Top Stories

Husband Goes On Chore Strike While His Wife Is Pregnant, And The Internet Has Feelings

You need to do your fair share.

Husband Goes On Chore Strike While His Wife Is Pregnant, And The Internet Has Feelings
https://www.pexels.com/photo/pregnancy-pregnant-motherboard-parenthoof-57529/

A pregnancy will lead to massive lifestyle changes. Creating a baby is no easy feat, so diets, work schedules, and sleep schedules all need to shift accordingly. Typically, if both parties involved in the pregnancy are on board and understand that it's a difficult transition to build a human eyeball in a stomach, the 9-month endeavor can go smoothly. If not? Well, then we get a situation like the one below.


Reddit user, u/Anonwife139, raised a few eyebrows when she told her story entitled:



My (30f) husband (36m) has gone on a chore strike

While strangely uncommon for a husband to go on a chore strike, perhaps it's for an understandable reason. Maybe it's to help redistribute the wealth or maybe he has a big project at work coming up and needs to really buckle down. That wouldn't change the fact he's a jerk, but still. It wasn't that, though, as Anonwife139 described:

My husband and I have been married for 6 years. We both work and have usually done a decent job of dividing the chores. I am 7 months pregnant with our first child.

Since becoming pregnant, certain chores have become really tough for me. For example, I have a lot of trouble doing the laundry because I can't bend/lift like I used to. I also struggle with things like cleaning the bathroom because I have to get down on the floor. The doctor has recommended that I cut way back on physical activity as it is.

I sat down with my husband and told him that we need to redistribute the chores and he got very upset. He said that I'm using the pregnancy as an excuse to be lazy and that he shouldn't have to do my chores. I suggested that we swap some chores because his usual chores (cooking, doing dishes) would be much easier for me to handle. He refuses to listen and said that he likes his chores and doesn't want to do mine.

Now I am trying to keep up with my responsibilities but have been falling short. My husband decided that since I'm not doing my half of the chores, he won't do his. Now I feel like I have to do all the essential housework because he refuses to take care of himself, me, or the house. With this on top of the job and the pregnancy, I'm not sure how much more I can handle. How can I address this and help him see how unreasonable he's being?

TLDR my husband refuses to swap chores to accommodate my pregnancy and now won't do chores at all

Giphy

People most definitely had words for her layabout husband.

Let The Professionals Do Their Jobs

Dear god...

Well, I guess if I were you my next step would be to bring him to an OB/GYN appt and have the doctor explain why the chores need to be temporarily swapped. But wow OP. I really, REALLY wonder how your husband is going to handle midnight feedings and such.

jolie178923-15423435

Best Start Talking It Out Now

Good heavens, how's he going to be once you've actually given birth and need time to rest and heal?

I'd insist on marriage counseling, starting right now. For better or worse? Sickness and health? What the actual f-ck is he thinking?

queenoreo

Take It From Someone Who's Been There

My (soon to be ex) husband said almost those exact same words to me - that I was using the pregnancy as an excuse to be lazy. This was in the last couple weeks of pregnancy and I was miserable. He never did very much to help around the house or with our children. I spent another 11 years like that (there were other issues in our marriage, but this was a big one) and it was awful. Don't be me, OP. Set firm boundaries, go to couple's counseling, and if things don't change, leave. I'm sure it's scary to think about that since you have a baby on the way, but I was a single mom with my first child and it was easier than having my second child with my husband. Be strong- you got this.

PapayaPapyrus

Maybe A Big Change Is What You Need

Hey Op, do you live close to your parents or family? I'd suggest given your husband's petulance and lack of support that you move home for a while.

Cuz chores aren't an employment contract. They're the basic things you do to maintain your home and doing more because your spouse is pregnant and can't keep up is an absolute basic thing to expect from your husband.

Given his petulance, it sounds like you two need counselling. But given his current behaviour he's going to say nothing is wrong.

Not to mention physical labour is a bad idea at certain stages of the pregnancy. Basically, that's very little you can do about your husband at the moment (if at all). So move out and go home. Get some help from family or your parents or friends.

And hopefully this is the short, sharp shock he'll need to raise you guys need to talk to a relationship therapist and actually work at it.

(personally his refusal to do chores to begin with in the relationship would have made me dump him all those years back. Ugh. But well I assume there are reasons you want to stay married)

ftjlster

Walk A Ten Feet In Their Shoes

Maybe he should strap a 15-20 lb weight around his stomach and then try and complete his chores!

Fatherhood is going to hit him like a ton of bricks.

Edit: I was told 30 lbs would be more accurate.

TrashPandaManda

Have The Signs Always Been There?

We both work and have usually done a decent job of dividing the chores.
hes always been touchy about the housework. It took a lot of time for me to convince him to do the chores he has now.

Uh huh.

How can I address this and help him see how unreasonable he's being?

At this point? By telling him he can either go with you to a marriage counselor or a divorce lawyer.

He's not just failing to do his chores through negligence. He is actively refusing to be a partner, or a member of your family. It honestly sounds like he doesn't care about you, or the pregnancy, at all.

Honestly, what was your relationship like before you got pregnant? Did you feel loved, cherished, emotionally supported?

ShelfLifeInc

Form A "Reality Check" Intervention

Time to call in the troops for a good old fashioned shaming.

Anyone from his side of the family, friends of his, your doctor, etc. They need to come together & get him to see he needs to cowboy up on this shiz.

You're seven months preggos. You're already doing extra work just by virtue OF GROWING A NEW HUMAN. He can scrub a toilet for a few months. Jesus.

Also, mother of 2 myself. I just read your post to my husband & he had some serious not-nice words for him which I will not repeat here but yeah, your husband/apparent first born is being a dingle. Call in whoever you have to to get him to see reason because what happens AFTER the baby arrives & you're stuck dealing with 4th trimester crap and TWO babies.

WastelandMama

Find Solidarity In Those That Have FIxed Their Situations

I'm currently 9 months pregnant, found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks. Ever since then my husband has:

  • done most of the cooking, dishes, and other kitchen stuff
  • done almost all of the cleaning, especially anything laborious
  • put together the nursery (painting, furniture, fixing the moulding, etc.)
  • attended all of my ob/gyn appts with me
  • run out to buy things for me when I need/want them
  • generally been attentive to my needs

I'm not saying this to brag or be a jerk but because it is what I would expect a father to do. I'm carrying our son--he understands the toll that is taking on my physical and mental health. He loves me and is kind to me. Again, that seems like the bare MINIMUM you should expect from your life partner.

This is not going to get better when you have a baby in the house who cries all the time, needs feeding and changing on the hour, and deprives you both of sleep.

I strongly suggest you go to a counselor now to talk about expectations after the baby is born. And if he can't make some significant change and show some damn empathy.

_cortney_

The Beginning Of The End

This truly is the beginning of the end. This ball of yarn is eventually going to unravel. But, because of everything, naturally, you are going to try to make it work for a while longer. But always keep it in the back of your mind being married to someone that selfish is a house built on sand. Take every step and measure to protect yourself when it ends. Make sure you have income, a job, saving socked away, and your own separate attorney. I know you think we're all crazy for saying stuff like this.

But it is just one of those things that is obvious from a mile away but invisible when up close.

dinosaur_train

Escalation

Pregnancy is hard on your body and uses a lot of energy and resources... does he debate this?

You physically can't take laundry out of the washer at this size... what's his solution?

Your doctor believes your level of physical activity is harming the fetus... does he care?

I think you should move in with your mother for now. He has escalated his "response" by going on strike. Your ONLY OPTION here (other than doing all his chores) is to show him you are also willing to escalate.

ballcladthrow

Shutting Down

I agree with many people here who are saying marriage counseling. However, if he's been great for five years and is just now freaking out, then it's probably because he's freaking out about a lot more than chores. I bet he's the type of guy that likes routine. I would bet that he's scared of how crazy life is going to become after baby is born and this is him acting out.

This is a lot of speculation but I would bet this hits close to home. I would bring this up when you go to marriage counseling. However, he has shut down and you need to talk to someone soon. I don't think you should hit the object button though. Impending fatherhood is terrifying and I don't think everyone remembers that.

Maturity

This seems like a case of you ignoring what he tells you. You shouldn't have to convince your husband to do those work, I understand if you did. But are you truly surprised that he didn't want to do any more housework? Especially when he didn't want to do it in the first place?

While you're saying he's married a lot since you met him, that doesn't mean he's anywhere near mature enough for a baby.

Simple logic says, you are 7 months pregnant, n bending over is hard. Someone who refuses to see that isn't mature.

You have a long battle ahead of you, please open your eyes and prepare yourself to take care of that baby 24/7, because you won't have the energy to convince your husband to take care of your baby with you, you'll be doing that alone and he will barely lift a finger, I've seen it so many times.

unaotradesechable

Omen

Sounds like husband plans on being a Kodak Moment Father. I hope you're ready for him to just abandon you when it comes to baby maintenance and assume that you'll still do the housework in a timely manner even though you haven't slept in a week and you're still in pain and oozing god knows what from the birth.

This is an omen, OP. Husband thinks chores are women's work and you know it. If you still want to roll with this, have your doctor tell him face-to-face.

junjun_pon

More Harm Than Good

My mother has a lifelong hernia because my father refused to lighten her burden after she'd just had a C-section. He said she was being lazy. I was so glad they eventually got divorced because it was indicative of exactly who he f***ing was in every way.

What would a person who loved you do?

fetishiste

Scotland Tackles Transphobia and Homophobia In Brilliant New Billboard Ads ❤️
(OneScotland)

The Scottish government has had enough of hate crimes and is moving forward with a gutsy campaign.

According to Pink News, Scotland is launching a new initiative to combat intolerance with messages respectively addressing "bigots," "disablists," "homophobes," "racists," and "transphobes" in a series of ads circulating across the country.

Each message is signed on behalf of Scotland.

Keep reading... Show less
Feminists Slam Man Telling Them They Can't Have Both Chivalry And Equality
(GettyImages)

A man on Twitter informed feminists they had to choose between chivalry and equality.

He was promptly raked over the coals for even assuming an antiquated concept would be considered as a viable option.

Keep reading... Show less
Katy Perry, P!nk, Paul McCartney And More Sign Letter Threatening To Boycott SiriusXM Radio
Photos by John Shearer-Direct Management-Christopher Polk-Gary Gershoff-WireImage

Hundreds of artists have signed a letter threatening a boycott if SiriusXM's parent company, Liberty Media, doesn't back down from opposing the Music Modernization Act.

The act, which was expected to pass through Congress, streamlines royalty payments in the new age of digital technology, but it seems SiriusXM is objecting to a small section that would have the satellite radio company paying royalties on recordings dating before 1972.

That's a whole lot of songs and a whole lot of money the company is hoping to skip out on paying, but not if stars like Paul McCartney, P!nk, Stevie Nicks, Sia, Carly Simon, Gloria Estefan, Mick Fleetwood, Don Henley, Max Martin, and Katy Perry can help it.

The letter read, in part:

I'm writing you with grave concern about SiriusXM's opposition to the Music Modernization Act (Classics Act included).

We are all aware of your company's objections and trepidation but let me say that this is an opportunity for SiriusXM to take a leadership position. As you are aware, 415 Representatives and 76 Senators have already cosponsored the MMA along with industry consensus. It's SiriusXM vs all of us. We can either fight to the bitter end or celebrate this victory together. Rather than watch bad press and ill will pile up against SiriusXM, why not come out supporting the most consequential music legislation in 109 years? We do not want to fight and boycott your company but we will as we have other opponents. Stand with us! Be brave and take credit for being the heroes who helped the MMA become historic law! Momentum is building against SiriusXM and you still have an opportunity to come out on the right side of history. We look forward to your endorsement but the fire is burning and only you can put this out.

SiriusXM resoponded with a letter of their own:

Over the past several weeks, we have been the subject of some stinging attacks from the music community and artists regarding our views on the Music Modernization Act. Contrary to new reports and letters, this is really not about a SiriusXM victory, but implementing some simple, reasonable and straightforward amendments to MMA. There is nothing in our "asks" that gut the MMA or kills the Act. So let's talk about the substance of the amendments we propose, because we truly do not understand the objections or why these concepts have incited such a holy war.ontrary to the accusations, SiriusXM has proposed three simple amendments to the MMA.

First, SiriusXM has asked that the CLASSICS Act recognize that it has already licensed all of the pre-1972 works it uses. This amendment would ensure that artists – the people who are supposed to be at the heart of the MMA – receive 50% of the monies under those existing licenses. Is that unfair? Just today, Neil Diamond wrote in the LA Times that: "I receive a small amount of songwriting royalties, but no royalties as the recording artist." How can that happen? To date, SiriusXM has paid nearly $250 million dollars in pre-'72 royalties to the record labels. We want to make sure that a fair share of the monies we have paid, and will pay, under these licenses gets to performers. Without this provision, artists may never see any of the money SiriusXM paid, and will pay, for the use of pre-1972 works. Artists not getting paid hurts our business!

Second, Sirius XM thinks that the fair standard to use in rate setting proceedings is the standard that Congress chose in 1995 and confirmed again in 1998 – which is called the 801(b) standard. However, we are willing to move the "willing buyer/willing seller" standard contained in the MMA. In exchange, we have asked for the same concession that the MMA grants to other digital music services, but we were left out of — simply that the rates that were set last year for five years now apply for ten years. We thought this was a fair compromise when we read the "new" MMA that was released this weekend by the Senate, and are willing to live by that compromise.

Third, SiriusXM is asking the simple question: "Why are we changing the rate court evidence standard for musical compositions in this legislation so that it gives another advantage to broadcasters over satellite radio and streaming services?" There is no policy rationale for this change to tilt the playing field further in their favor, and frankly no one has been able to explain it to us. It is only fair that we debate why the change to Section 114(i) is in the MMA.

Did you all catch that? It sounds like lawyer speak for "we don't really want to say where we stand."

media.giphy.com

It seems all the letters were for naught. The Music Modernization Act passed in the U.S. Senate.




It was time to celebrate and dance in the streets.









As the saying goes, honest pay for honest work.

media.giphy.com


H/T: Variety, Spin

Some Residents Of Uranus, Missouri Are Not Happy About The Name Of Their New Local Newspaper 😆
CBS Philly/YouTube, @ShirtlessKirk/Twitter

There's nothing like a good pun about human anatomy. Really gets the juices flowing!


Owners of the new Uranus Examiner must have been snickering as they announced the paper's name. Apparently, it's caused quite the controversy in the small town of Uranus, Missouri, over the last few days.

Residents are divided over whether the pun is an embarrassment or perfectly snarky:


Folks on the internet responded with maturity and composure after learning about the Uranus Examiner.

Oh, wait. No they didn't.





If you think about it... there might actually be a method to the madness here. The brand new paper's name has received widespread media coverage over this past week. Simply put... everyone's talking about Uranus.

In terms of publicizing their new venture, the owners of the Uranus Examiner have actually done a pretty sweet job!


In the video above, a woman suggests the paper should have been called "The Pulaski County Examiner."

If you ask me, that's TOTALLY BORING, and wouldn't have generated as much interest and publicity for the paper. So while the name might be cringeworthy to some, you can bet Uranus that it'll stick around. Who knows, Uranus might even grow as a result!

H/T: Indy100, The Kansas City Star