It's healthy to acknowledge and accept our faults, though it's easy to take it too far into the depths of self-doubt. For me, it's believing that kindness is feigned and that I don't deserve to be happy. It's a struggle, and I know it harms my ability for form healthy relationships.
pakupaku9 asked self-aware Redditors: What's an absolute turn off about your own personality that you're aware of but can't help?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Thinking you annoy everyone.
I'm worried way too often that I'm annoying or bothering people and end up apologizing for it, which then ACTUALLY makes me annoying. It's a vicious cycle.
My friends will ask me if I want to hang out and 9 out of 10 times I ask "Do YOU want to hang out? We don't have to if you don't want to." F*** I'm annoying.
I relate to this too much for my liking.
Having a really expressive face.
My face gives away exactly what I'm thinking.
I feel you. If I don't like someone / something the other person and the people around me WILL notice.
Never. Play. Poker! I feel you. If I don't like someone / something the other person and the people around me WILL notice.
Never. Play. Poker!
Being that person who yells when they're excited.
When I get excited about something, I get loud as f***.
I don't mean to yell or am even aware that my volume went up that much.
My dad does that, and we've gotten in the really obnoxious habit of shushing him or telling him to bring it down. My husband called me out on it one time when I absent mindedly did it to him and I realized how rude it is.
I totally understand people not wanting me to shout, but when people shush me (like family who do it out of habit), I feel so bad. I usually just stop talking about the thing I was talking about, for fear of getting loud again.
Habitual one-uppers.
I interrupt people at the tail end of their stories and bring up my similar experiences in a way that can come off as one upping when really I don't have anything to add and just don't want to say nothing. But I've gotten much better with that. I still do have a tendency to interrupt and notice I'm doing it every time which leads to lots of awkward apologies at the end of a conversation.
I use to do this a lot, most of the time I'm just so excited that I've had a similar experience that I can't wait to tell the person. As I've gotten older I've realized most experience aren't terribly unique and started to vet the stories I want to tell better and almost always wait until the person is finished.
On the off chance I did cut someone off, instead of waiting for a lull or starting to apologize I try to finish my story with a follow up question to the person initially telling the story.
The trick is to not care how people feel about you.
I want people to like me. And think of 100 reasons why they don't when I don't feel a connection. I basically can't just chill without thinking the worst.
I think of every negative possibility, everything I did wrong in an interaction , and I dwell on it till I depress the hell out of myself. Due to this I need constant reassurance of things to the point I'm sure I drive people I care about nuts.
I never take kindness as genuine and always assume I'm being used, and then have to weigh how much am I worth to myself versus how much I'm willing to be used.
I know I've gone off track, but I feel it all tied together a bit.
Sounds like a mastery of facetiousness .
Im pretty sarcastic, but I'm a pretty monotone person so people tend to think I'm being serious at times where I'm really not.
It's sucks because I find my sense of humor hilarious and usually make jokes because I find them funny. But they come off to other people as me being clueless when I'm just being sarcastic.
Me too. Everything is a joke, but no one knows! I just recently found out. Explains a lot!
Turning into mom.
I turn into my mother and smother people. I realize I'm doing it, but I can't seem to stop myself.
For example: "Oh, you're going out? Don't forget your coat."
"You should get to bed soon if need to be up early."
"Did you get something to eat? You should grab a bite."
A friend once looked me in the eye and said, "Hey, I'm an adult. I'm quite able to make all my own decisions, and pay the consequence for those decisions." Ouch. That one stung a bit. But it all comes from a good place.
Oh I have a friend like that! I love her at lot but the smothering does get annoying sometimes. That one time I tried to fill a plastic bottle on a public fountain. And I fidgeted a bit before I got the bottle in the right position. She, having as little experience as I had, took the bottle out of my hand and did it herself. :D
My issue goes the other way. Anytime I see someone struggling with something, I kinda just stare and smile. It's really weird, as if I have distanced myself from reality so much that I don't realize I have the power to help out.
Being super needy.
I constantly need to be assured that the person is into me. I have abandonment issues that have made me quite insecure.
Looking for opinions, where's the line on this? Would it be unreasonable to want that sort of affirmation once a week or so? Once a month? At what point does it become ok to start worrying? Asking for a friend...
Once every few days saying you like someone seems okay. My girlfriend makes a point of telling me she likes me every few days despite our incessant sarcasm about totally hating each other.
That sounds nice. I haven't gotten a spontaneous "I love you" or even an "I enjoy your company" in a few months. Not sure exactly how long. Might be time to move on.
Not being able to accept praise.
I am sh*t at receiving compliments because i don't like myself and always feel like i could do better even though i do nothing. Can make me sound arrogant or condescending when someone compliments me and i reject it or just passively ignore it.
Just say "thank you" with a smile that you're thankful for what they said but not a big grin where your self esteem depends on their compliment
I have trouble receiving compliments and will always immediately and without thinking come up with a reason why the compliment isn't valid and my work is crap. I'm trying to just accept them graciously because I realize my usual response makes us both look bad.
Don't we all.
I feel really awkward making eye contact and talking about my feelings.
I relate way too much to this.
I have been asked so many times if I am on the autism spectrum. I am not, but I absolutely hate making eye contact while conversing with people. Just find it awkward & when I try to, it just turns into a staring contest. All these questions start popping in my head then
"How often should I blink my eyes/ should I coordinate my blinking with theirs"
"How long should I keep the eye contact"
"Should I be the one to avert my eyes or should I wait for them to look away"
& then I get anxious about the actual topic of the conversation because I am not paying all my attention to what they're saying.
Edit: I am in the medical field so most everyone who notices my social awkwardness tries to guess what's wrong with me. Bitches love diagnosing!
Just think of eye contact as being the physical punctuation in a conversation. Look them in the eye, only for about 2-3 seconds at a time, when the following is happening: you agree with them, or smile in response to something they say, or you ask a question, or they are making their main point. Then let your gaze drop. If your body language still says 'I'm listening ' (an occasional nod, head tilt) it's okay not to be staring them in the eye - that's normal, and more comfortable for them also. Always make and hold eye contact at the end of your conversation when you close. 'It's been nice talking to you, hopefully I'll see you around'. Smile. Move away. Conversation successfully completed without anyone going away feeling weirded out.
My father instilled eye contact into me and my sibling to the point where we would make eye contact with people passing by us. Over the years I've learned to keep eye contact but to sometimes look over their shoulders behind them. It's not perfect as sometimes they think there something behind them but besides that it works pretty well and it helps form q more intimate bond between me and said person. And not a kind of intimate as in relation but rather it assures them that I'm listening to them. So yeah, eye contact is important
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
Reddit user juliacorco asked:
"What is the creepiest tv episode or movie you’ve ever seen?"
Haunting of Hill House
"Haunting of Hill House on Netflix."
"Scary as hell."
"Bent Neck Lady makes the hair on my neck stand up on end every time."
"Same with the ghost looking for his hat. Or whatever was down in the cellar."
~ Pretend-Cucumber-711
GiphyHereditary
"Hereditary"
"That one scene near the end in the dark bedroom…is essentially a reverse jump scare. Something is there the entire time and it’s just a matter of when you notice."
"Sent chills up my spine."
"That movie stuck with me for days."
~ Plus-Statistician80
Doctor Who/Torchwood
"I have two contenders, from the Doctor Who universe..."
"'Blink' from Doctor Who."
"'Children of the Earth' from Torchwood (all 5 episodes)."
"Both are the stuff of nightmares, but in very different ways."
"'Blink' will make you not sleep at night, while 'Children of the Earth' will deeply disturb you."
~ Common_Sense_Dudd
Giphy"The first few seconds I was exposed to the Weeping Angels in 'Blink' I thought it was a dumb, silly conceit."
"By the end of that episode I knew I would have nightmares for months."
~ codyish
"'Children of Earth' was amazing. There was so much complexity to it, and the way they solved it was downright horrifying."
"The 456 just felt so real with their motives, and were really dark compared to other Who-niverse villains."
"It wasn't that they were trying to build a galactic highway, or were trying to save the universe. Just that (SPOILERS) they were drug dealers/addicts and would kill millions if the didn't get their supply of children."
~ NinjaBreadManOO
Paranormal Activity
"Paranormal Activity."
"I was not prepared and only 12 years old."
"Traumatized for years!"
~ Sudden-Star-7190
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode 'Hush'."
~ Malk_McJorma
"The gentlemen were some of the best villains."
~ Sudden-Star-7190
Room 1408
"Room 1408 creeped me out."
"I usually don't find hauntings or ghosts scary, but this one was something else."
"Left me really uneasy when trying to sleep after."
"I had to keep a light on. I'm 46."
~ hartschale666
The Twilight Zone
"I find the The Twilight Zone episode titled 'Living Doll' to be particularly creepy."
~ Ill_Fisherman5547
"Talky Tina was so creepy."
~ peachesfordinner
"The Twilight Zone episode—'Mirror Image'—with the woman at the bus station who has a doppelganger still creeps the sh*t out of me."
~ BurningSlash88
Ghost Ship
"Opening scene from Ghost Ship."
~ teslatinkering
"This movie is 21 years old, I’ve only watched it once and I still remember this scene vividly."
"Props to the creators because I can’t say that about many movies."
~ PainfulPoo411
X-Files
"The X-Files."
"Episodes 'Home'—inbred family in Pennsylvania—and 'The Host'—the Flukeman."
~ True-Mousse4957
"I was going to say season 3, episode 12—'War of the Coprophages'."
"Only due to one little thing."
"Mulder is in a lab with some scientist looking at the weird cockroaches. They're just chatting away when a cockroach walks across 'your' TV screen."
"It's made to look like it's an actual cockroach walking across your in real life screen. We don't even have cockroaches like that in my region of the world, but it still freaked me out for a second."
~ STROKER_FOR_C64
The Blair Witch Project
"Not gonna lie."
"I saw The Blair Witch Project in the theatre after watching some MTV documentary on it the day before."
"I thought it was real and I was afraid to walk to my car."
~ heavymetalsculpture
Are You Afraid of the Dark
"There's an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark—'The Tale of the Dead Man's Float'."
"It's about a school that was built on an old cemetary and there is some sort of creature thing thant comes into the pool while some kids are swimming."
"I still think about that episode every so often."
~ streetsoulja31
"There’s that one episode—'The Tale of the Frozen Ghost'—where a kid froze to death at some point and the ghost kid just appears and says 'I’m cold' in such a weird inflection…."
"It still creeps me out now. And whenever I am cold, that’s the only way I can say it in my head."
"Man that series had no business being that scary!!"
~ mistresssweetjuice
GiphyFor me, children in horror can always produce the creepiness factor.
Who doesn't feel unsettled after seeing the twins in The Shining?
So what movies or TV episodes creeped you out?
Reddit user Kuli24 asked:
"What's a movie fact you know that pretty much no one else knows?"
The Departed/Arthur the Aardvark
"When filming the rooftop scene in The Departed, a giant inflatable Arthur the Aardvark—from the TV show Arthur—on top of a nearby children's museum would have dominated the background of many of the shots."
"The museum graciously agreed to temporarily deflate and remove Arthur."
~ el_goyo_rojo
GiphyMission Impossible
"The theme song from Mission Impossible spells out MI in Morse code on repeat."
~ BelgianBeerGuy
GiphyStar Wars
"Robert Englund, famous for playing Freddie Kreuger, auditioned to be Luke Skywalker, but didn't get the role."
"He told his roommate, Mark Hamill, to go try out instead."
~ Zefram0911
GiphyNightmare On Elm Street/Lord of the Rings
"And by extension, the Nightmare On Elm Street franchise is considered the reason we have Lord Of the Rings today.
"Because New Line was on the verge of bankruptcy until Elm Street saved the company."
"And New Line was the only company with the guts to green-light and fund Peter Jackson’s pre-production and production for LOTR."
~ hevnztrash
GiphyThe Princess Bride
"Cary Elwes broke his toe on André the Giant's 3-wheeler during filming The Princess Bride."
"He was worried Rob Reiner might fire him so he kept it a secret.
"He worked the scenes before the Fire Swamp to make his character kind of nonchalant but really he couldn't put much weight on his foot."
~ Inevitable-Roof4992
GiphyAliens
"In Aliens, after the first encounter with the aliens as the Marines are retreating, there is a scene where they get in the troop carrier and as they are getting ready to leave, an alien tries to get in."
"Hicks picks up his shotgun off the deck, jams it in the alien's mouth, yells 'Eat this' and blows it away."
"That whole scene was shot backwards because the actor, Michael Biehn, couldn't perform the move."
"So it was shot backwards, played in reverse and then sound dubbed over it."
~ LordBaranof
GiphyCoco
"In Pixar's Coco, the boy who was going to play Miguel hit puberty, changing his voice."
"The people in charge replaced him with someone younger."
"The original boy got a cameo where he is the guy working the stage asking him if he's ready to go on."
~ numbersev
GiphyAirplane!
"Leslie Nielsen was a critically acclaimed dramatic actor and leading man before he did Airplane!."
"On the set, people were intimidated by him because of his status."
"But they had no idea that he was the set prankster."
"He's actually buried with a fart machine that he used to carry around to mess with people."
~ G-Unit11111
"His prior career was the primary reason for casting him in Airplane!."
"A respected serious actor giving those jokes as serious lines was what made it so funny."
~ SaltWaterInMyBlood
GiphyFinding Dory
"In Finding Dory, the original voice of Nemo had grown up, so his voice had obviously changed."
"But he still got a cameo as one of the truck drivers."
GiphyDead Zone/Christmas Story
"The movies Dead Zone and Christmas Story were being filmed only a couple miles away from each other at the same time."
"Both productions were waiting for snow so they could film. It was an usually snowless winter."
"Finally late in the season there was a significant snowfall. The scene where Sheriff Bannerman arrives at Johnny’s house is being filmed at the exact moment of the tongue to the flag pole scene."
~ Annual_Rooster5678
GiphyShrek
"In the first Shrek movie, Lord Farquaad is removing all the fairy tale creatures from the swamp."
"He wants Shrek's home too."
"In the old DVD extras they explain it’s because he wants to build a theme park there."
"It’s not explained at all in the movie."
~ bickel89
"Farquaad was modeled after then Disney CEO Michael Eisner."
"Shrek was produced by DreamWorks which was co-founded by Jeffrey Katzenburg who ran Disney before Eisner."
"Farquaad is also a play on the word F*ckwad."
~ TheGoadingGoat
GiphySir Anthony Hopkins
"Sir Anthony Hopkins is an incredible mimic."
"Throughout his career, he’s looped (post-production sound re-recording) many well known co stars who were unavailable for re-recording sessions."
"He’s never taken credit for this."
~ smdanes
GiphyToy Story/Monsters Inc.
"The original choice for Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story was Billy Crystal. He turned it down and went on to say it was one of the biggest mistakes of his career."
"When the opportunity to voice Mike in Monsters Inc came up he jumped at it, as he didn’t want to make the same mistake twice."
~ DorkusMalorkus89
GiphyContagion/Seven
"In Contagion the autopsy performed on Gwyneth Paltrow used a prop head that was originally made for the finale of Seven."
"The latter decided against showing what was in the box and thus, years later it was repurposed."
"In other words, we finally got to see what was in the box."
~ thepoeticpatient
GiphyEdward Scissorhands
"In Edward Scissorhands, the version shown to critics and reviewers contained a scene that got cut from the final theatrical version. The scene was during the opening when the grandmother starts telling her story to the little girl."
"Essentially, it made it clear that everything we are seeing in Edward’s story is not as it actually occurred, but rather we’re peering inside the little girl’s imagination, seeing how she’s interpreting what her grandmother is telling her."
"This brings whole new meaning to things like the way the houses are painted, how all the dads leave for work at exactly the same time, and the quirkiness of how everyone behaves.
"Once you know that this scene exists, you see the movie in a very different way. Much of what we think of a 'Tim Burton weirdness' is actually childlike imagination once you know."
"So, go watch it again. It’s not a whole new movie, but it feels and comes across in a whole new way."
~ Darnitol1
GiphySo, what cinema secrets do you know?