Labels are incredibly useful for things like organizing your canned goods, knowing what protein/marinade combo you've got in the freezer, finding the right haircare products - that sort of thing.
Not necessarily so useful or appropriate when it comes to human beings.
Reddit user UltimateDiscordMod asked:
"What do you hate being labeled as?"
So here's the thing - there are some labels people just flat out HATE.
Having no control over the way someone perceives you is irksome, at best. But in these cases it's something more.
Let's take a look.
Shy
"Shy. For the love of god stop labeling me as shy just cause I don't feel like talking to you."
- brisnoctis
"Came here to say this."
"I wouldn't mind being labeled as quiet, which is almost the same thing. But 'shy' often has a slightly infantilizing side to it. Like I'm some kind of scared cute little creature."
"There's really no need to talk to me like I'm a lost child at the supermarket, I'd just rather listen than talk right now."
"I also feel like once people have categorized me as shy, they assume I don't have anything meaningful to contribute to the conversation, and I feel like they're not really paying attention to what I'm saying when I do speak. Which is a shame because I really like to talk and give my opinion on things once I feel comfortable."
- migzard
Shy GIF
Giphy
Useless
"Useless."
"It's a word I've been labeled as multiple times throughout my childhood by certain family members. Absolutely ruined my self esteem."
- crowdfear
" 'Oh you aren't helping ME out with every little problem I should be dealing with!? You're useless!!!!!!!' "
"I hate that sh*t."
- Solitary_Stars
"Then again, it's not like you are an instrument or a tool to anyone."
" 'Useful' is not a term you'd want to use for humans, let alone 'useless.' "
- TreborNuh
Giphy
That Southern Sound
"When people hear my southern accent and learn I'm from Alabama, I'm automatically labeled as less intelligent."
- boadicea-h5
"I live in Florida and people sorta just invalidate the possibility of me having brain cells just because I'm a 'Florida man.' "
- PsychologicalArm8990
"Man I feel this one."
"I'm from a tiny mountain town in North Carolina and once, when I was describing my hometown, I was asked if I even went to school."
"I was like ???? Girl what! this isn't the 1800s."
- psb811
"I'm from West Virginia and once got a similar reaction from a girl that I was talking to from California. She was asking me if I could read and stuff like that, and had all this pity for me."
"When I explained that I went to school and could read she didn't take it as that just being normal, but that I had broken out of the stereotype and achieved something not many people do where I'm from."
"I was just like holy sh*t how are people this ignorant? lol."
- DevilsNDeepBlueSeas
wwe the wrestling album GIF
Giphy
Alcohol Issues
"Alcoholic."
"Haven't had a drink in 9 years. I'm a lot of other things beyond just a guy who once had a drinking problem."
"I don't know why for some people that's the centerpiece of my identity."
- boeheim03
"Well, in my opinion it keeps it real. I'm an alcoholic and part of that is knowing I can't drink because of my genetic predisposition, illuminated by my past is a powerful deterrent."
"It's when people forget how bad they got that they do it again. Just like the cycle of economic strife and the subsequent rise of populism nationalism and fascism."
"Revisionist history serves no one."
- ericdevice
"Dude same. My mom and brother are super into AA and the way they talk about me and my sobriety drives me nuts. AA people are actually the worst. And I say that as a former AA guy."
"I actually believe that sticking hard to that label (which is a HUGE part of AA recovery) keeps people sick, in a way, and prevents them from truly healing."
- Sentientdoing
Drunk Drinking Beer GIF
Giphy
Big Doesn't Mean Violent
"I'm a big person an people automatically assume that I'm aggressive and violent."
"I don't like having to explain that I have no desire to cause anyone pain, I feel like that should be expected of common people. I can't control how big I am, it's not an indicator of my violence level or anything like that."
- Aggravating_Bat1786
"I'm 7 foot 1 and am not a skinny dude. I'm also Black and I have a lot of tattoos."
"People will switch sides of the street when I'm walking down the sidewalk. But really I'm a gentle dude and I've never hurt anybody nor have any desire to."
"Sometimes it hurts my feelings but at the same time I get it."
- umbrella_CO
"There's a guy who works at my local dog shelter who looks like a hairless bear with more defined biceps."
"Nicest guy. Has my preferred breakfast saved for me whenever I'm late. Two small pups at home. Genuinely curious, thoughtful, progressive, insightful, and articulate."
"Looks like a Rocky villain. Or a Mortal Kombat character."
- Lucky-Definition-189
Animated GIF
Giphy
Pants On Fire
"A liar."
"Trust is the most important thing to me, and I make a point of being honest. When someone goes off on me and calls me a liar (either to cover their ass or just because they do not want to admit their data is inaccurate) it is deeply insulting."
- 8dogsinatrenchcoat
"This, this right here."
"It quickly leads to a short fuse for me because I also make a point to be honest. I've stopped talking to many people because they're pathological liars, blatantly."
"I've been told I'm 'too honest' whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. To call me a liar is wild."
- Simpl3Nik
"I once been called a liar/cheater by a high school teacher. The sole argument and evidence was that they believed I couldn't have realistically done that great on the assignment."
"I had to argue with her for 15 minutes that it was, indeed, possible for me to achieve success."
"Made me hate being labeled as a liar as well as a loser."
Kristen Wiig Wow GIF by Where’d You Go Bernadette
Giphy
- ExWeirdStuffPornstar
"I feel the same, but for a different reason."
"I was a liar. I grew up in a situation that pushed me to lie to protect myself."
"As a teenager and young adult I lied a lot. About anything and everything. To everyone, myself included. I believed some of the lies, I told them so much."
"Toward the beginning of my current relationship, I realized that I wanted to be honest with my partner. I started trying not to lie to her, and coming clean when I did."
"Through this, over the first couple of years of our relationship, I kicked dishonesty. The desire to lie to protect myself is still there sometimes, but I'm conscious of it and I do not lie anymore."
"Being called a liar now irks, because I've put forth (and continue to put forth) so much effort to be honest, something that is genuinely difficult for me sometimes. With one little word, a decade of concentrated effort can feel invalidated."
- Darkhymn
"It's funny because the people who hate being called a liar the most are either honest Abes or mind-numbingly conniving sociopaths."
"I had a close friend who scammed me for thousands of dollars via lies. He had this almost-famous phrase he was always saying:"
" 'I've got thick skin. You can call me a lot of things and I won't care. But if somebody calls me a liar I won't take that. I'm always getting in trouble because I tell it like it is so I won't be accused of being a liar.' "
"Turns out he's a heartless con man so people calling him a liar is bad for business."
- lasertits69
"My ex had a similar stance on this."
"Which would have been fine except for the fact that she was a compulsive liar. It made it incredibly difficult to approach her about something she lied about."
"Crazy right?"
- Classssssic"
People Break Down The Nicest Celebrities They've Ever Met | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
They always say, "don't meet your heroes." But here's the thing, sometimes your celebrities are actually just chill, normal people who are overjoyed to meet ...Casual Racism = Racism
"Different from most Black people or pretty for a Black girl."
"My little sister gets that a lot. She'll say something awful back like 'I got lucky, my mom is light skinned.' "
"What's sad is some people still stay clueless that she is sarcastically pointing out the racism and agree with her!"
- Pscilosopher
"I feel this so f*cking hard. I also get 'one of the good ones' and 'you talk white' a lot too."
- ImJadedAtBest
Thats Racist GIF
Giphy
"This would describe how everyone always seems to describe me. They always act offended when I tell them I find it insulting and nonsensical."
- mrockracing
"A friend of mine posted about how much he hates it when people refer to him as being the whitest Black guy they know and thinking it's a compliment."
"It clearly implies that there's something wrong with being Black. Things like that are not uncommon and really shows how ignorant people are when it comes to race."
- LobotomistPrime
Physically Small Doesn't Mean Emotionally Small
"I hate being labelled cute when I'm angry and having my feelings completely invalidated because of things I can't control like my stature and appearance."
- milkywaymistress5
"This sh*t irks me."
"It stopped me from getting a few jobs that I really wanted because people didn't take me seriously. You've really gotta prove yourself when people think you're just 'small and cute' and nothing more."
- Own-Researcher-5507
"I felt that. I'm rather small and I have this young looking face that make people think I'm just sooo cute and adorable."
"My sister is taller and has a more adult face. We can have the exact same angry behaviour/reaction to something and we get completely different results."
"She has her concerns considered and addressed whereas I am dismissed or infantilized."
"If I get angry I'm either 'cute' or brushed off because 'How can such a small thing be so angry?' "
"Actually, that's the attitude with every emotion. As if being physically small makes your emotional range smaller."
- Ledifen
tinkerbell GIF
Giphy
Living In Japan
"A weeb."
"I've lived in Japan going on 30 years and never had the slightest interest in anime. In the early 90's it hadn't reached US shores yet."
"The real boom happened around 1996 or whenever Pokemon hit North America and the internet fueled a thermanukular asplodey of nerdity after that."
"Until then, it was small quiet enclaves of Studio Ghibli enthusiasts, but now you have entire sections at Barnes & Noble and cable channels dedicated to it, and good Lord did it bring the tourists vaulting over the turnstiles in crazed cultural consumption sprees. And blah blah blah."
"A quarter century later I can casually mention where I've lived for over half my 51 years and nearly always get a response containing some obscure Martian J-pop-culture reference I have no idea how to form a conversation around."
"I came to Japan for a reason and anime ain't it. I was looking for a job in the budding IT industry, not a waifu."
- the2belo
Pokemon Taking GIF
Giphy
"This one!"
"I have a masters in Japanese history and lived there on an off for years. I do watch some anime but not very much. I specialized in pre-modern history, my nerd specialty is gender performance in Kabuki, not animation."
"I'm not weeb, I'm a historian. I still jokingly call myself one sometimes though…"
- ParadoxInABox
"Picky"
"Picky."
"I am an grey romantic asexual person which means I don't experience sexual attraction and I rarely experience romantic attraction."
"I'm in my late twenties and I've definitely been romantically attracted to one person, not so sure about the other two people. It's a maybe? It's unclear."
"For me being 'picky' is having people you are attracted to and finding faults with them. Whereas I go on dates and meet lovely people but I ultimately feel nothing for them."
- DuckiesBeDamned
Twd Nothing GIF by The Walking Dead
Giphy
Booked Seats Don't Mean Racism
"I was accused of being racist at work (flight attendant) recently."
"An Indian family had booked the last row and were sat together. The passenger in front had two seats booked for him and his partner and they chose to lay down together on their seats."
"Said family at the back accused me of being racist because I wouldn’t force the couple to move out of their booked seats so the family could lie down instead."
"I completely understand that there is a huge issue with racism, but it’s definitely not something to hide behind to try to get your own way."
- jack172sp
hasan minhaj no GIF by Patriot Act
Giphy
Don't Throw The Label Around
"OCD."
"Society throws around this label waaay too much. I don’t have OCD because I like to keep my house clean or color-code my clothing."
"A close friend of mine suffers from severe OCD and it’s a LOT different from what society labels it as."
"Someone being neat is one thing, but OCD isn't something to be made light of. It's a serious struggle."
- Curlyhairdontcarex
Clean Up Cleaning GIF by Bear Hands
Giphy
Homeschooled
"I was homeschooled up until college."
"A lot of people assume I have a disorder (autism downs etc.), that my mom taught me sex Ed the 'intimate way,' or other generally stupid, disgusting, or ridiculous thing about me being weird."
"The only mental issue I have is occasional depression (just like everyone else) and I missed out on some phrases that were popular as jokes for people in middle school."
"I’m introverted but I socialize well do well in my engineering classes and have a normal relationship with both parents. I'm no weirder than the rest of you."
- dalawre
weirdos GIF
Giphy
Combat Sports
"People assume I think I'm some badass bro or hardo because I do combat sports. I hate that."
"I'm a f*ckin neeeerrrrrd. I can blather on and on about fighting technique the same way I can blather on about Warhammer."
"The sports I like are just one more thing to geek out on."
"Don't think for one second that I'm willing to fist fight someone over liquor induced drama either. I don't wanna get stabbed, shot, arrested or kicked in the head by a friend of the person I'm fighting."
"I hate confrontation. If I get in a situation, I'm dropping to my back."
- liquorlanche617
Muhammad Ali Boxing GIF
Giphy
I'm Not 5
"An autist or autistic."
"Though not inaccurate as I have high functioning Aspergers, the way people treat autism like a disease that needs to be cured, or make it clear they think I'm completely incompetent by treating me like I'm 5 is flat out insulting."
"Many people often guess that I'm on the spectrum and either treat me like I'm a toddler or try to sell me on bullsh*t 'cures' for all sorts of diseases while painfully emphasizing the part about autism."
"I don't need to be 'cured.' Stop doing this to people."
- Some_Tiny_Dragon
Eyeroll Reaction GIF
Giphy
I Just Have Bad Eyesight
"A geek or nerd."
"I have a huge respect for geeks and nerds, but I’m not one. Honestly, I’m pretty sure geeks and nerds would be dishonored to have someone like me associated with them."
"I’m only labeled as a geek or nerd because of the fact that I wear glasses. Which I only wear because I have bad eyesight. I’m not even smart."
"But yeah it gets annoying."
- VoiceOfNoOneNNN
Glasses Seinfeld GIF
Giphy
Personally, I relate HARD to the cute one. I'm (well) under five feet tall and I'm often dismissed as cute rather than having my concerns actually addressed if I'm dealing with someone in person.
I've been working on the internet since 2009, in part, to avoid dealing with it. And the petting. People would CONSTANTLY pet me like I was the office mascot.
I'm older, wiser, and way less shy about speaking up now, though, so I don't imagine things going down the same way if I ever go back to office work.
But please don't make me go back to an office.
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Teachers are meant to impart knowledge to the next generation, but they have to get the kids to pay attention first.
Not an easy task.
So many, too many schools are plagued by kids who have no self-control.
Teachers end up playing referee, counselor, and parent in addition to their teaching role.
All of those additional hats don't come with any additional pay.
It's no wonder we're in a teacher shortage.
Redditor _Planet_Mars_ wanted the teachers out there to share some rough student stories, so they asked:
"Teachers, what is the worst thing you've seen a student do?"
I once saw a kid drive their car into the school office.
They were drunk.
Thankfully no one was injured.
POP!
"The was a loud pop and a flash in the back corner of the classroom. I asked the student sitting there what happened. She said it was firecrackers. I sent her to the office. While she was still in the office, I realized the electrical outlets in the room didn’t work. At that point, another student fessed up that the student sent to the office had put a pair of scissors in the outlet. I’m not sure why that student thought it was better to lie and claim she was doing fireworks inside the school?"
mynamelessname
Pain
"When I was teaching preschool, I had a little girl, between 3-4, walk up to another girl who was sitting on the rug reading a book, grab her by the hair and slam her head into the wall. They hadn’t been interacting in any way prior. When I asked her why she did it, she said she 'wanted her to know it hurts.'"
No-Doubt-8748
That Kid
"A different type of bad than most of these."
"I was a teacher at a poor inner-city school. I had a lot of wonderful students but some difficult ones. One was the worst — bright but was always sleeping through class and acting up and never doing homework. I lived about 30 minutes away. One night, I stopped by the local Wawa after a night out with friends. Was at least 11:30 pm and I was already dreading the early morning drive to school. And who should be checking me out but my own 'problem' student."
"He was working late to make money for his family and then getting home at 1:00 am or later before heading into school on 4-5 hours of sleep. He was a smart kid. Really smart. I hope things worked out for him but I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if he’d been allowed to have a childhood and focus on his education."
Low_Cartographer2944
Blame the Heat
Sweating James Mcavoy GIF
Giphy
"It gets very hot here in the warmer months and so the school put out those big containers for water for everyone. Well, one student was caught peeing into a bag and dumping it into the containers."
huzzahserrah
Some kids really need some deeper therapy.
Peeing in bags? Seriously?!
From Beneath
"My wife is an elementary teacher and has a kid this year that likes to slip under their desk and lick toes (we live in a warm state) and they all think he will grow up to be a creeper."
CherryManhattan
BOOM
"This was the worst thing I know of that happened at my high school."
"Someone brought a blasting cap to school (OK, that's a bit dumb), and flushed it down the toilet (that's REALLY dumb). Then told a teacher about it, because maybe it wasn't such a good idea (their best idea that day, really)."
"Wound up with that restroom being taken out of service while the fire department x-rayed the plumbing to find and remove the (admittedly tiny) explosive. Took several weeks before it was back in service."
gogstars
Sad
"My favorite teacher in high school was a very kind a lenient man. Do your work, be respectful, and follow the major school rules and you and him would be cool. The one thing that would seem minor, but that he was very strict about was taking any medication in any way shape, or form in his classroom."
"One day, I needed to take some Advil for cramps and asked to take it. He said I needed to go to the nurse for permission. I ended up asking him why he was so strict about it. it turns out, he had a student pass out in class one day at his former school. He tried to wake her up and called the nurse, but she wouldn't wake up. They called 911 and by the time they got there, she had died of an OD on narcotics she took in the bathroom that she had hidden in a Tylenol bottle. I don't know how he went back to teaching after that."
musical-nerd24601
Painful
Moving Season 2 GIF by Paramount+
Giphy
"Saw a 4-year-old purposely push a piece of furniture over onto another 4-year-old at preschool. It actually really hurt the other kid, and her parents took the school to court."
MPD1987
Kids are brutal.
No wonder people home school.
Buying a home is a daunting task, but it comes with the comfort of finally having a place to call your own after the lengthy process of purchasing.
One of the things new homeowners look forward to is renovating certain areas of their newly acquired domicile.
However, embarking on this next phase of making a home their own can come with some surprises.
For example, doing a gut reno in the basement or tearing down a non-load-bearing wall can unearth unusual relics left from the previous homeowner.
These discoveries can either be treasures, or something very unpleasant.
Curious to hear from new homeonwers, Redditor Oblivious_Dude14 asked:
"People who bought a house. What is the weirdest thing you have found left by the previous owner?"
These will spark curiosity about former occupants.
Hidden Message
"First time I took a hot shower in our new home. The steam covered the mirror, only to reveal the phrase 'HELLO, I SEE YOU' in large finger drawn writing."
"It freaked me out for a second, but made me laugh soon after that."
"It was such an inconspicuous yet obvious thing to leave for the new homeowner (me)."
– Individual-Common-89
A Special Request
"It's not really weird but I think it's kind of a nice story."
"One of the kids' rooms has a shelf going all around the top edge, and when my kid was putting stuff up there they found a letter from the previous kid. The letter welcomed them to the room etc and asked them to take special care of a rose bush in the front yard that was their special rose bush. My kid thought it was really cool to have that connection with the previous kid."
– catsaway9
Instructions
"Not really weird but they left a typed out and printed note about the house and how to take care of it. Detailing all the plant life in the backyard and how to prep for the winter. Described how to take care of the hot tub and gave random tid bits about the electrical."
"They were good people lol."
– pet_zulrah
Theses secret chambers piqued Redditors' curiosity.
Secret Dwelling
"Not my house, but the school my friend worked at."
"A pipe had leaked and ruined a wall in the building, one of the oldest schools in the city. It was a beautiful property. Anyways the pipe leaked so they pulled down the ruined wall and behind the wall found a door."
"A fully furnished apartment was there. Had a coal burning stove to heat it. Early 1900s appliances and decor. It was for the caretaker of the school."
– Used-Stress
Antique Showroom
"My ex-wife's family knocked down a wall in a 400-year-old house in Cornwall, and found a perfectly intact bedroom from the 1800s, still with all the personal effects where they had been left."
"Nobody knows why it was boarded up, or why things weren't taken out of it."
"Oh, and that house always appears in the guides for the most haunted locations in Cornwall, if you believe that kind of stuff."
– ledow
A Medieval Theme
"A basement room that was fully decked out as a 'dungeon.' Faux stone walls, a stocks (like where you lock your head and hands in ala ye olde England), candle scones on the walls, a metal-barred cage in the corner from floor to ceiling. Oh and the closet had a load of toys, some normal, some....not so typical."
– DisIsDaeWae
These Redditors got a glimpse into past lives.
Family Treasure
"Before I met her, my wife got a call from someone she worked with saying they'd just bought an old house and in the city, and in it was a steamer trunk with her family name (not a common one) carved into the woodwork on one end."
"As it turns out, it was the trunk that her great grandfather used when he came over from Germany, and it made the trip to my wife's hometown when he met her great grandmother on a visit, and subsequently moved to her city to marry her. We now have it and it's full of family portraits and albums."
– LateralThinkerer
Vintage Trickster
"My first house purchase in 2005 - bought an old farmhouse that was built in 1923. The basement was FILLED with crap - we told them they needed to clean it all out before closing, but they didn't do it. The realtor asked if we wanted to postpone closing, and we decided no - some of the stuff looked interesting enough. Maybe it will be worthwhile to go through."
"Most of it was just junk. Then, about half way through (we were working our way from one end of the basement to the other, because you could barely walk through), I went to pick up what I thought was a small box, only to quickly realize it weighed at least 75 pounds. Upon further inspection, it wasn't a box, but a wooden square, 4' wide and about 12'x12', with two thin masonite plywood covers on each side. On one edge were two bolts with wires coming off that had been cut."
"Very strange - had no idea what it was, but thought it was interesting. So I put it aside and we kept going. At the very back of the basement once we cleared everything else out, was a rickety gray cabinet, built into the house. Inside, were numerous strange small tools, vials of mercury, vials of a strange powder, and thousands - literally thousands - of dice blanks. Some actual dice, but mostly blanks without the dots. they were all in little boxes labeled 'dice blanks'. Also very strange..."
"Not too long after that, I met a guy and upon learning my address, he said 'can I come over?My best friend grew up in that house'. He came by, and proceeded to tell me stories for an hour and a half about his childhood best friends eccentric father: Someone who was a part of the 'Dixieland Mafia' in the 60s and 70s, and who made a living traveling around the US as a traveling gambler. The enormously heavy box was an electro-magnet. And the dice blanks were for him to make his own loaded dice with a little bit of metal powder under the inlaid dot, so he could set up his own table with the the electromagnet underneath, and turn it on when he wanted to persuade the dice. He told me many other stories, including that there was 'no doubt in his mind that he had killed someone'. Pretty fascinating."
– GIjokinaround
A Soldier's Story
"A diary of an American soldier in WW-II, South Pacific Theater. Found it above a door when remodeling 20+ years ago. My wife and I tried everything we could think of to find a descendant, but to no avail."
"UPDATE: I just posted photos of it with the person's ID info on r/WorldWar2."
"Last Update: Thanks to all the help from this community, and those at r/worldwar2, this diary is now in the hands of its writer's son who came to my office this morning to retrieve it. I am so thrilled to have been able to facilitate this!"
– Factsaretheonlytruth
These folks really hit the jackpot.
Forgotten Stash
"$1200 in cash above the door on the inside the closet. I found it while painting."
– whymetoo
They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To
"A glass bowl. It was kind of pretty, with horizontal blue stripes."
"We kept fruit in it. We thought about dropping it off at the local charity shop, but never got around to it."
"Then one day I was at an antique fair and I saw for sale glass bowls that looked almost identical to ours. I went home to get my bowl and brought it to be assessed."
"Turns out it was a vintage Orrefors crystal bowl. The assessor valued it at around $800."
"We no longer keep fruit in it."
– khendron
When my great aunt passed away, our family went over to her and her husband's home in Pomona, CA to clear it out in preparation to sell.
They emigrated from Japan in the late 1930s and brought with them many decorative figurines, sculptures, and wooden carvings from the homeland.
One of the pieces was a kabuki doll on a wooden base. As we were placing the item in a box, a tiny envelope that had been taped underneath the doll's base came loose.
I opened it and found what looked like instructions for something. I kick myself to this day that I didn't keep the letter and never bothered asking my parents what the note said as we were frantically trying to empty the house.
But man, my imagination ran wild. Was it a treasure map? Who knows. I still wonder to this day what the note said and tossing it aside remains one of my life's greatest regrets.
Reddit user mariababexoxo asked:
"'Never confuse education with intelligence; you can have a PhD and still be an idiot,' stated Richard Feynman. What are some real-life examples of this?"
Chemical Engineer
"I had an intern with a PhD once. She was trying to be a chemical process engineer. VERY book smart."
"I spent the Summer teaching her how to use basic tools like screwdrivers and wrenches for simple tasks like opening containers and adjusting clamps. She had zero practical skills and couldn’t figure anything whatsoever out on her own."
"She’d get lost in a building and call me and I’d tell her to find the exit, but she’d get lost inside and we’d have to go in and get her. This routinely happened, and she would just find somewhere random and sit until we collected her."
"When her car’s GPS lost signal once she didn’t know what to do so she stopped in the middle of the road and texted me where she was and that there was something wrong with her car and to come help. I figured there was a breakdown or something based on the text and drove out to check on it because she wasn’t responding."
Giphy"She was crying sitting on the side of the road and a cop was yelling at her to move her car which was still in the lane."
"If you told her to pick something up from a store she’d ask where it was and if you didn’t know, she would never find it "She refused to ask an employee because she knew they weren’t as smart as she was."
"She’d just walk in random directions looking for things. For example if you said 'go to Walmart and find some work boots because you lost yours' she would send me pictures of random aisles in Walmart with 'is this close? which way from here?'.”
"Book smart but utterly dim."
~ captainofpizza
It's The Milk That Makes Them Healthy
"My wife once had a roommate who was working on her PhD."
"At one point she went on an Oreo diet because they're vegan."
"She was later surprised to find her health wasn't improving."
~ educational_palmeira
GiphySquirrel!
"I am a graduate student at the University of Oxford."
"I recently had to explain to another grad student the concept of animals hibernating. She's British and English is her first language, so it wasn't a vocabulary issue. She just didn't know that animals did that."
"When I explained it she said 'Oh! like squirrels!' Squirrels actually don't hibernate, but I just nodded."
~ slider501
Have You Tried Turning It Off...
"Ask literally anyone who's ever worked for a university's IT department. I've never met a group of people more unwilling to learn anything new—outside of their small specialization—than university professors."
"These people would rather argue with you for 10 minutes that 'I did restart my computer' than just spend the 2 minutes to restart the computer when the logistics software is showing the machine with a 45 day uptime and all of us can see that sh*t."
"Department heads do this."
~ Mammoth_Clue_5871
GiphyIt's One Banana, Michael
"My roommate in college was/is an academic genius, 35 ACT in med school right now."
"I brought him to Walmart with me because he wanted to buy an 8-pack of Gatorade. At the self checkout he scanned one, saw the price was 7 bucks, and decided that must have been the price for EACH Gatorade."
"He ended up scanning the pack 7 more times and paid 56 bucks for some Gatorade, all while thinking that was a fair price."
~ Royal-Character-2035
And Vampirism!
"The nurse I used to work with during the pandemic was constantly bragging about how rich and important and highly educated she was.
"Only for her to suggest to our director of nursing that the kitchen start putting extra garlic in everyone's meals because garlic cures COVID."
~ GlassPeepo
GiphyHistory ≠ Geography
"I know someone with a PhD in History who went to the Caribbean with only long trousers and jumpers/sweaters to wear."
"He was so hot he had to cut his jeans down to shorts."
"Then, as part of the same trip, he went to Washington DC, and had to wear jean shorts the whole time because he cut up all his trousers."
~ RexEverything_
And On The 7th Day...
"I met a PhD molecular biologist who was an evolution denier. I found out years later that he was somewhat infamous."
~ whittlingcanbefatal
"I’ve met two PhD students who worked on bacterial evolution and one who worked in biochemistry."
"All three believed that human evolution was not a thing, all three were religious."
~ D-g-tal-s_purpurea
GiphyNobel Disease
"There are a ton of laureates that go conspiratorial batsh*t later in life."
~ hacktheself
"Kary Mullis is the worst one and he really emboldens other conspiracy theorists."
"He won the Nobel prize for helping invent the PCR test... then he denied AIDS existed while in a government position leading to 330,000 deaths and said climate change wasn't real because his astrologer told him so."
"Oh, and ghosts."
"Anti-vaxxers love him."
~ AstonVanilla
Members Around The World
"Heard about a mechanical engineer who is a flat earther."
"So yeah, him, or any engineer, physicist, or astronomer that believes in that."
"The fact that a single one can get their degree and then turn around years later and believe in something fundamentally incompatible with the BASIC physics required to make sense of their degree is baffling."
~ QuanticWizard
GiphyWhat Did They Do With The Couch?
"Helped some mates move house. One was a Uni Student doing a double degree in Computer Science and something else very challenging."
"While we were packing boxes he asked if he could could borrow a saw. When I asked why, it was so he could shorten the legs on the dining table so it would fit out the door."
"The look on his face when I grabbed one of the legs and started unscrewing it was priceless. As was the look when I asked him how he thought they got it in the room in the first place."
~ cruiserman_80
New-Fangled Gadgets
"In my old university in Germany in the early 2000s. The university was old, really old."
"And when I started they just began modernising the lecture halls etc... The German department got a new, fancy, state of the art lecture hall with any kind of technology you could wish for."
"The professors got extensive training on how to use it."
"There were some of them who after three months still didn’t know how to switch on the lights. Don’t even talk about the microphone or how to open and close the blinds on the skylight."
They didn’t originally plan on having an old-fashioned overhead projector there, but after a few weeks they relented and provided one because the professors didn’t know any other way."
"In their defence, the other lecture halls were so old that they still had the hole for the ink well in the tables."
~ moosmutzel81
GiphyDo No Harm
"I work in mental health and have known sooo many healthcare professionals with advanced degrees who I wouldn’t trust to take care of a goldfish and can’t believe counsel people on a regular basis."
~ DeadSharkEyes
What's That Burning Smell?
"My MIT PhD. friend complained his dryer was taking forever to dry his clothes."
"I asked him if he was cleaning the lint trap—'it doesn't have one'."
"Spoiler alert: it did have one, way in the back and I took out a sweater's worth of lint."
~ arbiterror
GiphyIt's Not Rocket Science...
I chuckle whenever someone uses this saying to indicate something isn't complex like rocket science ever since my friend became an aeronautical engineer.
Why?
Well, we'd have to go back to the mid-1980s when we were both teenagers in high school. As many teens with cars in rural America did, my friends liked to drive around on the back roads as a form of entertainment.
One sunny, Summer day two of my friends came to visit me with a tale to tell.
It seems they were driving on a stretch of road with a speed limit of 35mph [56kph] because of a cluster of homes and farms. When the car slowed to this speed, Mr. Future Rocket Scientist looked down at the pavement passing by below his window on the passenger side.
Upon studying the passing blacktop for several moments, he came to the conclusion he could easily run as fast as the car was moving, so...
...he undid his seatbelt, opened the car door and STEPPED OUT of the moving car.
According to the driver, one moment our friend was sitting next to him and the next he was gone. Or mostly gone.
After a brief moment of panic during which he slowed then stopped the car, he noticed Mr. Future Rocket Scientist's right hand gripping the door's armrest and his left hand gripping the side of the passenger seat.
He was probably only dragged for a few seconds which wasn't long enough to do more than scuff up his jeans, jean jacket and the toes of his shoes.
He escaped with only minor road rash and a few bruises.
After the driver told me what happened from his perspective, Mr. Future Rocket Scientist interjected:
"It worked!"
"I was doing really well until I tripped over that rock."
Luckily an understanding of things like velocity, speed, trajectory, friction, drag, inertia and gravity aren't needed for aeronautics.
GiphyNeedless to say, we've never let him forget his "experiment."
He still claims the only problem was that rock on the road.
And I now use the saying "it's not rocket surgery" instead of either of the original sayings.