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About an hour and a half ago I finally felt like an adult. Sure, I'm 36 and I have a few kids and I'm married and in the middle of a divorce - I've even hosted a holiday dinner or two! But up until today I have always felt like a kid just sort of making things up as I go. Winging it was the battle plan and there was no safety net to be found. We don't have college funds, we don't have retirement plans, we don't have wills or anything like that. What I do have, though, is the ability to say my dad just called and asked to borrow 20 bucks so he wouldn't have to drive all the way back home and get his debit card.
And I totally had it to give him.
That moment that makes you finally feel like an adult is different for everyone. One reddit user asked:
What was your "damn I'm not a kid I'm officially an adult now" moment?
Here are some of the answers that we felt the hardest.
Merry Christmas
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Yesterday, I was asked what I want for Christmas and I said groceries.
- tyrily
Last year, when my mom asked what my husband and I wanted, we told her socks. It was the second best Christmas gift she's ever given me, the best being a vacuum cleaner a few years prior.
A few years ago my mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I thought for a minute and said "a filing cabinet" - and I got that filing cabinet. It's really handy.
Sir...
I was running to the train station from college and I ran past an elementary school and I heard one of the kids yell "Sir, are you running away from the police?"
She even used the formal way of "you" that we use towards adults in the Dutch language.
Trolling Success
I didn't get a normal "welcome to adult hood" transition. My parents died when I was 16 and I inherited all of their adult problems.
When they died, I didn't even understand what a checking account was, but I was responsible for clearing up the estate, taxes, life insurance, transitioning my dad's health insurance to COBRA, their finances and debts, and figuring out what an estate is, how to file taxes, and what a cobra snake had anything to do with getting a doctor's appointment.
I ended up getting most of it under control after lots of googling and Yahoo! Answers because that was still a thing.
I was cutting my last 2 periods of school because I needed to go to the bank as well as meet with an attorney and accountant, who only worked during normal business hours. I got detention for cutting class...
The attendance office also use to call me, expecting it to be my parents, telling me my 'child' was late. I kept trying to explain it to them, but they never listened. Eventually I just started going with it. In the deepest country accent I could muster "He did WHAT!!! Oh don't you worry ma'em, I'll be sure to have a talkin' to him." Then I'd purposely miss the receiver when I hung up and yell "boyy, you get your butt over here, what's this I hear about you bein tardy. You be prayin to be back in school when I'm done with you." "No papa...not the" click.
Babies Change Everything
When I got married and fell pregnant. Now everyone talks to me about adult things. They also don't tell me what to do with my money or time anymore.
If a year ago I told my parents that I was saving for a cruise to NZ to see the shire from Lord Of The Rings they would have called me "childish" and "I'm wasting my money" But now it's for my family trip it's "cute" and "creating memories". It's weird man.
Ain't No Party Like A Grown Up Party!
Had a small get together with friends. I don't have kids, but a lot of my friends do.
Set the party time for 6, thinking no one would show up till 9. Bell rang at 6. 😬 (I wasn't ready)
Kids all over my house. Lugged out my rebounder and a bunch of my old toys that I had stuffed in the storage room, they had a blast.
Everyone was gone by 10, and my house was cleaner than when people came round.
Yep. I threw a successful Grown up party.
Adult Flu
I was really sick with the flu and there was literally no one there to help. Nothing worse than getting sick in your own place for the first time, and realizing you have to get out of bed and feed yourself if you don't want to starve to death.
- Foojira
Subway Shenanigans
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I was on a LA subway line and as we approached a station platform a tall homeless man was screaming and shaking his fists in the air. He whipped his head around and started making eye contact with the people on my approaching subway car.
Women and young students started getting uncomfortable and edging away from the open door. The homeless guy started walking toward us, and I noticed people glancing in my direction.
I was the man, and they were clearly looking for me to stand up and confront the situation. It really hit home for me at that moment. I wasn't a kid anymore.
Boot Camp
When I went to boot camp and realized that I couldn't run back to my parents without going to prison. Made my whole perspective change on life.
First Responder
I'm a teacher. My first year teaching there was a carbon monoxide incident in our school building. Somehow I ended up in charge of the kids showing side effects of the CO and assisting the first responders with getting the kids medical info. Before the first responders got there I remember looking around and thinking, there needs to be an adult in here and immediately realizing oh shit I'm the adult.
Pizza
When I could afford to buy pizza for breakfast, but decided not to.
- Rick0r
It's actually way better than you think. After a certain point most of the cocky shit you had at 19 is beaten out of you by life, and you learn to be responsible and compassionate.
But that's not everything and it's not even most things. There's tons of stuff you go, fuck it, I'm not doing that thing, because I'm a grownup. Or you decide you will do something.
My boyfriend ate over a mile of Fruit by the Foot in his late 40s. I have a pair of floral velvet boots. I just ate candy in bed. Being an adult is hard work but it is really rad once you embrace the liberating aspects of it. If you fight the maintenance and responsibility it will crush you but if you give into it, there's a vast upside.
Baby you're a...
Went to a fireworks store for the first time since I was a teenager. As a northerner where fireworks are illegal getting fireworks was the most awesome thing ever. Anyway I went in, looked around and didn't buy anything because all I could think of was the mess they make.
Swipe It
Signing up for my own grocery store club card so I'd use my phone number instead of my moms
I'm 25 and I use my parents' store cards because they can earn more points toward free stuff. They don't know I do this, but they've done so much for me that I feel it's the least I can do.
I've gone mad over grocery store rewards points, I'll swoop in with my card whenever I'm with someone who doesn't have one even if it's just for $3 coz 'EVERY POINT COUNTS!' Buying groceries yesterday and I noticed the girl in front of me had sneakily swiped her card on the screen as she was leaving after finishing her own transaction so she could take my points, but I shut that shit down straight away.
Mother May I
I'm a teacher. My first year teaching there was a carbon monoxide incident in our school building. Somehow I ended up in charge of the kids showing side effects of the CO and assisting the first responders with getting the kids medical info. Before the first responders got there I remember looking around and thinking, there needs to be an adult in here and immediately realizing oh I'm the adult.
My aunt (whom I always go to for financial advice as she is a retired loan officer) asked me to recommend a lawyer as my husband and I had recently used one for some inheritance matters. Just the fact that she needed/valued our opinion when hers is one I usually seek on those matters was really something to me.
Defender Of Innocents
I was on a LA subway line and as we approached a station platform a tall homeless man was screaming and shaking his fists in the air. He whipped his head around and started making eye contact with the people on my approaching subway car.
Women and young students started getting uncomfortable and edging away from the open door. The homeless guy started walking toward us, and I noticed people glancing in my direction.
I was the man, and they were clearly looking for me to stand up and confront the situation. It really hit home for me at that moment. I wasn't a kid anymore.
(Reality) Check Please
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When I bought a f*cking Mr. Clean magic eraser. When I went from thinking the world is a playground of fun to accepting that it'll kick your ass if you let it, and even sometimes if you try not to. When I saw Happy Gilmore on the Hallmark channel. When Toys R Us went out of business. When I pulled out my N64 and put Super Mario in, and a spider crawled out of the flap the game goes into.
Security Nets
Wife lost her mother and father recently due to cancer. I'm not close to my parents and when we lost them I realized it was just us. We both make good money but having them there was a security we definitely took for granted. Now we have to be the ones that have enough security if and when our kids need it. It's hard to explain but it's like a switch flipped on inside my head and that little bit of teen angst was gone. It was a totally weird process mentally not only being a husband and father but also becoming the patriarch of the family.
Sweet Relief
When I started letting out sighs of relief when I opened my mailbox and it was empty.
- gino4130
Mondays...
Last Monday I was up the entire night finishing a paper. I then drove 30 min to university and as I put my left foot on the ground and start to swivel my right side out, I slip on the ice and give myself my first black eye. As I laid there on the ground for a second all I could thing about was, " wow, this is my life now, this is what it means to be an adult.
The No-Break Lunch "Break"
When I had to figure out how I was going to run errands to places that are only open during bank hours when I work bank hours. Had to use my lunch break to go apply for a mortgage.
I'm The Most Qualified?
The time I was the most qualified person at work a couple of months ago. F*cking terrifying realizing I was the person who everyone turned to for help. Didn't help that it was one of my first shifts as a RN. Being both responsible for patients and the folks who worked with me. Thank God I'm going to another ward soon so I'll get to be only responsible for patients.
- Lafvuli
Caring For The Elders
Not when we got married, not when we bought a house, not even when we had a baby. When we moved my husband's mom in because she makes terrible life decisions and moving in with her son was her last resort. Then her dad, my husband's grandfather, moved in too. It took 32 years to feel like an adult, but taking financial responsibility for (inlaw) family members a generation or two ahead of you will do it.
WD40
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The door was squeaking, got the WD40 from the toolbox and fixed it. Mom was impressed Dad was proud , and that was the time I knew I'm not a kid anymore.
- jcgabest
Pots, Pans and Color Schemes
I'm getting pots and pans for Christmas and I'm gutted because i couldn't pick them out myself.
I haven't even moved in yet, haven't chosen a color scheme for the kitchen .
I didn't realize how much i wanted to pick out the pots and pans until, i got excited about picking them so told my Mum i was gonna look on Google/Amazon for a cool set and she said "oh no i think Santa might have already brought them."
That's code for "Your sister is getting you them for Christmas."
I actually felt heartbroken, and now I'm writing this realizing what a pathetic old adult I am moaning about pots and pans and kitchen color schemes.
No Permission Needed
I was in a pretty good job but still living at home with my parents, and I just decided to go on holiday. Without asking for either permission or money.
The Grumpy Man
Some kids were riding their moped around the car park for my old apartment block and making a hell of a noise.
Stuck my head out the window, asked them what they were doing and if they could do it else where.
Realised I was an adult when they thought they were in trouble and nervously stopped and tried to shuffle away. I was the grumpy man who stopped their fun 😞
- DinoEgo
"Mom, There's Nothing To Eat!"
The first time I looked in my refrigerator in my first apartment and realized I couldn't whine at my mom that there was nothing to eat in the house.
- readarly
The campaign is part of the Scottish government's One Scotland project in an effort to reduce hate crime.
"The provocative ads were produced by the Scottish Government and Police Scotland as part of the One Scotland campa… https://t.co/KjinQL9xXT— Lizanne Foster (@Lizanne Foster) 1537935300.0
One letter reads:
"Dear transphobes, do you think it's right to harass people in the street? Right to push transgender people around in clubs? Right to humiliate, intimidate and threaten them online? Well we don't."
"That's why if we see you doing harm, we're reporting you. We believe people should be allowed to be themselves. Except if they're spreading hate."
"Yours, Scotland."
(In another letter, the country says it has a "phobia" of homophobic behavior.
"If you torment people because of who they love, shout word that we are not going to write, or use violence because you don't like who someone is holding hands with, you should be worried."
"If we see or hear your abuse, we're calling the police. That's because love lives in this country, not hate."
"Yours, Scotland."
(One Scotland's website describes the organization as one that aims to continue building an inclusive society while recognizing the significant strides made so far towards equality.
"One Scotland embodies the inclusive society we want in Scotland, where equality and human rights are respected and every individual and minority group feels valued."
There is a new ad campaign against hate crimes in Scotland. “We are a caring nation, not a hating one”.… https://t.co/rfsiFjIq6V— Jen Yang Mezei (@Jen Yang Mezei) 1537975493.0
The website defines hate crimes as abuse that "can be verbal or physical and has hugely damaging effects on the victims, their families and communities, and we all must play our part to challenge it."
"Police Scotland takes hate crime very seriously. In the last year there were over 5,300 charges of hate crime reported to the Procurator Fiscal in Scotland1."
"However, there are many more incidents that go unreported. We all have a responsibility to report hate crime if we witness it – it's the only way we can challenge it, and put an end to it for good."
The fact that the Scottish government and police are behind this ad campaign is incredible. It's good to see at lea… https://t.co/zMrqDVrhed— TransgenderDate (@TransgenderDate) 1537900917.0
Justice minister Humza Yousaf is familiar with being a victim of a bigotry and is encouraging people to call out and report any incidents involving harassment.
"As somebody who has faced Islamaphobic and racial abuse over the years, I know how upsetting being a victim of hate can be. Hate crime and prejudice are completely unacceptable and we are absolutely committed to tackling it."
"We all have a role to play in stamping out prejudice and I would ask anyone who witnesses a hate crime to play their part and report it. Justice agencies such the police and Crown Office will deal sensitively with reports made and people should have confidence in how they will be treated. Last year there were over 5,300 charges of hate crime reported to the Procurator Fiscal in Scotland but there are still many incidents that are going unreported."
New Ad Campaign launching on billboards and ad spaces all over #Scotland tackles #hatecime. The Police Scotland a… https://t.co/VJFH0jprjP— Pinksixty (@Pinksixty) 1537896702.0
Henrietta Mochrie identifies as transgender and has been the victim of repeated harassment and abuse. She emphasized the importance of speaking out against the hatred.
"I'll often get street harassment, sometimes this has escalated to the point where I've been followed by people shouting abuse at me, just because of who I am."
"It makes me feel really down and scared to leave the house. It's important that if you witness hate crime that you report it to take a stand against hate."
One Scotland's ad campaign officially launched on Wednesday.
Hopefully, it won't take too long before other nations follow suit in this bold, yet necessary fight for equality.
H/T - OneScotland, PinkNews, Twitter
Twitter user @Rich_Cooper stated:
"Dear feminists. You either get equality or chivalry. You can't have both."
Dear feminists. You either get equality or chivalry. You can't have both.— Richard Cooper (@Richard Cooper) 1536083523.0
One user responded:
"I'll take equality. I don't need special treatment."
@Rich_Cooper #BenevolentSexism is still #sexism. I'll take equality. I don't need special treatment.— ☮️ Minkajane ☮️ (@☮️ Minkajane ☮️) 1537276790.0
Cooper's rhetorical question did not go over so well. Both women and men expressed their disdain for his message.
One male user observed that chivalry was irrelevant and treating everyone with kindness and respect was compulsory.
"What people care about is caring, empathic [sic], considerate, thoughtful people, NOT whether THEIR door is held for them or THEIR meal is paid for them."
"Are there gender stereotypes in het[erosexual] dating? Sure. But that's separate from being a warm, giving, caring, grounded person."
@Rich_Cooper What people care about is caring, empathic, considerate, thoughtful people, NOT whether THEIR door is… https://t.co/wlGHWRzKLi— Mark W. Wilson, MD (@Mark W. Wilson, MD) 1537276816.0
Some women got right down to the point.
@Rich_Cooper Translation: I will only be nice to you if you agree to be subservient to me— Elizabeth Noll (@Elizabeth Noll) 1537292709.0
@Rich_Cooper Gotta love when a man tells women what they can and can't have. Thanks for the heads up buddy 😉 https://t.co/gDMJscuTac— Hannah ✊ (@Hannah ✊) 1537285112.0
@Rich_Cooper Translation: I couldn’t possibly be expected to treat women as equals, show them respect, and still feel like a man.— Dom (@Dom) 1537293169.0
@Rich_Cooper We are sooooo bored with "chivalry" which stems from the courtly love period in the middle ages when w… https://t.co/wRho1a9DTz— Jeanthejust (@Jeanthejust) 1537280103.0
@Rich_Cooper Dear man. As a feminist, I open doors for men all the time. I also offer my seat to men in need on t… https://t.co/uxdwfh1kEM— My ovaries dream of puppers (@My ovaries dream of puppers) 1537502301.0
The notion of chivalry and equality are mutually exclusive and not a lot of people thought it was a major priority for feminists.
Common courtesy is not chivalry.
@Rich_Cooper Nah. That's some real childlike, oversimplified thinking. There are obviously more than these two op… https://t.co/lUqnEJhIAp— TheQuietRanger (@TheQuietRanger) 1537342901.0
@Rich_Cooper Wow, I had no idea that feminists were campaigning for chivalry, thanks for the Valuable Insight lol… https://t.co/iK62FTM9WY— Tracy Campbell the DM (Dungeon Mom) (@Tracy Campbell the DM (Dungeon Mom)) 1537294172.0
@Rich_Cooper I hold the door open for a guy walking into Starbucks behind me. Tomorrow, he might do the same for me… https://t.co/xWQEu6QHrM— Emma Scott (@Emma Scott) 1537294526.0
This user pointed out the fact that chivalry stems from a history of men outdoing other men. The concept had very little to do with women.
"Chivalry is a medieval concept of men dressing to impress other men. It has little to do with equality."
"Some men were on top, other men were beneath them. Historically, women were rarely invited into the process."
@Rich_Cooper @kent_imig Chivalry is a medieval concept of men dressing to impress other men. It has little to do wi… https://t.co/m8YPUkaUzm— Mark Findlay (@Mark Findlay) 1537257080.0
Neil Bradley described the outdated concept of chivalry as one that implies men being superior to women in a September 8, 2017, article for Medium publications.
"Examples: opening the door for a woman, paying for a woman's meal, gesturing for a woman to go first. The justification is either that women are not physically as strong (to open the door), able to provide (pay for their own meal), or are more deserving of compassion than men (allowing women to go first)."
Bradley also added that he wants to treat others the way he wants to be treated and asked if that approach should be motivated by chivalry or equality.
"If the genders are to be considered equal and treated equally, how a man treats a woman will essentially be the same as how a man treats a man."
"The obligation to open the door, pay for the meal, and let women go first vanishes. Men do not do this to other men, therefore why do it for women?"
His final take was that the two concepts can't co-exist. Either one is chivalrous or treats everyone as equals.
At the end of the day, people were happy to show chivalry the door.
@seanrmccauley @DoverCook @ShappiKhorsandi @Rich_Cooper @MarkFindlay26 @kent_imig Nobody needs chivalry. Equality a… https://t.co/isq5Fo84iU— John Dougherty (@John Dougherty) 1537357843.0
H/T - GettyImages, Twitter, Indy100, Medium
Hundreds of artists have signed a letter threatening a boycott if SiriusXM's parent company, Liberty Media, doesn't back down from opposing the Music Modernization Act.
The act, which was expected to pass through Congress, streamlines royalty payments in the new age of digital technology, but it seems SiriusXM is objecting to a small section that would have the satellite radio company paying royalties on recordings dating before 1972.
That's a whole lot of songs and a whole lot of money the company is hoping to skip out on paying, but not if stars like Paul McCartney, P!nk, Stevie Nicks, Sia, Carly Simon, Gloria Estefan, Mick Fleetwood, Don Henley, Max Martin, and Katy Perry can help it.
The letter read, in part:
I'm writing you with grave concern about SiriusXM's opposition to the Music Modernization Act (Classics Act included).
We are all aware of your company's objections and trepidation but let me say that this is an opportunity for SiriusXM to take a leadership position. As you are aware, 415 Representatives and 76 Senators have already cosponsored the MMA along with industry consensus. It's SiriusXM vs all of us. We can either fight to the bitter end or celebrate this victory together. Rather than watch bad press and ill will pile up against SiriusXM, why not come out supporting the most consequential music legislation in 109 years? We do not want to fight and boycott your company but we will as we have other opponents. Stand with us! Be brave and take credit for being the heroes who helped the MMA become historic law! Momentum is building against SiriusXM and you still have an opportunity to come out on the right side of history. We look forward to your endorsement but the fire is burning and only you can put this out.
SiriusXM resoponded with a letter of their own:
Over the past several weeks, we have been the subject of some stinging attacks from the music community and artists regarding our views on the Music Modernization Act. Contrary to new reports and letters, this is really not about a SiriusXM victory, but implementing some simple, reasonable and straightforward amendments to MMA. There is nothing in our "asks" that gut the MMA or kills the Act. So let's talk about the substance of the amendments we propose, because we truly do not understand the objections or why these concepts have incited such a holy war.ontrary to the accusations, SiriusXM has proposed three simple amendments to the MMA.
First, SiriusXM has asked that the CLASSICS Act recognize that it has already licensed all of the pre-1972 works it uses. This amendment would ensure that artists – the people who are supposed to be at the heart of the MMA – receive 50% of the monies under those existing licenses. Is that unfair? Just today, Neil Diamond wrote in the LA Times that: "I receive a small amount of songwriting royalties, but no royalties as the recording artist." How can that happen? To date, SiriusXM has paid nearly $250 million dollars in pre-'72 royalties to the record labels. We want to make sure that a fair share of the monies we have paid, and will pay, under these licenses gets to performers. Without this provision, artists may never see any of the money SiriusXM paid, and will pay, for the use of pre-1972 works. Artists not getting paid hurts our business!
Second, Sirius XM thinks that the fair standard to use in rate setting proceedings is the standard that Congress chose in 1995 and confirmed again in 1998 – which is called the 801(b) standard. However, we are willing to move the "willing buyer/willing seller" standard contained in the MMA. In exchange, we have asked for the same concession that the MMA grants to other digital music services, but we were left out of — simply that the rates that were set last year for five years now apply for ten years. We thought this was a fair compromise when we read the "new" MMA that was released this weekend by the Senate, and are willing to live by that compromise.
Third, SiriusXM is asking the simple question: "Why are we changing the rate court evidence standard for musical compositions in this legislation so that it gives another advantage to broadcasters over satellite radio and streaming services?" There is no policy rationale for this change to tilt the playing field further in their favor, and frankly no one has been able to explain it to us. It is only fair that we debate why the change to Section 114(i) is in the MMA.
Did you all catch that? It sounds like lawyer speak for "we don't really want to say where we stand."
It seems all the letters were for naught. The Music Modernization Act passed in the U.S. Senate.
The #MusicModernizationAct has been passed by the U.S. Senate! 🎶 Along with our members across the country, we're e… https://t.co/52yNhtV4zk— Recording Academy / GRAMMYs (@Recording Academy / GRAMMYs) 1537318533.0
@kayhanley @SIRIUSXM Hi @kayhanley, I absolutely support the #MusicModernizationAct. I signed on as a cosponsor ear… https://t.co/j4JHXpLBxI— Elizabeth Warren (@Elizabeth Warren) 1537225190.0
People said this was impossible. Some even worked hard to make it impossible, even telling outright lies about wh… https://t.co/iMTlwJLWVw— Future of Music Coalition (@Future of Music Coalition) 1537309844.0
We're thrilled to share that the Senate has unanimously voted to pass the #MusicModernizationAct, an historic miles… https://t.co/Uuy2Yp8zCw— ASCAP (@ASCAP) 1537311517.0
It was time to celebrate and dance in the streets.
@ASCAP @Beth_ASCAP Grateful. That says it all. Grateful past language for the sweet souls who worked so hard to mak… https://t.co/JSeUNCwFSd— Paul Williams (@Paul Williams) 1537319434.0
@ASCAP @Beth_ASCAP @IMPaulWilliams YES!!!! Songwriters are dancing everywhere!— James Grey (@James Grey) 1537315642.0
@ASCAP @Beth_ASCAP @IMPaulWilliams Thank you for helping us all organize to get this done #MusicModernizationAct— Tangent Recording (@Tangent Recording) 1537311639.0
@ASCAP @Beth_ASCAP @IMPaulWilliams Greatness Is What Greatness Does....And This Is Great.— Eddie C Person Jr (@Eddie C Person Jr) 1537365270.0
@ASCAP @Beth_ASCAP @IMPaulWilliams #Love it!— CKGTHEDON (@CKGTHEDON) 1537315443.0
@ASCAP @Beth_ASCAP @IMPaulWilliams Fantastic News! Thank You U.S. Senate ~> Pass it House Of Representatives ~> Sig… https://t.co/tukiZ8Ryug— MarkAlexanderCarroll (@MarkAlexanderCarroll) 1537321589.0
@ASCAP @Beth_ASCAP @IMPaulWilliams Simply amazing hard work pays off.— PedroBarr (@PedroBarr) 1537320953.0
@ASCAP @Beth_ASCAP @IMPaulWilliams Thank all of you for your tireless efforts and work.Protecting what is important… https://t.co/goFps7yu2V— Roney Hooks (@Roney Hooks) 1537317136.0
@ASCAP @Beth_ASCAP @IMPaulWilliams I am so thankful for this wonderful change. We songwriters deserve it!— J.R. FOWLER (@J.R. FOWLER) 1537322119.0
As the saying goes, honest pay for honest work.
