworker
GiphyWas getting a drink at work and when I turned around my female coworker trapped me in a corner. She demanded to know why I don't look at her like the other guys. "I know I'm older than you but am I not pretty?" Luckily another coworker saw us and I just walked away laughing like she just told a joke.
- BigMilk0
Teacher's Erotic Poetry
GiphyMy high school English teacher read us erotic poetry she wrote about her husband... who happened to be our History teacher.
Five Minutes Of Faking It
GiphyI grew up not actively doing religious stuff and I lived in the middle of an aggressively Mormon neighborhood. One day when I was in the third grade I was invited to one of my super Mormon friends house for dinner. I went and her mother asked me to say grace. Being a stupid 10 year old with no idea how to say I didn't know how, I clasped my hands together and mumbled under my breath for five minutes. *five minutes *. I probably would of gone long if the mom didn't stop me.
I didn't have dinner with them again.
Sister or Best Friend?
GiphyRight, settle in and grab the popcorn, I've got a story for you. My sister married my best mate from college, it kinda made sense at the time because he had always been around at our house, spending time with my family etc. There were no hard feelings from me, I thought they were kinda cute and a couple. Anyhoo they get married had a huge reception were my parent spent an absolute fortune inviting probably close to 300 people, not just friends of my sister and her hubby but friends of my parents to show off to at how perfect the happy couple were.. Fast forward a couple of years and my sister and her husband had emigrated to a different country and out of the blue she calls me and asks if I can visit. So I pack my bags and go on holiday. When I arrive my sister tells me that she is getting a divorce from my mate and that she has been in a relationship with a lady on the sly for a year. So I've got my sister who now wants me to stay with her and support her through the divorce process and on the other hand I now have my best mate who is absolutely crushed as a male doubting his masculinity (as you would if your wife of 10 years just upped sticks and declared her self lesbian) who wants me to live with him and play video games and smoke pot with him every night.
I went and lived with my buddy. We got high every night, got drunk all the time and shagged everything.
I met my sisters new lady friend and we didn't gel. My sisters partner is almost as old as my mother is and I wish my sister all the best, but I struggle to connect properly with her new wife.
Acquaintance Awkwardness
GiphyAn acquaintance was crashing at my place for a night. We went out and had a fun night out together, he ends up bringing someone home. I crash while they're enjoy each other's company. I hear the front door open and close in the middle of the night and figure she's gone home.
Around noon the next day, the guest bedroom door finally opens and I hear him walking down the hallway toward where I am in the kitchen. I'm pouring a cup of coffee for him when a FEMALE VOICE says hello.
Turns out it was the acquaintance that left in the middle of the night. He left the hung-over bar-girl in my house. She and I had an awkward conversation while she drank a coffee then left.
- milesmac
A Dramatic Reading
GiphyI was waiting in a school office to be interviewed for an Art teaching position in a middle school 7 years ago.
There was another art teacher who already worked at the school in the office and she was trying to be friendly and make conversation with me.
She pulls out her cellphone and asks me my name. I tell her and she immediately logs into Facebook and finds my profile (which I left open to public at the time) and immediately starts reading my profile out loud for everyone in the office to hear.
Grindr Gone Wrong
GiphyTalking to a dude on Grindr and he invited me over. He started being way overly affectionate as soon as I stepped in the door. We had the typical "gay dudes about to hook-up chat" where we talk about work and how often we do this, etc. Things soon get hot and heavy. As soon as he was about to penetrate, he had a full on mental breakdown and started sobbing into my chest...
It went on for like 15 minutes and all I wanted to do was to get out of there! All I could do was reluctantly coddle him while he was hyperventilating over his recent breakup. We're both bare-ass naked, I've lost all libido at this point and I just prayed for him to get off me.
As soon as he calmed down, I don't think I've ever moved so fast in my life to get out of that house.
Thanksgiving Dinner
GiphyMy wife and kids and I were invited to her parents' house for Thanksgiving, along with her two sisters. While we were all around the table and the food had been served, sister number one discovered that sister number three was dating number one's ex. An angry, awkward silence ensued. The kids started asking why nobody was talking. Potatoes were passed really hard. Platters were smacked onto the table. Stink eye was amply provided to anyone over 10 who dared to speak. It was quite a celebration of love and family.
Grandma Is An Addict
GiphyMy Grandmother is currently addicted to opiods. She frequently and often texts me asking me to take her to the hospital, effectively forcing me to tell her "You need to call 911." Even though I am almost always certain it's purely so she can go in and get her high. What's more, she tries to guilt trip people who won't take her anymore, including me, saying, "Oh I can't walk! It hurts so much I can't stand!" Except we all know it's bullshit because it only ever happens within a few days of her morphine refill. Also, the fact that her doctor recommends exercise and PT really doesn't help her credibility.
It's just so awkward having to tell my own grandmother that she's addicted, that she needs to stop going to the ER for things that aren't actually emergencies, and to actually do what the doctor tells her. It's so awful actually.
"Previous Experience"
GiphyThe guy I lost my virginity to married a friend from high school. That, in of itself, would have been whatever. The awkward part happened when she reached out to me for advice because she was a virgin and was sort of worried about his "previous experience."
She didn't know that previous experience was with me...
After We've Worked An Entire Shift Together
GiphyMy boss makes me come in the room with her as a witness when she writes people up. It's awkward as f^ck because its usually after we've worked an entire shift together. I always make sure to tell them I had no idea and have nothing to do with it.
When Only One Of You Knows It's A Date
GiphyI was a freshman in college and a dude invited me to his place but worded it in a way that made it sound like other people would be there. I arrive in the same outfit I wore to band practice, and the dude opens the door wearing nice clothes. Shirt tucked in and everything. I chill with him, expecting more people would be arriving any minute, and they never do. Eventually a roommate comes out to get water and then goes back to his room. It eventually hits me that the guy is interested in me and this was some weird "date" thing. I was mortified. And in retrospect, it horrifies me that had he had really bad intentions, I willfully walked into a potentially dangerous situation. Luckily his intentions actually were just to chill with me. But I was BEYOND uninterested, and unskilled in the art of leaving places without feeling like I was rude. I think he could tell that I was caught off guard and he felt awkward as well. I mean he was dressed nice and I was in fucking band practice clothes. It was one of the most excruciating nights of my life. We had NOTHING in common and struggled for things to talk about. Cringing as I write this. Ew ew ew ew.
Grandchildren
GiphyWas hanging out with family. It was my 3 older siblings and their spouses as well as my brother who just had his first kid. That made me the only one without children. My mom proceeds to go on about how much she loves grandchildren and that I'm next and that I need to hurry up - while I'm sitting there with my girlfriend.
We had never really discussed kids at this point. I sat there having my family focus on me and ask all sorts of personal questions that I didn't want to be answering in front of everyone. It felt like an interrogation.
Oh, THAT Kind Of Tattoo
GiphyWas working at a hospital ER as a paramedic and was starting an IV on this old lady who had a thick Eastern European accent. I was finishing up and she made a comment on my tattoos on my arms and she said something about her just one tattoo and of course being friendly I asked what she got it of. She looked me in the eyes and said "Well it was something I didn't want to get" and of course I start connecting the dots and she was just about the right age to have been held in a concentration camp. It got real cold in that room all of a sudden. I had no idea what to say
"A Foot And A Half From My Genitals"
GiphyA friend in middle school accidentally kicked me in the balls, and they swelled pretty badly. This resulted in me not being able to walk properly. This worried my mom enough that she had the doc check my junk out.
This wouldn't be so awkward if he hadn't handled my balls and had his face like a foot and a half from my genitals. I was about 14 at the time, and not the "biggest" dude. That's probably the most awkward situation I've ever been in.
Caught Them Both Cheating
I caught my friend and his girlfriend both cheating with other people on separate occasions. I walked in on him and some chubby blonde girl bent over the toilet at a party - his girlfriend is a slim brunette. I walked in on his girlfriend with some black dude while I was visiting the two of them at their apartment. My friend is white and he was at work while his girlfriend was cheating. I promised both of them I wouldn't tell the other since that's not my place and I know their relationship is dysfunctional as f^ck.
The two of them started arguing one day over, surprise surprise, cheating. The both of them somehow caught wind that each other were cheating and they both started screaming at each other over it. I happened to be nearby so they both called me over. My friend said :
"Yo, you know this b!tch is cheating. Tell me who she's been f^cking!"
and she shouted:
"Don't listen to this as$hole. You know he's cheating on me. I know you've caught him before!" then pointed at me.
Neither of them knew that I had caught both of them cheating on each other.
I decided to maintain the middle ground and told them this wasn't my place to speak up. Then I quietly left while they continued to yell at each other. Knowing the two of them, an all out fist fight would have broken out between them so I decided not to say anything. They both ended up cheating on each other 2 more times, found out about both times and are still together for some reason.
Hacking
GiphyWas sent by my boss to some people she knew to help with "internet stuff."
I learned on-site they wanted me to hack into their 13-year-old daughter's Facebook account because they thought she was up to something.
"Just Wheeled Him Over"
GiphyI had to assist a friend of the family's grandfather with going to the bathroom. His daughter just wheeled him over to me and said "he needs to use the restroom" then left.
H/T: Reddit
Scientists Have Developed A New 'Planetary Health Diet' That Could Literally Save Lives And The Planet At The Same Time
In an attempt to help curb worldwide issues such as climate change, and malnutrition in poverty stricken areas, a joint commission by EAT, a non-profit seeking to transform the global food system, and The Lancet, an old and respected medical journal, has released a recommended guideline for dietary and planetary health.
The report recommends cutting back meat consumption to at most, a burger patty or equivalent a week, and supplementing your protein intake with nuts, legumes, and beans. An increase in veggies and fruits would make up the bulk of your meal plate.
The dietary guideline was established by a coalition of over 30 scientists, researchers, and doctors designed not just with human nutrition in mind, but also sustainability. With estimations that the planet will reach 10 billion people by 2050, scientists are working to figure out how to feed them all.
Additionally, the red meat industry has for a long time, been known to be a contributor to greenhouse gasses, while land conversion for food production is the greatest factor in biodiversity loss. The report from the EAT-Lance commission estimates that through nutrition and agricultural changes from this diet, we can save 11 million lives every year.
That sounds pretty great.
The EAT-Lancet commission lists very specific macronutrient ranges for their proposed diet, from 300g of veggies per day, to only 7g for red meats. However, it's this specificity that is drawing criticism.
John Ioannidis, the chair of disease prevention at Stanford university has praised the growing attention to how diets can affect the environment, but states the commission doesn't represent the scientific uncertainty between health and nutrition.
Dr. Georgia Ede, who writes for the site Diagnosis: Diet, took issue with the report's specific recommendations. Dr. Ede's website makes the case for low carb and paleolithic diets.
She points out the commission says,
"We have a high level of scientific certainty about the overall direction and magnitude of associations described in this Commission, although considerable uncertainty exists around detailed quantifications."
And yet, they recommend 0 to 58g per day of poultry, with a 29g midpoint. This seems very specific.
People are not willing to give up meat so easily.
Still, the report is a good starting point for the discussion we need to have about food's connection to not just our health, but the planet's well-being.
As Dr. Howard Frumklin, head of the Wellcome Trust which helped found the EAT foundation says himself,
"The links among diet, health and the environment are well-documented, but, until now, the challenge of attaining healthy diets from a sustainable food system has been hampered by a lack of science-based guidelines.
"While this report does not have all the answers, it provides governments, producers and individuals with an evidence-based starting point to work together to transform our food systems and cultures."
What should be a discussion is turning into an argument.
If we're going to be able to feed everyone, ensure their diet is nutritionally balanced, and try to curb climate change, it's important that people start talking about the positives and negatives of their current diet. The report provides a sense of context to which people can compare and share their ideas and study.
People Are Roasting Trump Over His Mind-Numbing Observation About The Wetness Of Water 😂
Donald Trump thanked the first responders who came to the aid of victims of Hurricane Florence. The storm devastated portions of North Carolina, dumping massive amounts of rain and damaging millions of dollars in property. Many natural areas were destroyed, some farmers lost everything and more than a few people have been left homeless. The first responders after this massive storm were literal life savers, and Trump was absolutely right to thank them. Unfortunately, the sentiment of his message was lost for many people because he didn't seem to put any effort or preparation into what he was saying. Then, in the middle of his off-the-cuff message, he confused everyone by talking about the wetness of water.
As Trump described the storm and the importance of first responders he told the world:
This is a tough hurricane, one of the wettest we've ever seen from the standpoint of water. Rarely have we had an experience like it and it certainly is not good.
The Tweet went out in the middle of the day on Tuesday, September 18th. At the time of this article, it hasn't even been up for 24 hours and already has over 13,000 comments. Many of them pointed out how Trump didn't even seem to try...
and how asinine his description was.
We don't know if Trump will continue to address the public by releasing these kinds of videos, or if they will continue to be as unrehearsed as this one is. We assure you, if they are, Twitter will have plenty to say about it.
H/T: Huffington Post, Twitter
Michael C. Hall Is Starring In A One-Night-Only Broadway Musical About Skittles—And No, We're Not Making This Up
Super Bowl Sunday: it's the only time when commercials are more popular than the show they interrupt. However, this year's best ad might not even be on TV.
Funny, irreverent, and sometimes controversial, Super Bowl ads have become as much of an event as the big game itself. Even those who don't watch football will tune in and watch as brands fight it out for the most talked about commercial of the year.
For advertisers though, getting your ad in front of one of the largest television audiences out there doesn't come cheap. A 30-second spot for this year could cost up to $5 million!
Candy maker Skittles decided to skip the Super Bowl and head for Broadway. For one-night-only, Skittles The Musical will appear on Broadway starring everyone's favorite serial killer, Dexter actor Michael C. Hall. No, we're not kidding.
The concept has so many people scratching their heads that Skittles needed to make another ad just to explain it.
Skittles The Musical ))) Starring Michael C. Hallwww.youtube.com
Anxious over appearing in the musical Hall sits down with a therapist, who like the rest of us is not exactly sure what it is. Hall explains the 30 minute advertisement is a real musical, you even have to buy tickets to go see it.
At one point Skittles even takes a self-deprecating jab at themselves and Hall, implying the musical is a terrible career decision.
After all, who is going to pay $207 a ticket to go see a 30 minute advertisement for Skittles?
A whole lot of people apparently
Tickets to the performance at the Town Hall theater in New York are almost sold out. People may not know what's going on, but they are ready to taste the rainbow.
@Skittles I’m ready! Purchased my tickets #SkittlesTheMusical— Corey (@Corey) 1548091647.0
@playbill @Skittles https://t.co/uo9aLkDV2f— robbie. (@robbie.) 1548135341.0
@playbill @Skittles My mind is blown and my heart is warmed. How fun! “Broadway the rainbow” indeed ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜— Allison Wonderland (@Allison Wonderland) 1548185407.0
If someone takes me to see skittles the musical I'll love them forever.— ☆Bambi☆ (@☆Bambi☆) 1548218569.0
On its surface Skittles The Musical may just look like an over the top gag from a brand known for its unusual marketing, but Skittles recruited some serious Broadway talent to put it together including playwright Will Eno and a cast straight from some of the biggest shows on Broadway.
According to Skittles the show will take "an absurdly self-reflective look at consumerism and the ever-increasing pervasiveness of brand advertising in our lives."
And if that wasn't enough Skittles will also be donating all the proceeds from the show to Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. Skittles parent company will match that donation up to $50,000. You had our attention Skittles, now you have our interest.
Wait so rather than spend a bucket load of 💰to take out a 30sec ad during the SuperBowl, @Skittles will present a L… https://t.co/OVnNQfQ506— Christopher D. Clegg (@Christopher D. Clegg) 1548096836.0
@cadimy @playbill @Skittles If you read the article, it addresses that they're doing a short show in lieu of a supe… https://t.co/3Hxm2lNLyI— a dope ghost (@a dope ghost) 1548094203.0
@lnternetqueer @playbill @Skittles well that's quite neat!— 🦇 (@🦇) 1548094980.0
There is no telling how a commercial/Broadway musical from the bizarre minds over at Skittles will turn out, but it's guaranteed to be an performace like Broadway has never seen before.
Kenan Thompson Just Hit The Ice With Other 'Mighty Ducks' Cast Members, And The Nostalgia Is Real Y'all 😍
A mini-reunion took place over the weekend, as actors from the Mighty Ducks film series met up at an ice rink in upstate New York. Afterwards, they attended an Anaheim Duck's game.
The nostalgia-fest started with Danny Tamberelli, who played Tommy Duncan in the first film, posting photos of the group to his Instagram.
They wore recreations of the bright green jerseys the team wore in the movie.
Watching them, you can almost hear the whine of your old VHS player.
@EW Luv this— christy hale (@christy hale) 1548122543.0
@EW https://t.co/qsDIs6qCFA— Edward Sanchez (@Edward Sanchez) 1548121751.0
There was a Mighty Ducks reunion at an NHL hockey game yesterday. Question of the day: Who watched the Mighty Duc… https://t.co/E2XfitCRBO— Ty Andrew Darbonne (@Ty Andrew Darbonne) 1548162147.0
I want to watch all the Mighty Ducks movies again after seeing the mini-reunion photos. https://t.co/R7YmvBhoXG— Sam (@Sam) 1548147775.0
He was joined by Kenan Thompson, Vincent LaRusso, Colombe Jacobsen-Derstine, and Garette Ratliff Henson. All five acted in at least one of the Mighty Ducks movies.
After the fun of skating around the ice rink, the group switched jerseys to the more modern Anaheim Ducks design. They wore personalized jerseys with the names of their characters on the back.
The Anaheim Ducks account posted about it on Twitter.
Some mighty great people joined us at today’s game! Some of your favorite Mighty Ducks visited us on Long Island a… https://t.co/k9g8iyWMAr— Anaheim Ducks (@Anaheim Ducks) 1548032893.0
People were tagging their friends to let them know!
@LissaBriana @movieweb Omg that’s awesome— Brittany S. (@Brittany S.) 1548112054.0
@kevinlembke @movieweb Lol yeah I saw. Ducks got shut out tho lmao— space oddity (@space oddity) 1548109701.0
The group got to watch a game the actual sports team started because of the popularity of their movie, played on Sunday against the New York Islanders.
The original film starred Emilio Estevez as Gordon Bombay, a lawyer charged with drunk driving, who has to perform 500 hours of community service. Because of his background as a child hockey star, Bombay is ordered to coach a peewee hockey team. While initially reluctant, he guides the misfits to victory.
Danny Tamberelli, Garette Ratliff Henson, and Vincent LaRusso starred in the first film, while Kenan Thompson and Colombe Jaconsen-Derstine were in the second.
It's unknown at this time why the group reunited, though some are speculating for a Superbowl commercial.
But we have to ask the real questions here.
Best sports movie reunion? RT for The Sandlot Like for Mighty Ducks https://t.co/QSsGmJcpkG— Adam Navarrete (@Adam Navarrete) 1548109324.0
And yes, obviously Estevez would return as an older drunker Gordon Bombay who now sharpens skates like my boy Hans— Scott Sweeney (@Scott Sweeney) 1548103145.0