Interracial Couples Reveal The Biggest Cultural Adjustments They Overcame
Interracial Couples Reveal The Biggest Cultural Adjustments They Overcame
[rebelmouse-image 18351636 is_animated_gif=Cultural stereotypes, and the judgments that accompany them, still present challenges for interracial couples. But dating someone from another culture has its perks too - different food, family celebrations, holiday traditions - all help to enrich our relationships. It's not always easy, though, as people still like to judge.
jbrown3152 asked, Redditors in interracial relationships, what was the biggest cultural adjustment you had to make?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
The Chinese ex was doing it right. Unopened and uneaten? Mine.
[rebelmouse-image 18351637 is_animated_gif=My ex-boyfriend of two years was Chinese, and I'm white (and Southern, while he'd lived most of his life in Chicago). We had some minor things like he would make fun of how much cheese I ate and I made fun of how much he learned to love sweet iced tea. But the one cultural norm we didn't even realize we didn't have in common was taking food home from special events. For white people, food left at the end of a wedding/event/banquet is for the host (whoever's paid for it) to dispose of/dispense how they like. In Chinese culture, mass to-go boxes are distributed and everyone takes home whatever they want. I remember being mortified at a wedding when my bf just snagged an entire, unopened box of cupcakes to take when we left. In my mind, he just stole cupcakes. What was so remarkable was that I thought he was being cheap and he thought I was being paranoid, and we never ever chalked it up to cultural norms. Learned this from a totally different (also Chinese) friend after we'd broken up.
Edit: I'm speaking of fancy or formal events specifically, not all get-togethers with food.
This seems like an easy adjustment.
[rebelmouse-image 18351638 is_animated_gif=So. Many. Hugs.
Family is family is family.
[rebelmouse-image 18351639 is_animated_gif=One I can answer!
My partner is from Zimbabwe. I'm from Scotland.
The biggest culture shock by far is how every older woman is called mbuya (gran) and every older man sekuru (grandpa). From what I understand their language (Shona) doesn't seem to have a word for aunties, uncles or cousins: everyone is just your sibling, parent, grandparent or a stranger. Makes it a nightmare to work out what the 'real' relations are.
Saying "I'm full" is a no-no in many cultures, and there's always so much food.
[rebelmouse-image 18351642 is_animated_gif=Not a current relationship but a previous one. I'm white and he's Hispanic. Meeting his family was really when the cultural differences showed. His entire family was super welcoming, immediately I was included in everything and made to feel like part of the family, that was definitely not the norm in my other relationships.
I found out that even if I'm stuffed full if his mom or aunt offered me food, I better take it. To refuse for any reason was extremely rude.
Authentic Mexican food is amazing.
We did go to a Hispanic dance club together once and I was treated like trash by everyone present because of being white, but that was the only occasion of people disapproving.
We broke up because he's a terrible person, but I still miss his family.
Celebrating for no reason? Sounds like a great adjustment.
[rebelmouse-image 18351643 is_animated_gif=My fiancรฉe is black, I'm white/Asian. Everyone from her family is very loud but in a loving way, especially in public. So much laughing and clapping for no reason, I love it so much. My wasian family is very quiet and reserved and doesn't show much affection. Being in public and getting stared at is the biggest adjustment. Also the food. Anyone else love neckbone?
Well, this is different, and certainly an adjustment.
[rebelmouse-image 18351644 is_animated_gif=I am dating a girl whose parents are from East Boston. They call pasta "macaroni" and red sauce/pasta sauce "gravy." WTF
Doesn't seem like much adjustment is needed here, everyone is really well-rounded.
[rebelmouse-image 18351645 is_animated_gif=Meeting her family: lots of hugs, the family is important, you always compliment how beautiful the mom is and eat all of her cooking, when the dad drinks then you must drink, anytime they invite you to an event then you drop everything and go or witness their wrath.
Her meeting my family: shoes come off the second you enter the house, be prepared to gossip with the mom, constantly receive a small sentence of wisdom from the dad.
I am Vietnamese and she is Venezuelan. Both families agree we would have beautiful children.
Edit: RIP inbox. y'all some amazing people: ;)
Mothers-in-law take a lot of adjusting.
[rebelmouse-image 18351647 is_animated_gif=White male married to a black woman here. We have been together since 1988 and have a 19 yo daughter.
I am not sure there were any real cultural adjustments. I have read about people in interracial relationships getting all kinds of blowback/disapproval but we've not experienced anything significant.
My MIL finds fault with virtually anything but that does not seem cultural though.
Tearing down cultural stereotypes is a necessary adjustment.
[rebelmouse-image 18351648 is_animated_gif=My ex-boyfriend is Japanese. He and his family were very very proper, clean, and etiquette. The biggest thing was they were never really satisfied with his accomplishments. Every time he did something good they would always want more from him.
Edit: One thing I forgot to mention was that I'm Hispanic, and his family had some misconceived views on Hispanic/Latino people. The sister and dad thought I was going to be some sort of drug dealer or a gang member and were scared of me at first. His mom and brother thought I was going to be loud, good at dancing, and always say something in Spanish after every sentence. They were very interesting...
Learning your partner's native language shows immense dedication, and is a really noble adjustment.
[rebelmouse-image 18351649 is_animated_gif=Learning Spanish. I married a Peruvian who speaks perfect English and so I have trouble remembering what I learn.
I like the sound of the wild Christmas.
[rebelmouse-image 18351651 is_animated_gif=My husband is Mexican and I am white. The biggest thing we genuinely notice and laugh about is how Christmas is handled.
His family - mass chaos, everyone opens presents all at the same time. There is literally trash and Christmas paper EVERYWHERE.
My family - slow, meticulous, everyone patiently waits their turn to open their gift. We legitimately have someone assigned to trash bag duty.
This happens far too often - skin color shouldn't define love.
[rebelmouse-image 18351653 is_animated_gif=It's weird getting racist side-eyes from people of the same race as me.
Whether it's interracial or sexuality, let's not judge others on how and whom they love.
[rebelmouse-image 18351654 is_animated_gif=My interracial relationship isn't an issue with most people. They normally just are disgusted because we're gay.
Hot take: visits are one thing, but having the whole family in a hospital room is really uncomfortable. It was for me.
[rebelmouse-image 18351655 is_animated_gif=I'm Hispanic, my husband is Caucasian. When someone in my family is sick, the whole family shows up. We all sit in the waiting room for a surgery, come by the house with food during a recovery. When his own father had a cardiac cath my husband didn't go with him even though he had the day off work. I went with his father and his mother and he thought it was so extra for me to go. His mentality is that I can't do anything if something goes wrong. He said if something did go wrong his mother would call him. In my family, it's a show of love, respect, and support to be at someone's sick bed, even for a routine medical procedure. His mother didn't find it strange, his sister didn't go either. It's just weird to me. When his grandma had a hip replaced he went to visit her in rehab only one time and she was there for two weeks. If it was my family, we would take shifts so she would have at least one visitor per day and one home-cooked meal.
Oh, white people...
[rebelmouse-image 18351656 is_animated_gif=Black man with a white ex here. I have plenty of these types of scenarios. My favorite is the white people who assumed we weren't together when we walked into a restaurant. My ex was absolutely incensed! I laughed because I've dealt with that ignorance on more than one occasion.
Parties for everything? Why not?!
[rebelmouse-image 18351658 is_animated_gif=White trash married into a Hispanic household.
Everything is different.
They throw parties for everything. High school graduation was a huge deal, I had to convince my parents to come because I needed a ride home afterward. His family was shocked.
We don't cook when people come over. Just buy some pizza. His mom might kill me if I throw a party without cooking a bunch of homemade food.
Sleepovers, family coming over? Then it's assumed they will stay the night. Totally threw me off. Our family barely visits and when they do it's for a few hours then they're gone.
Is someone pregnant? Awesome huge parties and lots of gifts. My family? That sucks better figure out what you're gonna do.
Kids party? Lots of games n food n cake and gifts. My family, oh cool here's a t-shirt I have work so I'm gonna leave now.
A family member needs help? They're family best go help. My side? The most you'll get is a 'that sucks' there's no helping each other.
Been about 6 years now and I'm still learning.
The concept of "on time" varies greatly from culture to culture.
[rebelmouse-image 18351659 is_animated_gif=Different understanding of time.
Edit: to be clear she is latina and I am white. Doesn't make me mad, it's just a difference in culture. It's an adjustment I have to make.
It takes a lot of courage to stand up to white supremacy. Sounds like the stepdad needs the adjustment.
[rebelmouse-image 18351660 is_animated_gif=I'm black and I'm currently dating a white guy. His stepdad is a white supremacist, so going to his house always feels a little awkward.
Expanding your taste in food is one of the best ways to experience other cultures.
[rebelmouse-image 18349417 is_animated_gif=When I'm in a relationship I tend to eat less Asian foods to accommodate their tastes. I'm Asian-American and grew up eating a variety of foods. It was hard to adjust in the beginning because the people I tend to date (primarily small-town White-Americans) have a limited food palette.
Right now my current S/O has a very wide range of palette which I'm super duper grateful for. We've eaten a large array of ethnic foods compared to my previous relationships, but just not Asian dishes yet lol. Mostly due to us not traveling out of the city, where it primarily dominated by Thai, to the suburbs where there different facets of Chinese cuisines.
It's fascinating that dancing never caught on as part of American culture. But it's never too late to try!
[rebelmouse-image 18351661 is_animated_gif=I'm a boring white American and my fiance is Puerto Rican. Everyone dances, and dances well, except for me of course.
Time-Lapse Video Shows What A Rocket Launch Looks Like From Outer SpaceโAnd It's Dazzling ๐ฎ
We've all seen videos of rockets launching from the ground, but what does the event look like from space?
European Astronaut Alexander Gerst, on board the International Space Station, managed to capture time-lapse footage of the Russian Progress MS-10 cargo spacecraft flying through Earth's atmosphere on its way to delivering supplies to ISS.
Very few people will ever have the chance to see an event like this in person.
Russian Rocket Launch Seen by Space Station - Amazing Time-Lapse Video youtu.be
Gerst created the video by setting up a camera to take regular photos through the wrap-around Cupola window of the station, which resulted in a video roughly 16 times faster than real life. Watching the rocket launch in person took 16 minutes but, in Gerst's video, the launch, stage one re-entry, and escape from the atmosphere all occur within one minute.
@_TheSeaning @Space_Station That's awesome!โ Scott Waby (@Scott Waby) 1542898886.0
The rocket in the video, known as Progress 71, was on its way to delivering 5,652 pounds of supplies to ISS. The next flight, pushed back to December 3 after a sensor malfunction resulted in the cancellation of an October 11 liftoff, will bring replacement personnel for NASA astronaut Serena Auรฑรณn-Chancellor and Russian cosmonaut Sergey Prokopyev. Both have been in orbit since June).
If all goes according to plan, the Canadian astronaut David Saint-Jacques will take off from the steppes of Kazakhsโฆ https://t.co/o0LpNWTsJQโ CTV Vancouver (@CTV Vancouver) 1543800600.0
People online were amazed by the footage from space.
@_TheSeaning @Space_Station Seรกn, thank you for this. THIS is easily one of THE most mesmerising, and exquisitely sโฆ https://t.co/a440XaOEX6โ Nathanial_LB - ูุซููุงู (@Nathanial_LB - ูุซููุงู) 1542915054.0
@_TheSeaning @jasonrdavis @Space_Station SO COOOOLโ Justin Foley (@Justin Foley) 1542908365.0
@_TheSeaning @Space_Station wow. just...wow. this is incredibleโ Sarafina Nance (@Sarafina Nance) 1542918245.0
I hardly think I need to hyperbolize this at all, because itโs simply so freaking cool: Time-lapse video of a rockeโฆ https://t.co/lx32324AWvโ Phil Plait (@Phil Plait) 1542989889.0
@BadAstronomer I watched this 5 times with my jaw on the floor... And then made everyone around the Thanksgiving taโฆ https://t.co/iMbSm8nvIOโ Marc Leatham (@Marc Leatham) 1542990342.0
@BadAstronomer @LongDogSecurity https://t.co/Yv3YZQI9Oeโ MO News DAilY (@MO News DAilY) 1543001454.0
@BadAstronomer I think thatโs the most beautiful photo of Earth Iโve ever seenโ Ben Migliore (@Ben Migliore) 1543092741.0
@freak1ngawesome Reverse of shooting starโ Shivani Jadeja (@Shivani Jadeja) 1543667552.0
@AntonioParis What an inspiring way to begin my day! Thank you! ๐ซ๐โ๐ปโ Heather Call-Me-Elf-One-More-Time Hartley (@Heather Call-Me-Elf-One-More-Time Hartley) 1543492212.0
Videos like these are a nice reminder that space truly is the final frontier! If ISS is looking for a soundtrack to put behind their video, we have an idea:
Star Trek: The Next Generation Intro HD youtu.be
White Supremacists Used App To Trick Brett Favre And Soulja Boy Into Recording Messages Supporting Anti-Semitism
White supremacists are truly a scourge. Every time they think you can't go lower, they find a new way to burrow underground and prove you completely wrong, as they did when they targeted two celebrities over the internet and tricked them into spewing garbage.
Brett Favre, star football player, and Soulja Boy, recording artists, were approached by a group claiming to be "a U.S. veterans organization for Cameo, a company that enables consumers to book personalized video greetings from celebrities."
Favre recorded the message, assuming the "request stemmed from [his] interest in veterans affairs" and recorded the message, a service that the perpetrators paid $500+ to complete.
Later on, Favre found his request was appropriated for the agenda of an anti-Semitic hate group.
"I was distressed to learn that the request came from an anti-Semitic group that reposted my video with comments implying that I endorsed their mission. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am therefore donating my $500 Cameo fee to Charities supporting their fight against hate and bigotry."
I'm on Cameo & kinda jealous they didn't request me. Maybe I need to lower my price? Most importantly Brett Favre dโฆ https://t.co/8hsC292nRsโ Tom Arnold (@Tom Arnold) 1543784713.0
@TomArnold How do you not know something is anti-Semitic. #ComeOnโ keith lyle (@keith lyle) 1543785859.0
@BuzzFeedNews Log everyone off everything nowโ Zinskฤ (@Zinskฤ) 1543635691.0
The organization refers to itself as the GDL, or Goyim Defense League. "Goyim" is the Hebrew word for a non-Jewish person.
According to BuzzFeed News, the group is run by two YouTubers who go by "Handsome Truth" and "Sway Guevara."
"Brett Favre here with a shoutout to the Handsome Truth and the GDL boys," they tricked Favre into saying. "You guys are patriots in my eyes. So keep waking them up and don't let the small get you down. Keep fighting, too, and don't ever forget the USS Liberty and the men and women who died on that day. God bless and take care."
The coded phrases here include "small" for "small hats," a slur for yarmulkes, and the USS Liberty:
"The USS Liberty is a dog whistle referring to an incident in 1967 where Israeli forces fired on the US spy ship, killing 34, during the Six-Day War. In the aftermath, Israel said that its pilots had thought the ship was an Egyptian vessel, and apologized โ the government eventually paid out $6.7 million in reparations to the survivors and families of the dead. Ever since, there have been unproven conspiracy theories surrounding the circumstances that question whether the attack was intentional. Both the Israeli and the United States governments have said that it was a case of mistaken identity."
Soulja Boy was also tricked by the group, recording a video saying "Shoutout to Handsome Truth and Sway at GDL," and "GDL for life, b*tch."
The head of the group, Handsome Truth, admitted to the deception in a Livestream on Wednesday:
"Here's the deal, guys, they can reject it if they don't like it, right, so we were trying to get it, like โ we wanted to be cryptic enough to where they would say it."
@BuzzFeedNews Sellebrities. I feel bad for people who are forced to treat themselves as products.โ TomCat (@TomCat) 1543635593.0
@BuzzFeedNews Only in America...way to go potus, maga sadly ๐๐ฅ๐ !!!โ S Johnson (@S Johnson) 1543677369.0
@BuzzFeedNews This is what happens when youโll do anything for money and fame...โ gwyn (@gwyn) 1543641284.0
@BuzzFeedNews What a load of garbage!โ Klopezdranat Tagor (@Klopezdranat Tagor) 1543682300.0
"Soulja Boy was unaware that the video on Cameo was tied to a group that promotes hate," said a Soulja Boy spokesperson. "The promo video was what the Cameo had directed and in no way supports his personal beliefs. He greatly apologizes to anyone who may have been offended."
The malice of this particular incident runs deep.
"On or about November 22nd, Cameo talent received requests that appeared to be aimed at supporting the American military. After recording the videos Cameo learned that the request came from an anti-Semitic group and contained content that could be interpreted as anti-Semitic," Cameo said in a statement to BuzzFeed News.
"This was a blatant misuse of the Cameo platform and a violation of Cameo's terms of service. This is the first incident of its kind in more than 93,000 Cameos and a gross misrepresentation of the talent's political beliefs," the statement continued. "Cameo immediately removed the videos from the website, requested YouTube to remove the content and created new filters to prevent this from happening in the future. The user has been banned from purchasing Cameos."
But will it quell the hate speech? Racism, anti-Semitism, homophobia, and misogyny have become commonplace since the election of Donald Trump, and it seems there are weekly incidents of that bigotry. Patrick Little, profiled by the Anti-Defamation League for spreading anti-Semitic hate speech, ran for State Senate in California, winning less than 2% of the vote and being barred from all California Republican events for his gross anti-Semitism. He greatly endorsed the white supremacists' actions.
If historical signs are correct, this sort of speech is likely to be misunderstood and catch fire, thereby inspiring even more hatred. The fight against bigotry must get stronger.
It only costs $500 to get Brett Favre to say something on video. So white supremacists used him to endorse anti-Semโฆ https://t.co/VdkFnujxrKโ Gabriel Snyder (@Gabriel Snyder) 1543780513.0
Alexa, show me 2018 in one headline. https://t.co/7HtmwySIU4 via @mashableโ Will Greenwald is still spooky in November (@Will Greenwald is still spooky in November) 1543754183.0
@mashable @BrettFavre may have been tricked, but vicious @ScottWalker taught our children to be Nazis and the bestโฆ https://t.co/7gMTCQCmRVโ Brian Keith O'Hara (@Brian Keith O'Hara) 1543758130.0
just alt right folks paying Brett favre to unwittingly endorse anti semitism, the world is definitely not fundamentโฆ https://t.co/JaeOo61dXJโ R Zach Lamberty (@R Zach Lamberty) 1543635101.0
H/T: BuzzFeed News, Mashable
This Store Clerk's Reaction To A Stolen Sneaker Prank Should Earn Him Employee Of The Month
Twitter user @HarvinthSkin decided to give a sales associate as his local shoe store a heart attack with a silly prank. All over the internet, people are sharing the prank and sending their well-wishes to the poor worker who experienced a moment of pure panic!
I had to give it a try? ๐๐คท๐พโโ๏ธ Instagram : @harvinthskin https://t.co/Am45kGWYLQโ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543237039.0
Don't worry too much about the unfortunate sales employee, howeverโit turns out he was given a raise as a consolation shortly thereafter!
I apologised and gave man like Martin a hug after that! ๐๐๐ JD Sports, give him a raise! ๐ต Do not try this unless youโre Zizan โ๏ธโ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543238141.0
The owner of the shoe store made clear to Skin that his employees were not to be messed with.
IM SO HAPPY THAT MAN LIKE MARTIN IS SEEN HERE WITH THE BOSS OF JD SPORTS ASIA AND IS GETTING A RAISE FOR HIS VALIANโฆ https://t.co/vL5QO2xCB5โ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543300966.0
The Big Boss of JD Sports MY! Fuck me ๐๐๐๐๐๐ https://t.co/nq3O0bdS92โ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543239495.0
On Twitter, people loved the sales clerk's reaction to Skin running out of the store.
@harvinthskin That sales be like https://t.co/0i27D7vIWKโ Ignasius Kurniawan (@Ignasius Kurniawan) 1543239042.0
@harvinthskin Best one yet cause he went out the store lmaoโ Andradรฉ (@Andradรฉ) 1543265867.0
Some thought they may have reacted differently in the same situation...
@harvinthskin @thirdeyescribe Me watching you run out of the store like https://t.co/31kkJcHjOVโ The Count ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ (@The Count ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ) 1543370777.0
But everyone got a good laugh out of the innocent prank.
@harvinthskin @kxsxhh This shit was so funny....it made my dayโ Manvir (@Manvir) 1543247327.0
@harvinthskin @queenb0414 ๐๐๐๐๐๐ https://t.co/bejrX57i6wโ ๐ (@๐) 1543275269.0
@harvinthskin @iced_coffeee https://t.co/bqP08ZK3r9โ Manuel Jr. (@Manuel Jr.) 1543358200.0
The incident also gave us some priceless reactions!
@harvinthskin โwhew my bruce lee almost came outโ https://t.co/SOUOZ4IzBEโ Nyree. (@Nyree.) 1543344926.0
@harvinthskin @ClassyyMocha ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฆโโ๏ธSaw his whole life n last paycheck that fast!!โ โFZA of FUPA-Tang Clan๐ง๐ฟ (@โFZA of FUPA-Tang Clan๐ง๐ฟ) 1543288463.0
@sofarhangone @harvinthskin @ChiSupreme @llma95_ Run up? More like run out!! https://t.co/HwHu2TT4vOโ Desi Kubrick (@Desi Kubrick) 1543320755.0
Remember, everyone: it's important to try before you buy!
@harvinthskin @mjcz1 @LeeODell84 @reevesyboi93 try before you buy. why notโ 494949494949 (@494949494949) 1543512590.0
High School Administration Under Fire For Breaking Into A Bathroom Stall While Transgender Student Was Using It
Cece is a 16-year-old transgender girl from Maple Grove, Minnesota.
She is a student at Osseo Senior High School and recently had a traumatic experience at school.
On Wednesday, Cece posted two videos, one of which is very disturbing, to her Facebook regarding an incident she experienced.
While Cece was using the bathroom at school, staff forced their way into the stall she was in.
Again, Cece is 16 years old.
Her post reads:
"SCHOOL OSSEO SEINOR HIGH ๐จ
I Guess I Can't Use The Girls Bathroom Just Because I'm Transgender ๐ Share This & MAKE IT GO VIRAL โผ๏ธ I Been Violating By Principal and Admin and Hallmonters
This Was Today 11/28/18 ๐ Ms Smith Had Nothing To Do With This"
One video showed all of the school officials she wanted to publicly name who participated in the incident.
The other showed the actual incident.
Cece's self-recorded video shows her sitting on the toilet with her pants down while a school official uses a makeshift device to reach over the stall to unlock the door.
A spokesperson for Osseo Schools stated:
"Social media posts are significantly misrepresenting the incident and that staff works very hard every day to help ensure an inclusive school where all students feel welcome, respected and safe."
They refused to comment further saying:
"We wish we could provide additional details about this incident but are committed to protecting the student's right to data privacy."
Some reports claim that Cece had previously been told not to use the women's restroom.
However, in 2017 the Minnesota Department of Education (MDOE) ruled in favor of students like Cece.
MDOE guidance states:
"Transgender and gender nonconforming students should be afforded the opportunity to use the restroom of their choice."
People also can not help but note the fact that at age 16, Cece is a minor.
Adults forcing themselves into her stall while she used the bathroom is even more appalling.
Moriah Skai Kiskaden (Facebook)
Look, guys, when a kid is in the bathroom stall with their pants down, and you pry open the stall, exposing them toโฆ https://t.co/rzMktZEkEBโ Thomas Page (@Thomas Page) 1543690840
This should be sexual assault assault of a minor. Anyone involved should IMMEDIATELY be relieved from their positioโฆ https://t.co/M5ByUSBvBPโ CrystalshineMarie (@CrystalshineMarie) 1543626160
Regardless of the unknown circumstances, the internet is outraged over the adult school staff's actions.
1st thing I saw this AM & now I canโt stop thinking about it. Unless she was assaulting another student, there isโฆ https://t.co/nkeudm8mANโ BadAssGrandma (@BadAssGrandma) 1543679009
Transphobic adults literally busted the bathroom door open on a trans high school student today in Minnesota bc theโฆ https://t.co/rojArsFW9Qโ mother sister (@mother sister) 1543465561
Look at the face of the woman who has unlocked the bathroom door!Arrogant assholes https://t.co/X98JSgHgMxโ Teresa Culhane (@Teresa Culhane) 1543698568
Cece's video and story has indeed gone viral. But what happens now remains to be seen.
H/T: Pink News, Facebook, Daily Dot, Bring Me The News