Valentine's Day is one of those holidays that messes with people. We know it's total marketing trash created as a way to sell us stuff we don't need. Roses die, diamonds are awful, stuffed animals collect dust and your dog's just going to eat the nose off of it anyway, and none of us need that much chocolate in one sitting - at least as far as our dentists are concerned. Still, if we don't celebrate it, some of us get really really salty.
That leaves people and their partners perpetually panicking. (High fives to me for that alliteration) Do we gift? Do we not? How much? What's appropriate? By the time we figure it out, it's often way late in the game - at least in my world. If you're like that, too - no need to worry. Reddit's got you covered.
Reddit user u/Top3GamesA asked:
Reddit, whats a good last minute idea for Valentines day?
Start taking notes, folks
Pictures
Serious Answer: print out some nice pictures of the two of you (throw them in some nice frames or a book for bonus points.) People so rarely have physical pictures nowadays and its nice to have something you can keep on your desk or something.
Also you can hide sh!t in the background of the pictures and wait to see how long it takes them to notice.
Something Personal
The best gifts are gonna be something personal to the person and not something generic. Maybe some of their favorite snack food, or make their favorite meal. Take them to their favorite restaurant or just somewhere sentimental to you both.
White Castle
Last year I was sick/injured and couldn't really do too much but the girl I was with suggested we go to White Castle and I was like "you're awesome! Hell yeah I'll go." And I was just gonna go through drive through but she said she called and made reservations like 2 weeks before and I was like "for white castle?" And I sh*t you not, there was balloons and numbers on the table and stuff and it was actually really cool. Plus who doesn't love those little delectable burgers?
Nothing...
Doing nothing........ no really.
Well perhaps not 'nothing', but the problem with Valentines day is everything suddenly doubles in price and/or is fully booked weeks in advance and I'm not just talking about restaurants. One of the greatest things you can do is go grab some food from the store and produce a home cooked meal for your SO and watch a film of questionable quality. Then throw on some Phil Collins and smoosh booties.
Sea Turtle Museum
A girl I have a crush on is really into marine life and the ocean in general. I wanted to take her to a Sea Turtle Museum.
- Onoh_9
Frozen Rose
The Ice Cream Rose in bucket
get a plastic flower pot, line it with foil or plastic wrap, fill it with cookies and cream ice cream, get a pack of oreos and crumble it, cover the ice cream with it, acting as dirt, and stick a long stem rose in the middle.
its a rose, and ice cream, and you did it yourself. Its fail proof.
Ladies Love Meat
Not exactly last minute, but I'm planning on making my wife a nice steak dinner. I'm going to dry brine ribeyes and reverse sear them, make roasted garlic mashed potatoes, roast asparagus, and serve it with a wine bottle that we got at our wedding. To finish I'm making a nice white cake from scratch.
Live And Learn
Back in college my now wife and I went out for a Valentine's dinner. It was a nightmare. We didn't really even have the money, it was packed with other 20 something year old couples. The entire thing was just shitty and unenjoyable.
The next year we ordered Chinese and smoked a blunt.
I'm 33 now, and have two kids, so a blunt would probably break my brain, but we still just order Chinese and relax.
TLDR: Pot, take out, pajamas. In a pinch, at least just the last two.
Lush
I got a photo frame that has room for 5 photos. I chose 5 of my favorite photos of us together and assembled them in the frame. Walmart usually has big teddy bears and chocolate, and don't forget flowers. Also if there is a lush nearby go there, the staff are excellent at helping you score brownie points.
A Die Hard Valentine's
My wife and I choose a department store like Target (though we're thinking of using a mall this year), go there together, and then spend a set amount of time (about 30 min) sneaking around trying not to see/be seen by the other as we buy gifts for them within our agreed-upon budget. Then we check out (again, don't get seen!) and meet up near the entrance to exchange gifts.
This works best when there is a coffee shop or food court in the location you choose to make the exchange more comfortable. It's fun because the limited supply of the store you are in makes it both harder and easier to choose what to get. The gifts are definitely secondary to the fun of playing around like a couple kids, and anyone at the store who asks what the heck we are doing is always really positive about it.
This has been our tradition for about ten years now and we look forward to it all year. It's like a hide and seek/Die Hard Valentine event.
The Hunt
Write 10 or 15 short reasons you love them on slips of paper, hide them in your house and send them on a scavenger hunt!
- livmight
Kendall Jenner Wearing A Massive Winter Coat Is Like Lenny Kravitz's Scarf 2.0 😂
We need more of this immediately.
We all love a good meme, and the best memes often imitate life. Model Kendall Jenner is the latest target of the Instagram account @itsmaysmemes, which photoshops celebrities in hilariously oversized outerwear.
At least it looks cozy...
Soon, Vogue France tweeted the image and all hell broke loose.
Winter is coming ! https://t.co/obJe6bO87B— Vogue.fr (@Vogue.fr) 1540199684.0
The caption reads:
"Winter is coming !"
Indeed.
People made their own versions.
@VogueParis @KendallJenner oh okay... https://t.co/Willu5LSlN— ًleah (@ًleah) 1540383130.0
@VogueParis @KendallJenner Fixed it! https://t.co/ThTnfVSfvk— sleepy jorge (@sleepy jorge) 1540480172.0
@VogueParis @KendallJenner https://t.co/p5CTJDEiqJ— Ty ©️ (@Ty ©️) 1540502215.0
Some compared it to other strange fashion choices we've seen over the years.
@VogueParis @KendallJenner https://t.co/hnLvEvRJAB— Bouzid Van Der Woodsen (@Bouzid Van Der Woodsen) 1540230561.0
@VogueParis @KendallJenner New couple with @LennyKravitz?? https://t.co/oCS3WAi3Xd— がんばれ! (@がんばれ!) 1540248515.0
@VogueParis @KendallJenner https://t.co/zAB6xKmu8T— TheBowLegg’dOne (@TheBowLegg’dOne) 1540471862.0
And there were those who had some pretty interesting ideas about what this looked like.
How your girl looks when she says she's cold and you give her your coat https://t.co/louipQI66k— Jack Skellington (@Jack Skellington) 1540405914.0
This is what P.E. teachers would be wearing during winter while shouting at students to stop complaining that it’s… https://t.co/5qDubio0mX— اليشبا (@اليشبا) 1540392391.0
Perhaps we loved it because it did seem just avant garde enough for Jenner to actually wear. Turns out we all can! Well, sort of. The jacket is a digitally enlarged version of The Super Puff jacket at Aritzia. Even the non-Photoshopped version looks pretty cozy!
H/T: Huffington Post, Twitter
George R.R. Martin Just Confirmed A Popular 'Game Of Thrones' Fan Theory About White Walkers
Game of Thrones scribe George R.R. Martin is promoting his new book in the A Song of Ice and Fire series, and provided insight into a group of characters fans have been waiting to learn more about.
As an author known to inject symbolism into the fantastical worlds he creates, Martin revealed that the icy group of White Walkers from Game of Thrones personified climate change.
What the ancient humanoid race of icy creatures stand for is a concept many have theorized all along.
Now fans received confirmation from the author himself.
Martin may have prognosticated climate change while he was writing GoT. The cold that transcends upon Westeros sounds eerily familiar.
"It's kind of ironic," Martin told the New York Times.
"Because I started writing 'Game of Thrones' all the way back in 1991, long before anybody was talking about climate change."
"But there is — in a very broad sense — there's a certain parallel there. And the people in Westeros are fighting their individual battles over power and status and wealth."
He added:
"And those are so distracting them that they're ignoring the threat of 'winter is coming,' which has the potential to destroy all of them and to destroy their world."
"And there is a great parallel there to, I think, what I see this planet doing here, where we're fighting our own battles. We're fighting over issues, important issues, mind you — foreign policy, domestic policy, civil rights, social responsibility, social justice. All of these things are important."
Martin continued:
"But while we're tearing ourselves apart over this and expending so much energy, there exists this threat of climate change, which, to my mind, is conclusively proved by most of the data and 99.9 percent of the scientific community. And it really has the potential to destroy our world."
"And we're ignoring that while we worry about the next election and issues that people are concerned about, like jobs."
Marten stressed the importance of caring for the environment, adding that protecting it should be a top priority.
"So really, climate change should be the number one priority for any politician who is capable of looking past the next election."
"We spend 10 times as much energy and thought and debate in the media discussing whether or not N.F.L. players should stand for the national anthem than this threat that's going to destroy our world."
When the author was asked if he could "pick the best real-world, present-day match — politicians, celebrities" and pair them up with corresponding characters from his novels, Martin answered: "Pass."
Fire and Blood: 300 Years Before a Game of Thrones, is expected to be released on November 20.
H/T - NYtimes, Twitter, Mentalfloss
This Brand's Tweet History Is A Hilariously Fitting Representation Of A Brand's Life Cycle 😂
Carl's Croutons tried their hand at social media to advance their brand.
But their objective got derailed when their tweet ignited a confusing thread that sent everyone down the rabbit hole.
@topherflorence captured highlights from the thread that received over three thousand retweets for its zaniness alone.
Can you follow?
the history of every brand on twitter somehow https://t.co/fWVXsElCvr— D🌑CFUTURE (@D🌑CFUTURE) 1540403954.0
The bread crumbs company endeavored to stir excitement for the brand by encouraging participation with the following tweet:
"Taking our first steps on the www!! tell us your favorite crouton recipes! #croutons #yum"
Harmless, right?
But somewhere along the way, the brand mixed business with politics. @religiousgames noticed that Carl's Croutons issued a one-word directive: vote.
The Twitter user asked, "What does it mean?"
@topherflorence What does it mean? https://t.co/IKifvva7ba— Vincent Gonzalez (@Vincent Gonzalez) 1540408943.0
Did the Carl's Croutons account manager get his social media account wires crossed? Possibly. But then we're not sure.
@topherflorence responded by saying, "lol that wasn't me i would posted something way dumber."
@religiousgames lol that wasn't me i woulda posted something way dumber— D🌑CFUTURE (@D🌑CFUTURE) 1540409220.0
The following tweet from Carl's Croutons attempted damage control:
"Carl's Crutons [sic] regrets the inappropriate tweet from earlier and we sincerely apologize to the people of The Republic of Malta."
So how did Carl's Croutons insult the Republic of Malta?
@topherflorence @oggborbis ...how did they insult Malta? I need to know.— astronaatti (@astronaatti) 1540405285.0
@Bestorb shed some light on why the Southern European island country may have been insulted by sharing a YouTube clip of episode 1008, "Final Justice," from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Did it have something to do with the country's dominant population of women?
@astronaatti @topherflorence @oggborbis https://t.co/9imm31y8cM— Nick Bestor (@Nick Bestor) 1540429565.0
The thread spun off in all different directions.
@topherflorence @xoxogossipgita laughing hardest at crouton recipes— super normal internet (@super normal internet) 1540492558.0
@topherflorence That last one is life 🙌🏽— Rich F. Santiago (@Rich F. Santiago) 1540418084.0
@topherflorence WOW this was a ride.— Jackal's Husband, Yuko (@Jackal's Husband, Yuko) 1540405005.0
@ItsBobberto @topherflorence @austin_walker Late stage social media.— Mr. Jackpots (@Mr. Jackpots) 1540435914.0
There were many takeaways from the esoteric thread, but the one directive really stood out.
@topherflorence @MaxKriegerVG Haha, you got me. But seriously, vote.— Benoit Doidic (@Benoit Doidic) 1540414697.0
@topherflorence @zoebread Clever girl. https://t.co/i5VB74s8F9— brott rambler but spooky (@brott rambler but spooky) 1540478919.0
@topherflorence @NoraReed This was a wild ride.— Queer Eye for the Animorphs Reboot (@Queer Eye for the Animorphs Reboot) 1540412903.0
@topherflorence @seangentille I’m experiencing a new level of cringe right now— Helle Hansen 🌸 (@Helle Hansen 🌸) 1540423182.0
@topherflorence @ZaaackKoootzer This is the greatest thing I've seen all day— your very own monica bellucci dream (@your very own monica bellucci dream) 1540406700.0
@topherflorence @spacetwinks Optimistic engagement. Regret. 'How do you do, fellow kids.' Unity through shared outr… https://t.co/6VGrLNPZVp— Ink-stained @ MFF 2018 (@Ink-stained @ MFF 2018) 1540405582.0
@topherflorence @spacetwinks 2 is where they decided to hire a social media manager. 3 is when they decided to hire a different one.— Ink-stained @ MFF 2018 (@Ink-stained @ MFF 2018) 1540412100.0
@LaserBlade @topherflorence yeah i actually think they're pretty good croutons but then again they pay me to say that— cool dog mowing lawn (@cool dog mowing lawn) 1540436982.0
@topherflorence @mattfx This is magically funny like Goofy doing an unannounced set in a small black room— M💎R (@M💎R) 1540482697.0
@topherflorence @ZaaackKoootzer This is the greatest thing I've seen all day— your very own monica bellucci dream (@your very own monica bellucci dream) 1540406700.0
There's still an unanswered question.
@topherflorence I need to know the Malta story tho— NeoSorosbot (@NeoSorosbot) 1540423045.0
So who is Carl's Croutons anyway? Nobody knows. Just vote.
Some Residents Of Uranus, Missouri Are Not Happy About The Name Of Their New Local Newspaper 😆
There's nothing like a good pun about human anatomy. Really gets the juices flowing!
The Uranus Examiner is coming to this Missouri town. Yes, really. https://t.co/RKy7kDcCFT— The Kansas City Star (@The Kansas City Star) 1536865442.0
Owners of the new Uranus Examiner must have been snickering as they announced the paper's name. Apparently, it's caused quite the controversy in the small town of Uranus, Missouri, over the last few days.
Residents are divided over whether the pun is an embarrassment or perfectly snarky:
“It’s a serious newspaper!” declares the managing editor of the Uranus Examiner. @nypost https://t.co/uig5eYxT2t— Bryan A. Garner (@Bryan A. Garner) 1537038088.0
Folks on the internet responded with maturity and composure after learning about the Uranus Examiner.
Oh, wait. No they didn't.
@qikipedia Uranus Examiner... it's got a nice ring to it 😀.— Roy Elliott (@Roy Elliott) 1537364058.0
I pitched “The Regina Monologues” as the name for my column at the Regina Leader-Post and was unceremoniously turn… https://t.co/aejjXcooWK— Jana G. Pruden (@Jana G. Pruden) 1536938407.0
If we ever colonize Uranus, the hardest part will be picked a newspaper name. "The Uranus Examiner"? Gonna be rough.— Scott Johnson (@Scott Johnson) 1537192690.0
@qikipedia How is it I've lived in Missouri my whole life and never gone through Uranus— Joshua Ryman, Sigma Grindcore Consultant (@Joshua Ryman, Sigma Grindcore Consultant) 1537366074.0
The newspaper name is a source of controversy — “Butt I like it,” the Uranus mayor said. https://t.co/xZWn4qthd1— Kaitlyn Alanis (@Kaitlyn Alanis) 1536865208.0
If you think about it... there might actually be a method to the madness here. The brand new paper's name has received widespread media coverage over this past week. Simply put... everyone's talking about Uranus.
In terms of publicizing their new venture, the owners of the Uranus Examiner have actually done a pretty sweet job!
In the video above, a woman suggests the paper should have been called "The Pulaski County Examiner."
If you ask me, that's TOTALLY BORING, and wouldn't have generated as much interest and publicity for the paper. So while the name might be cringeworthy to some, you can bet Uranus that it'll stick around. Who knows, Uranus might even grow as a result!
H/T: Indy100, The Kansas City Star