The world at large is entirely too expensive. Why is gas more than a monthly mortgage payment?
There is a scene in one of my all-time favorite shows (Arrested Development) where one of the greatest characters ever created (Lucille Bluth) says to her son Michael (Justin Bateman)... "It's one banana, Michael. What could it cost? $10?"
When the show aired it was an absurdly brilliant line.
In 2021? $10? Could be!
Redditor u/OutrageousSea5212 wanted to compare notes on what we've all paid way too much money for, by asking:
What's something that's unnecessarily expensive?
Rent. Specifically rent in New York and California. Sometimes for a good laugh, while I'm on a wine date with myself, I look at rent prices online. And I guffaw.
Numbers
Teacher Appreciation School GIF by Texas Instruments Education
Giphy
"Graphing calculators. They've been using the same model for 20+ years (17 if we're talking a TI-84), and the prices are ridiculous."
Fees Away
"Ticketmaster's service fees."
"Wow, by far my most popular comment ever! Just wanted to edit to say that if you're able, always order your tickets by calling or visiting the performance venue directly. You can avoid a ton of the fees you would otherwise be charged, and the customer service is nearly always several grades better than what you'll get with a faceless entity that really doesn't care about you at all."
- Boy11jb
A Cheaper Farewell
"Funerals."
"Costo sells coffins btw (online), and they're much cheaper than what the funeral home is selling them for."
"Edit: this is one of those Good Guy Costco things they do, similar to not raising the prices of their food. AFAIK they think it's a rip off what funeral homes charge, and so they offer them online with shipping at a price much, much lower than what funeral homes charge."
"BTW, if you've not had to pick a casket yourself, let me tell you: a lot of funeral home's cheapest casket is literally cardboard with fake wood vinyl on the side. It's there as the "cheap" option so that you pick the one above it (which is more money, of course.)"
- ihahp
Airport Thievery
"Vending machines on the secure side of airports. You can't bring the $2 coke you bought within line of sight of the checkpoint through because it could be a bomb. You can buy another one once you get past security however! But now it's $6. The machines are literally within sight of each other."
- intashu
Ridiculous...
GIF by HULU
Giphy
"Chemotherapy. My infusions are $18k apiece. I'm lucky that it's not for cancer and I only get it twice a year and I have insurance but like… wtf."
Don't even get me started about the prices of medical care in this country. It's criminal.
Color Coded
printer GIF
Giphy
"Printer ink."
"Epson Eco-Tank ET3760 changed our lives…..not the world's best color printer but it gets the job done."
People Describe Their Best Chance Encounters | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Flying Receipts
"Emergency medi-flight. I understand the cost of fuel, wear and tear on the helicopter, as well as the pilot and medical staff. But $5,000 a mile? My ambulance ride to the heliport and ensuing helicopter ride ended up about $250,000."
"That's because the hospitals know that they can overcharge insurance because they'll knock it down. If you ask for an itemized bill for your hospital stay, you can fight tooth and nail and they'll eventually be reasonable. They just do it cause they know they can get away with it via insurance companies."
Keep me in the Dark
"Lamps. I work in manufacturing and have a good idea of how much stuff like that would cost to manufacture, and I couldn't believe how obnoxiously expensive light fixtures were when I bought some new lamps given how shoddy even moderately high end ones are built. Yet IKEA sells something made from probably the same factory for $10."
Knowledge is Pricey
"I'm shocked I haven't seen college textbooks. That crap is incredibly overpriced here in the US."
"I haven't thought of those in a few years but I remember every semester jumping through hoops trying to weasel my way out of paying full price for textbooks. And the people who have replied must not have been in school when ONLINE ACCESS CODES hit the scene."
"Now every single class has some reason to charge you 120 dollars so you can do your homework. So sure you bought the 4th edition instead of the 5th and saved 90 bucks. But now you have to buy the online code and pay 120 anyways. That crap should be criminal."
A Girl's Bestie
"The diamond market is such a racket that for a period of years during the late 1990s and early 2000s, Debeers executives were unable to set foot on US soil because they would have been arrested by the DOJ for price fixing. The crooked company eventually agreed to plead guilty and paid over $300 million in fines and settlements. The cost of doing "business". - https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A48041-2004Jul13.html"
- bishpa
Stay Home
Rob Gronkowski Football GIF by Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Giphy
"Any food or beverage sold at a sporting event or concert. And the parking as well."
I do my best to pregame with sporting and concert events. Otherwise, you go broke. Last time I bought a round at an arena event I purchased two WELL double vodka/sodas and one large Diet Coke... $94. Should've got a small diet.
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Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.
More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.
Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.
Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.
Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:
"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"
Don't Give Me So Much Credit...
'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."
"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."
"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."
"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"
"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher
Eternal Optimism...
"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."
"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465
Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...
"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”
"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”
"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia
Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office
Giphy
Double Whammy!
"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."
"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93
Can't Hide Your DNA...
'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."
"She cracked the code."
"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93
Self-Sufficient!
"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."
"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."
"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'
"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody
Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations
Giphy
A Miracle!
"My brother-in-law’s comment."
"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."
"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."
"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."
"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."
"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."
"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"
"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn
Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...
"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."
"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."
"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."
"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."
"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379
Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K.
Giphy
A Bit Too On The Nose?
"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."
"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."
"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."
"'What would you expect to find there?'"
"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB
Not Yet, Anyway...
"I was working with my friend and his dad."
"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."
"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."
"His dad asked, 'what for?'"
"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."
"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890
Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...
"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."
"She told this story to him:"
"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."
"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."
"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."
"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."
"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."
"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."
"She asked him what was wrong."
“'What’s wrong???'"
"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714
On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO
Giphy
Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...
"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."
"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52
Read The Room People!
"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."
"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."
"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"
"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl
There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".
As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.
Teachers are meant to impart knowledge to the next generation, but they have to get the kids to pay attention first.
Not an easy task.
So many, too many schools are plagued by kids who have no self-control.
Teachers end up playing referee, counselor, and parent in addition to their teaching role.
All of those additional hats don't come with any additional pay.
It's no wonder we're in a teacher shortage.
Redditor _Planet_Mars_ wanted the teachers out there to share some rough student stories, so they asked:
"Teachers, what is the worst thing you've seen a student do?"
I once saw a kid drive their car into the school office.
They were drunk.
Thankfully no one was injured.
POP!
"The was a loud pop and a flash in the back corner of the classroom. I asked the student sitting there what happened. She said it was firecrackers. I sent her to the office. While she was still in the office, I realized the electrical outlets in the room didn’t work. At that point, another student fessed up that the student sent to the office had put a pair of scissors in the outlet. I’m not sure why that student thought it was better to lie and claim she was doing fireworks inside the school?"
mynamelessname
Pain
"When I was teaching preschool, I had a little girl, between 3-4, walk up to another girl who was sitting on the rug reading a book, grab her by the hair and slam her head into the wall. They hadn’t been interacting in any way prior. When I asked her why she did it, she said she 'wanted her to know it hurts.'"
No-Doubt-8748
That Kid
"A different type of bad than most of these."
"I was a teacher at a poor inner-city school. I had a lot of wonderful students but some difficult ones. One was the worst — bright but was always sleeping through class and acting up and never doing homework. I lived about 30 minutes away. One night, I stopped by the local Wawa after a night out with friends. Was at least 11:30 pm and I was already dreading the early morning drive to school. And who should be checking me out but my own 'problem' student."
"He was working late to make money for his family and then getting home at 1:00 am or later before heading into school on 4-5 hours of sleep. He was a smart kid. Really smart. I hope things worked out for him but I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if he’d been allowed to have a childhood and focus on his education."
Low_Cartographer2944
Blame the Heat
Sweating James Mcavoy GIF
Giphy
"It gets very hot here in the warmer months and so the school put out those big containers for water for everyone. Well, one student was caught peeing into a bag and dumping it into the containers."
huzzahserrah
Some kids really need some deeper therapy.
Peeing in bags? Seriously?!
From Beneath
"My wife is an elementary teacher and has a kid this year that likes to slip under their desk and lick toes (we live in a warm state) and they all think he will grow up to be a creeper."
CherryManhattan
BOOM
"This was the worst thing I know of that happened at my high school."
"Someone brought a blasting cap to school (OK, that's a bit dumb), and flushed it down the toilet (that's REALLY dumb). Then told a teacher about it, because maybe it wasn't such a good idea (their best idea that day, really)."
"Wound up with that restroom being taken out of service while the fire department x-rayed the plumbing to find and remove the (admittedly tiny) explosive. Took several weeks before it was back in service."
gogstars
Sad
"My favorite teacher in high school was a very kind a lenient man. Do your work, be respectful, and follow the major school rules and you and him would be cool. The one thing that would seem minor, but that he was very strict about was taking any medication in any way shape, or form in his classroom."
"One day, I needed to take some Advil for cramps and asked to take it. He said I needed to go to the nurse for permission. I ended up asking him why he was so strict about it. it turns out, he had a student pass out in class one day at his former school. He tried to wake her up and called the nurse, but she wouldn't wake up. They called 911 and by the time they got there, she had died of an OD on narcotics she took in the bathroom that she had hidden in a Tylenol bottle. I don't know how he went back to teaching after that."
musical-nerd24601
Painful
Moving Season 2 GIF by Paramount+
Giphy
"Saw a 4-year-old purposely push a piece of furniture over onto another 4-year-old at preschool. It actually really hurt the other kid, and her parents took the school to court."
MPD1987
Kids are brutal.
No wonder people home school.
Buying a home is a daunting task, but it comes with the comfort of finally having a place to call your own after the lengthy process of purchasing.
One of the things new homeowners look forward to is renovating certain areas of their newly acquired domicile.
However, embarking on this next phase of making a home their own can come with some surprises.
For example, doing a gut reno in the basement or tearing down a non-load-bearing wall can unearth unusual relics left from the previous homeowner.
These discoveries can either be treasures, or something very unpleasant.
Curious to hear from new homeonwers, Redditor Oblivious_Dude14 asked:
"People who bought a house. What is the weirdest thing you have found left by the previous owner?"
These will spark curiosity about former occupants.
Hidden Message
"First time I took a hot shower in our new home. The steam covered the mirror, only to reveal the phrase 'HELLO, I SEE YOU' in large finger drawn writing."
"It freaked me out for a second, but made me laugh soon after that."
"It was such an inconspicuous yet obvious thing to leave for the new homeowner (me)."
– Individual-Common-89
A Special Request
"It's not really weird but I think it's kind of a nice story."
"One of the kids' rooms has a shelf going all around the top edge, and when my kid was putting stuff up there they found a letter from the previous kid. The letter welcomed them to the room etc and asked them to take special care of a rose bush in the front yard that was their special rose bush. My kid thought it was really cool to have that connection with the previous kid."
– catsaway9
Instructions
"Not really weird but they left a typed out and printed note about the house and how to take care of it. Detailing all the plant life in the backyard and how to prep for the winter. Described how to take care of the hot tub and gave random tid bits about the electrical."
"They were good people lol."
– pet_zulrah
Theses secret chambers piqued Redditors' curiosity.
Secret Dwelling
"Not my house, but the school my friend worked at."
"A pipe had leaked and ruined a wall in the building, one of the oldest schools in the city. It was a beautiful property. Anyways the pipe leaked so they pulled down the ruined wall and behind the wall found a door."
"A fully furnished apartment was there. Had a coal burning stove to heat it. Early 1900s appliances and decor. It was for the caretaker of the school."
– Used-Stress
Antique Showroom
"My ex-wife's family knocked down a wall in a 400-year-old house in Cornwall, and found a perfectly intact bedroom from the 1800s, still with all the personal effects where they had been left."
"Nobody knows why it was boarded up, or why things weren't taken out of it."
"Oh, and that house always appears in the guides for the most haunted locations in Cornwall, if you believe that kind of stuff."
– ledow
A Medieval Theme
"A basement room that was fully decked out as a 'dungeon.' Faux stone walls, a stocks (like where you lock your head and hands in ala ye olde England), candle scones on the walls, a metal-barred cage in the corner from floor to ceiling. Oh and the closet had a load of toys, some normal, some....not so typical."
– DisIsDaeWae
These Redditors got a glimpse into past lives.
Family Treasure
"Before I met her, my wife got a call from someone she worked with saying they'd just bought an old house and in the city, and in it was a steamer trunk with her family name (not a common one) carved into the woodwork on one end."
"As it turns out, it was the trunk that her great grandfather used when he came over from Germany, and it made the trip to my wife's hometown when he met her great grandmother on a visit, and subsequently moved to her city to marry her. We now have it and it's full of family portraits and albums."
– LateralThinkerer
Vintage Trickster
"My first house purchase in 2005 - bought an old farmhouse that was built in 1923. The basement was FILLED with crap - we told them they needed to clean it all out before closing, but they didn't do it. The realtor asked if we wanted to postpone closing, and we decided no - some of the stuff looked interesting enough. Maybe it will be worthwhile to go through."
"Most of it was just junk. Then, about half way through (we were working our way from one end of the basement to the other, because you could barely walk through), I went to pick up what I thought was a small box, only to quickly realize it weighed at least 75 pounds. Upon further inspection, it wasn't a box, but a wooden square, 4' wide and about 12'x12', with two thin masonite plywood covers on each side. On one edge were two bolts with wires coming off that had been cut."
"Very strange - had no idea what it was, but thought it was interesting. So I put it aside and we kept going. At the very back of the basement once we cleared everything else out, was a rickety gray cabinet, built into the house. Inside, were numerous strange small tools, vials of mercury, vials of a strange powder, and thousands - literally thousands - of dice blanks. Some actual dice, but mostly blanks without the dots. they were all in little boxes labeled 'dice blanks'. Also very strange..."
"Not too long after that, I met a guy and upon learning my address, he said 'can I come over?My best friend grew up in that house'. He came by, and proceeded to tell me stories for an hour and a half about his childhood best friends eccentric father: Someone who was a part of the 'Dixieland Mafia' in the 60s and 70s, and who made a living traveling around the US as a traveling gambler. The enormously heavy box was an electro-magnet. And the dice blanks were for him to make his own loaded dice with a little bit of metal powder under the inlaid dot, so he could set up his own table with the the electromagnet underneath, and turn it on when he wanted to persuade the dice. He told me many other stories, including that there was 'no doubt in his mind that he had killed someone'. Pretty fascinating."
– GIjokinaround
A Soldier's Story
"A diary of an American soldier in WW-II, South Pacific Theater. Found it above a door when remodeling 20+ years ago. My wife and I tried everything we could think of to find a descendant, but to no avail."
"UPDATE: I just posted photos of it with the person's ID info on r/WorldWar2."
"Last Update: Thanks to all the help from this community, and those at r/worldwar2, this diary is now in the hands of its writer's son who came to my office this morning to retrieve it. I am so thrilled to have been able to facilitate this!"
– Factsaretheonlytruth
These folks really hit the jackpot.
Forgotten Stash
"$1200 in cash above the door on the inside the closet. I found it while painting."
– whymetoo
They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To
"A glass bowl. It was kind of pretty, with horizontal blue stripes."
"We kept fruit in it. We thought about dropping it off at the local charity shop, but never got around to it."
"Then one day I was at an antique fair and I saw for sale glass bowls that looked almost identical to ours. I went home to get my bowl and brought it to be assessed."
"Turns out it was a vintage Orrefors crystal bowl. The assessor valued it at around $800."
"We no longer keep fruit in it."
– khendron
When my great aunt passed away, our family went over to her and her husband's home in Pomona, CA to clear it out in preparation to sell.
They emigrated from Japan in the late 1930s and brought with them many decorative figurines, sculptures, and wooden carvings from the homeland.
One of the pieces was a kabuki doll on a wooden base. As we were placing the item in a box, a tiny envelope that had been taped underneath the doll's base came loose.
I opened it and found what looked like instructions for something. I kick myself to this day that I didn't keep the letter and never bothered asking my parents what the note said as we were frantically trying to empty the house.
But man, my imagination ran wild. Was it a treasure map? Who knows. I still wonder to this day what the note said and tossing it aside remains one of my life's greatest regrets.