Guy's Pregnant GF Asks Him To Gain Weight During Her Pregnancy, And The Internet Has Feelings
It's not an unheard of request, but it definitely tugs at some insecurities. Pregnancy is a difficult time and it's very nice to have support and company while you're going through the worst of it.
u/GlutenFreejk laid out the problem:
My girlfriend asked me to gain weight with her while sheโs pregnant and I am not sure what to do
Just last week my girlfriend found out that she's pregnant. We are both gym rats and run and lift a lot but her question to me was startling. She asked me that while she's pregnant to get fat with her. I really don't want to lose my body but I am just so unsure about this. Anyone got tips?
Here was some of the advice he got.
One
She's insecure about her weight. Focus on her, compliment her new curves, do something that shows you still care about her regardless of her temporary appearance.
Weight is a dangerous thing to play with.
Two
For a lot of couples the dad gains weight with his pregnant woman by accident anyway, but encouraging it is really a bad idea especially looking at the lack of time and stress a baby brings. Losing weight will drop down the priority list and thats even more stupid if the weight was gained on purpose and completely unnecessary.
If a woman is already doing a lot of sports, she can also keep it up til shortly before birth. Ofc, she should check in with her doctor on what is cool and what isn't, but other than that, she's good to go. And if she is on a healthy diet anyway she has the healthy habits needed to not gain much weight during pregnancy.
Three
She won't gain fat. She will gain baby (plus placenta and fluid)! I gained a total of 10kg while pregnant. To be fair I delivered early at 35 weeks. By the time I left the hospital I was wearing pre-pregnancy jeans and was only 2.5kg heavier than before I fell pregnant.
My suggestion would to be help her maintain her healthy lifestyle by eating correctly and to continue exercising (obviously some things will have to altered) and she shouldn't gain too much other than baby weight.
Four
Pregnancy weight gain isn't "getting fat", it's a combination of the baby's own weight (remember it'll be 6-9 lbs at birth), and her body building an entire life support system to supply the growing baby with everything they need. If she doesn't gain that weight, the baby won't be healthy. It's not fat, it's building an entire new human being out of your body.
Has your gf started seeing an OB/GYN yet? Suggest she talk with them about the weight gain, how to do so in a healthy manner, and how to exercise safely during pregnancy. If she's comfortable, go with her to at least one appointment so you can learn about it too.
Five
Short answer: do not fall for this. Don't gain this 'sympathy' weight. Stick to your health.
Otherwise I imagine 2 scenarios: 1) your gf will resent you for being healthy while she's being unhealthy (She'll hate on you for looking great while she 'has' to look bad) or 2) she'll resent you for the weight gain you both agreed to (sounds irrational but I swear that sounds like a real possibility with someone who's just asked you to give up your health like this), meaning you'll have both given up your health for a bunch of meaningless arguing about how you 'let' her get fat, or helped encourage it. Then you'll resent her. Cue endless cycle.
Long answer: There's a lot of dated and conflicting info out there about women working out while pregnant but one thing is for sure: if you've already been active, there's no reason to give up on being active, save for some necessary modification. And for those who were never active, this is prime time to just start walking every day.
I am nearly 37 weeks pregnant and did not give up on being active; so, I did not 'get fat.' I gained exactly the recommended amount of weight (will be around 24lbs at birth), gained muscle tone, and I religiously meal prep with a macronutrient profile that works for me so that I know I'm getting more calories but not an excessive amount. I track everything in a TDEE spreadsheet. My body looks better now than it ever has and I believe this is due to being the most active I've been in my entire life plus figuring out macros and all that - gaining weight healthfully is JUST as hard as it is to lose weight healthfully.
I committed to all this because pregnancy has gotten such a weird reputation for being this glorious time in a woman's life where she's free to indulge in everything sans consequence and I wanted to prove otherwise. Pregnancy is the one time during which we (women AND their partners) should truly get their health into a good place.
As a result, my only nagging symptom has been fatigue. That's it. I feel pretty normal otherwise. Sure, it sucks to have extra weight on me but I'm not moody, my sleep is great, and I can run stairs with my SO, who's also active. I haven't swelled up anywhere and I don't have any complications. My care provider agrees this is all due to a healthy lifestyle.
I say all this because if your girlfriend is preparing herself for 9 months of JUST fat gain, she's going to be in for a world of hurt - any and all her symptoms will probably be exacerbated, physically AND emotionally. She might end up with some gestational diabetes or other unfortunate complications. It's just not worth it to 'help' her give up on her health right now just to protect her from feeling 'big.'
Six
I would say to sit her down and, very gently, tell her what you want. It's probably not a good idea to bulk/ gain weight, as you like your body. And maybe offer the solution of working out with her at home, if she isn't comfortable in a gym. Make sure to reassure her that she's beautiful and doesn't the age to worry about her body image becoming unattractive because she's pregnant. I feel like it's an insecurity that's giving her anxiety, and she would feel more comfortable if her partner looked 'fatter' like she thinks she will.
Seven
You should not gain your weight as it is unnecessary and she should understand this. Since she is pregnant she needs to do what is best for the pregnancy and later she can lose her weight. Talk to her when she is in the good mood and tell her how you feel. Why she wants you to gain weight? You should ask her reasons behind this so you can make her secure and calm about the situation.
Eight
Not just your body shape, it's also building poor eating habits and likely losing some exercise habits. As someone who was athletic, only to end up 100 pounds heavier because I stopped having a proper diet and exercise (mostly due to hormones), I can honestly say it is really hard to undo what has been done. Not only initially gaining weight I have found makes it much harder to keep it off, and easier to put that weight back on far faster after losing it.
Your girlfriend is definitely feeling insecure about losing her body as well, and may feel as though she is sacrificing her body and wants you to sacrifice something as well. Perhaps you can do research on healthy diets for pregnancies, as well as safe exercises to do with her throughout all stages of her pregnancy. If you show her a solid plan of what you would like to do to help keep her and the baby healthy going forward, maybe even schedule parenting classes or some kind of activity together, it will help her feel more at ease. I suggest doing these things with her to show that you're actively engaging in the pregnancy, and with her.
Nine
So according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, healthy weight gain during pregnancy is made up of:
1.5 pounds: the placenta
7 pounds: maternal stores of fat, protein, and other nutrients
7.5 pounds: your average full-term baby
2 pounds: breast tissue
4 pounds: increased fluid volume
4 pounds: increased blood volume
2 pounds: the uterus
2 pounds: amniotic fluid
Total = 30 pounds
I've never been pregnant but all my friends who have gained minimal/healthy amounts of weight during pregnancy complained about being fat. In reality they were all bump and still had slim arms and legs, but I'm sure that's a huge shock to normally look down and see your toes, and then just see belly. Tell her you're not getting fat because she's not getting fat, she's growing a human. It sounds like she needs reassurance that you're still attracted to her while body is going through some major changes.
Scientists Have Developed A New 'Planetary Health Diet' That Could Literally Save Lives And The Planet At The Same Time
In an attempt to help curb worldwide issues such as climate change, and malnutrition in poverty stricken areas, a joint commission by EAT, a non-profit seeking to transform the global food system, and The Lancet, an old and respected medical journal, has released a recommended guideline for dietary and planetary health.
The report recommends cutting back meat consumption to at most, a burger patty or equivalent a week, and supplementing your protein intake with nuts, legumes, and beans. An increase in veggies and fruits would make up the bulk of your meal plate.
The dietary guideline was established by a coalition of over 30 scientists, researchers, and doctors designed not just with human nutrition in mind, but also sustainability. With estimations that the planet will reach 10 billion people by 2050, scientists are working to figure out how to feed them all.
Additionally, the red meat industry has for a long time, been known to be a contributor to greenhouse gasses, while land conversion for food production is the greatest factor in biodiversity loss. The report from the EAT-Lance commission estimates that through nutrition and agricultural changes from this diet, we can save 11 million lives every year.
That sounds pretty great.
The EAT-Lancet commission lists very specific macronutrient ranges for their proposed diet, from 300g of veggies per day, to only 7g for red meats. However, it's this specificity that is drawing criticism.
John Ioannidis, the chair of disease prevention at Stanford university has praised the growing attention to how diets can affect the environment, but states the commission doesn't represent the scientific uncertainty between health and nutrition.
Dr. Georgia Ede, who writes for the site Diagnosis: Diet, took issue with the report's specific recommendations. Dr. Ede's website makes the case for low carb and paleolithic diets.
She points out the commission says,
"We have a high level of scientific certainty about the overall direction and magnitude of associations described in this Commission, although considerable uncertainty exists around detailed quantifications."
And yet, they recommend 0 to 58g per day of poultry, with a 29g midpoint. This seems very specific.
People are not willing to give up meat so easily.
Still, the report is a good starting point for the discussion we need to have about food's connection to not just our health, but the planet's well-being.
As Dr. Howard Frumklin, head of the Wellcome Trust which helped found the EAT foundation says himself,
"The links among diet, health and the environment are well-documented, but, until now, the challenge of attaining healthy diets from a sustainable food system has been hampered by a lack of science-based guidelines.
"While this report does not have all the answers, it provides governments, producers and individuals with an evidence-based starting point to work together to transform our food systems and cultures."
What should be a discussion is turning into an argument.
If we're going to be able to feed everyone, ensure their diet is nutritionally balanced, and try to curb climate change, it's important that people start talking about the positives and negatives of their current diet. The report provides a sense of context to which people can compare and share their ideas and study.
People Are Roasting Trump Over His Mind-Numbing Observation About The Wetness Of Water ๐
Donald Trump thanked the first responders who came to the aid of victims of Hurricane Florence. The storm devastated portions of North Carolina, dumping massive amounts of rain and damaging millions of dollars in property. Many natural areas were destroyed, some farmers lost everything and more than a few people have been left homeless. The first responders after this massive storm were literal life savers, and Trump was absolutely right to thank them. Unfortunately, the sentiment of his message was lost for many people because he didn't seem to put any effort or preparation into what he was saying. Then, in the middle of his off-the-cuff message, he confused everyone by talking about the wetness of water.
Asย Trump described the storm and the importance of first responders he told the world:
This is a tough hurricane, one of the wettest we've ever seen from the standpoint of water. Rarely have we had an experience like it and it certainly is not good.
The Tweet went out in the middle of the day on Tuesday, September 18th. At the time of this article, it hasn't even been up for 24 hours and already has over 13,000 comments. Many of them pointed out how Trump didn't even seem to try...
and how asinine his description was.
We don't know if Trump will continue to address the public by releasing these kinds of videos, or if they will continue to be as unrehearsed as this one is. We assure you, if they are, Twitter will have plenty to say about it.
H/T: Huffington Post, Twitter
Disheartened Young Boy Calls 911 To Ask For Homework Help, And The Dispatcher Doesn't Miss A Beat โค๏ธ
When you're a kid stuck on a really difficult math problem, what can you do? It's not like you can dial 9-1-1 and get help, right?
Right?
Our dispatchers never know what the next call might be.They train for many emergency situations, homework help is nโฆ https://t.co/3t8eT975atโ LafayetteINPolice (@LafayetteINPolice) 1548447263.0
While it's not an endorsed solution, an Indiana boy did just that. On January 14th, he called emergency services due to difficulty with his homework.
The call was answered by Antonia Bundy, a dispatcher with Lafayette Police. Despite the situation being a little less dire than their typical call, Bundy assisted the boy.
The boy starts off the call explaining he "had a really bad day" because of his homework. Bundy asks about the subject he's having difficulty with. As she works through the problem with the boy, Bundy is very patient, not giving him the answer, but instead helping him come to it himself.
It's a really sweet clip to hear.
Boy calls 911 for homework help. So very sweet. https://t.co/RGcyWzbfHNโ Randy #RESISTS (@Randy #RESISTS) 1548714991.0
@merrythedog @LafayetteINPD @PoliceOne @apbweb @WLFI @WTHRcom This melts my heart, that little boy overcame an obstโฆ https://t.co/RYNCdqrTijโ Mindy reinhardt (@Mindy reinhardt) 1548635286.0
My heart goes out to this kid...sounds like he could have used a hug, too....... 911 dispatcher helps student withโฆ https://t.co/49wUeANFjpโ Elizabeth Llorente (@Elizabeth Llorente) 1548793518.0
Again, the department's statement on the situation stresses that 911 services are not for homework help. However, at the time the call was taken, the queue was sparse, and Bundy could see if anyone was on hold. She'd have been ready to help anyone else who called if necessary.
"She's very much a dedicated employee, it doesn't surprise us that she goes above and beyond on a regular basis,"
Said Sergeant Matt Gard of the Lafayette Police.
"They do receive some oddball requests, but this situation of calling asking for homework help โ I've been in law enforcement for 13 years and I don't know I've ever heard of this happening."
Bundy most certainly stepped up!
@LafayetteINPD @PoliceOne @apbweb @WLFI @WTHRcom I love this! I'm so happy this struggling child was not chastisedโฆ https://t.co/eoJEQcScp2โ Gail Burchette (@Gail Burchette) 1548700530.0
@Onlyabrit @LafayetteINPD @PoliceOne @apbweb @WLFI @WTHRcom So true.โ Helena Caesar (@Helena Caesar) 1548671811.0
Solid proof of good humans in this world https://t.co/H17OgFVCfdโ Jenny Lougheed (@Jenny Lougheed) 1548782808.0
@BichonMom3 @LafayetteINPD @PoliceOne @apbweb @WLFI @WTHRcom I was a latch key kid and it can get lonely. Thanks for helping this guy.โ Chris Fox (@Chris Fox) 1548696327.0
Though, if it were someone else, they might have shut this question down due to the fractions alone!
@_shireenahmed_ Couldnโt agree more! (PS I hated solving fractions too)โ James Tyler FC (@James Tyler FC) 1548783401.0
@nonfamousbot @LafayetteINPD @PoliceOne @apbweb @WLFI @WTHRcom poor kids!!โ Nawali โโ (@Nawali โโ) 1548685742.0
@LafayetteINPD @PoliceOne @apbweb @WLFI @WTHRcom Fractions suck, but always ask for help.โ ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐น๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ (@๐ฝ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐น๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐) 1548734529.0
@LafayetteINPD @PoliceOne @apbweb I couldn't be a 911 operator for various reasons but this is the worst case scenaโฆ https://t.co/DFsOak7QS1โ Julie Ann (@Julie Ann) 1548692353.0
At the end of the call, the boy apologizes for calling saying he "really needed help."
While Sgt. Gard is happy that Bundy was able to help and brighten this boy's day, he does want to stress the importance of when to call emergency services. Maybe the school can educate the kids on local homework help lines instead?
Michael C. Hall Is Starring In A One-Night-Only Broadway Musical About SkittlesโAnd No, We're Not Making This Up
Super Bowl Sunday: it's the only time when commercials are more popular than the show they interrupt. However, this year's best ad might not even be on TV.
Funny, irreverent, and sometimes controversial, Super Bowl ads have become as much of an event as the big game itself. Even those who don't watch football will tune in and watch as brands fight it out for the most talked about commercial of the year.
For advertisers though, getting your ad in front of one of the largest television audiences out there doesn't come cheap. A 30-second spot for this year could cost up to $5 million!
Candy maker Skittles decided to skip the Super Bowl and head for Broadway. For one-night-only, Skittles The Musical will appear on Broadway starring everyone's favorite serial killer, Dexter actor Michael C. Hall. No, we're not kidding.
The concept has so many people scratching their heads that Skittles needed to make another ad just to explain it.
Skittles The Musical ))) Starring Michael C. Hallwww.youtube.com
Anxious over appearing in the musical Hall sits down with a therapist, who like the rest of us is not exactly sure what it is. Hall explains the 30 minute advertisement is a real musical, you even have to buy tickets to go see it.
At one point Skittles even takes a self-deprecating jab at themselves and Hall, implying the musical is a terrible career decision.
After all, who is going to pay $207 a ticket to go see a 30 minute advertisement for Skittles?
A whole lot of people apparently
Tickets to the performance at the Town Hall theater in New York are almost sold out. People may not know what's going on, but they are ready to taste the rainbow.
@Skittles Iโm ready! Purchased my tickets #SkittlesTheMusicalโ Corey (@Corey) 1548091647.0
@playbill @Skittles https://t.co/uo9aLkDV2fโ robbie. (@robbie.) 1548135341.0
@playbill @Skittles My mind is blown and my heart is warmed. How fun! โBroadway the rainbowโ indeed โค๏ธ๐งก๐๐๐๐โ Allison Wonderland (@Allison Wonderland) 1548185407.0
If someone takes me to see skittles the musical I'll love them forever.โ โBambiโ (@โBambiโ) 1548218569.0
On its surface Skittles The Musical may just look like an over the top gag from a brand known for its unusual marketing, but Skittles recruited some serious Broadway talent to put it together including playwright Will Eno and a cast straight from some of the biggest shows on Broadway.
According to Skittles the show will take "an absurdly self-reflective look at consumerism and the ever-increasing pervasiveness of brand advertising in our lives."
And if that wasn't enough Skittles will also be donating all the proceeds from the show to Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. Skittles parent company will match that donation up to $50,000. You had our attention Skittles, now you have our interest.
Wait so rather than spend a bucket load of ๐ฐto take out a 30sec ad during the SuperBowl, @Skittles will present a Lโฆ https://t.co/OVnNQfQ506โ Christopher D. Clegg (@Christopher D. Clegg) 1548096836.0
@cadimy @playbill @Skittles If you read the article, it addresses that they're doing a short show in lieu of a supeโฆ https://t.co/3Hxm2lNLyIโ a dope ghost (@a dope ghost) 1548094203.0
@lnternetqueer @playbill @Skittles well that's quite neat!โ ๐ฆ (@๐ฆ) 1548094980.0
There is no telling how a commercial/Broadway musical from the bizarre minds over at Skittles will turn out, but it's guaranteed to be an performace like Broadway has never seen before.