Flying can be enjoyable as you watch the world below shrink as you ascend above the clouds. It can also be difficult and a fair test of one's patience. If this writer has any flight advice it would be one—even though it looks appetizing don't eat the airport sushi during a layover.
Two—please keep your shoes on—the rest of us, including the attendants, can indeed feel our noses burning. They have to deal with enough during the flights, let's not add olfactory assault to the list. But seriously... leave the sushi alone, grab a nice-made pretzel instead.
Redditor theburiedsalmon asked:
“Flight Attendants and/or Pilots of Reddit, what are some things passengers do that get on your nerves?
Flight attendants jumped on this question ready to dish on their biggest pet peeves and worst experiences.
Gross...
“Leaving a ridiculous amount of garbage behind. Last week I had a grown a** couple spit huge globs of gum onto the floor and then step on it to try to rub it in. Like seriously? Why? And getting up to use the bathroom when we're already descending."
Keep it in your pants ya’ll...
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“As a former FA—Don't try to join the mile high club. Just, stop."
“Don't have sex in the bathrooms y'all. No, you aren't being very quiet and yes we will know and depending on the airline policy we'll also have to politely ask you to knock it off and keep it in your pants."
“Not to mention the obvious - airplane lavs are ridiculously tiny, to the point where once on one long haul we had to make an emergency landing because a large couple couldn't get out of the lav they had shoved themselves into once they were done."
“I'll add that this is THE grossest place to possibly want to do the deed, as lavs NEVER GET DEEP-CLEANED, EVER (between same-day legs)"
“I know what your hand motions mean and I will have to come over and shut it down, especially because in most cases there are families with kids sitting behind or near you."
15 years in...
“Former flight attendant here... 15 years I've seen it all! (and sorry for the formatting, on mobile)
- Walking throughout the aircraft barefoot. Especially into the toilets... Those floors are not as clean as you think they are!
- People who talk to us and treat us like scum. And yes, we'll provide better service to the ones who are nice or think of them first when a whole row is free and they need to lie down and sleep during an 11hr flight.
- Parents that don't watch their kids during the flight. The aircraft isn't childproof and there's a surprising amount of things they can injure themselves on.
- Passengers who do aircraft yoga during the service. By all means, if lights are off and it's quiet go ahead, but if there's a buzz of activity near the galley then maybe wait a while.
- Speaking of which, assuming the galley is free for all. Sometimes we don't get provided crew food for work and bring our own. If we're busy attending to a call bell and can't finish out snack or whatever... It's not for you to just grab and eat... At least ask first!
- Complaining about how rough the flight was. I've had some cuss out the flight deck about their abilities because the aircraft hit wake turbulence... If you can magically see wake turbulence on a tiny monitor and think you can do a better job then join a flight academy, pay several thousand dollars for the training and certification and do it yourself..."
"I left Aviation in August (because of you-know-what) but that's just what I can recall from the top of my head..."
"If you'd love to really show appreciation for your flight crew, particularly when many are so close to redundancy, a complement really makes a difference. A 15 min email to the Service Delivery department of the airline you flew with praising the crew who went above or beyond on your flight can do wonders for their career progression. I do it for service staff all the time at restaurants and the hotels we stayed at, and having them remember you after months or years due to your comments is simply priceless."
*screams in sarcasm*
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“Did you know that the closer you stand to the baggage claim carousel, the faster your bag arrives? It's science. Look it up.
Warp speed for the ones that let their kids on the carousel!"
You’re going to want a buffer.
“If you are booking a connecting flight and the connection times are 30min or 2 hours. Pick the 2 hour connection. I can't stand passengers who get all upset when they miss their connecting flight because they booked themselves a 30min connection."
“Your stressful travel day will be a little less stressful knowing you have a buffer. If you happen to land on time or even early, sit down at a restaurant, go for a walk, people watch, find your next flight's gate and watch a movie there, etc."
People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday
Repeat after me: Keep your hands to yourself!
“Poking or grabbing at me to get my attention!! And it's usually on my @ss as it's eye level with most people haha. But for real DON'T poke people! Especially if I am speaking to another passenger."
“I can see you waving at me I'm not going to interrupt my assisting someone else because you want me to take your trash, just give me a second and I'll come to you next. I promise can hear you if you say 'excuse me!' Or 'Miss!' Or even wave a little in my direction. There's just no need to touch people or grab at them."
“Once I was so irritated at someone's incessant poking, I turned, looked them in the eye and poke poke poked them right back and said, 'what do you need.'"
“Slip me a twenty instead...”
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“Stop expecting free alcohol because you handed me a three dollar bag of candy you bought in the airport. I'm a grown *ss man. You didn't make my day by giving me a Hershey's kiss. Slip me a twenty instead. I'll give you an open bar the rest of the flight.“
“If you are nice I am happy to walk the extra mile for you.”
“Gosh where to start. I'd say one of the most irritating and annoying thing is when people ignore or fight our instructions concerning safety regulations. I do not enjoy telling you that you can't have your bag in an exit row, that you need to put your important laptop away for takeoff and landing and that you should stay seated when the seatbelt sign is on. And no it is not negotiable. No reason to get insulting or treat us like sh*t."
“Drunken behaviour. When you start getting aggressive for not getting anymore booze, we know it's the right call. It is neither fun for us or the people sitting in your vicinity. From harassment, cussing, aggressive behavior, throwing up, or loud terrible singing/howling on a long-haul night flight. Same for medications taken with alcohol."
"If you are nice I am happy to walk the extra mile for you. Having a free seat next to you, a drink I don't have in my cart atm, extra snacks, etc. But being an @ss for things I can't change won't help anyone. Yes, I do see you are flying with an infant and I would love to give you a whole seat row but the flight is fully booked."
"You have a certain allergy and can't eat any of the foods offered and have not ordered a special meal before flight? We have only the foods onboard which were loaded and I can't create or order any mid-flight."
"The bar carts are heavy and the airplane has basically always an incline angle. Please move out of the way and go use the restroom before we are blocking your way."
"Feet in the isles during night flights. The cabin lights are dimmed and i do understand your need for stretching your legs but it is a trip hazard for us. There have been colleagues which broke bones for tripping over feet and legs in the dark."
The list doesn’t end there...
“Parents which let their kids do whatever they want. I almost had to cancel a takeoff once because a toddler was crawling in the isle just because mom said he won't sit still shortly before takeoff. Disregarding that on takeoff roll he could have gotten severely injured."
“And please bring everything you need for your kids. Diapers, food, milk. We have some items to help you out when you run out but not to supply everything for infants for the entire flight. And tray tables and seats are not changing tables. Gross. Please use the ones in the restrooms."
“And yes i cringe seeing ppl run around barefoot especially near/in restrooms. I sometimes can't understand what happened in there but its gross. And well I bet in almost every aircraft are restrooms where someone couldn't make it to it in time and vomitted right in front of it."
"You are a guest on board. A very valued guest. But please behave as such. You have passenger bins and your seat area. Don't open other cabinets or lockers. Don't help yourself to anything which isn't obviously on display for you. And if in doubt ask first."
"We had passengers eating the homemade lunch of a colleague in Tupperware. Someone took a bite from a piece of cheese which my colleague already had a bite from and placed it back, etc
"All that said I have had as well super amazing passengers. A lot of laughs, people who forgave me for drenching them with sprite or redwine, offering help to me in certain situations, etc."
"Flying since 2012"
“I am not your grandchild, I am your captain.”
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“After a flight I usually stand by the flight deck and say good bye to the passengers as they exit. I get a lot of people that ask how old I am. That doesn't really bother me (I'll probably be sad when it stops), but please don't touch me as you are saying it. Seriously, strangers trying to pinch cheeks and pat my head. Lady, I'm not your grandchild, I'm your captain."
General advice? Listen to and be respectful to your flight attendants...and seriously stay out of the bathroom unless you need it—don't be the couple that needs to be peeled out of the loo.
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Kids say the cutest things, don't they?
Their unfiltered observations about life's many mysteries can be downright hilarious and serve as reminders of their pure innocence.
But it's less forgivable when adults make naive comments because, well, shouldn't they know better?
That's not always the case, however.
Curious to hear ridiculous examples of the things grown people say, Redditor Automatic_Hedgehog71 asked:
"What is the silliest statement you have ever heard someone make?"
Some people should really think twice before opening their mouth.
Work Of Art
"'How did they get the paint all the way up the sides?' -Middle-aged woman touring the Meteor Crater in AZ."
“'That’s not paint, those are the actual colors of the rock' -Her husband, giving her a long stare and walking away."
– ghostbungalow
For Trial And Error
"I had a boss say 'oh you don’t want kids, you should just have one to try it out.'"
"Really, and what happens if I find out that I truly don’t want kids? Can we just put it back where it came from?"
– tyintegra
Confused Soldier
"I worked at a place that gave a military discount."
"Family (mom, dad, adult son, adult daughter) walked in. Dad was reading the prices and pointed out to the son that he could get a discount!"
"This kid takes the sign, reads it, and says, as God is my witness:"
"I'm not in the military. I'm in the Army."
– JustMeerkats
To Live Or Let Die
"Someone once told me that paramedics/nurses/doctors are not allowed to do CPR on someone they know because it’s 'a conflict of interest.'”
– corviknight2259
It's a wonder how some people manage to live in the real world.
Know Your Audience When Using Big Words
"Sat down to eat with a friend. I said 'I'm famished' she looked at me, laughed and LOUDLY she said to me 'I swear you make up words sometimes.'"
– NotBadSinger514
"Oh man people say this to me all the time! Why did I read books and learn so many words, when no one understands them, and I really didn't think they were so pretentious, words like Famished."
– Person_Letter_629
Not Icarus
"A friend of mine said she got more tanned when riding her bike than she did when walking because on her bike, she was 'closer to the sun.'"
– Five_Star_Amenities
"This just reminded me of a time I was out on a boat with a big group of people and one of them said 'I’m so glad it’s windy, I won’t get sunburned' they thought the wind would push the light away from their skin. I was the only one to say it definitely doesn’t work like that and I could tell they thought I was wrong."
– Thbbbt_Thbbbt
The Symptoms Indicate Otherwise
"Earlier today I offered a cough drop upon my flight’s landing to the lady wet coughing right behind me the whole flight."
'Oh, no thanks, I’m not sick. I just went to Oregon and have felt awful the whole time since.'
"Okay…so…sick"
– ACaparzo
Completely Lost
"A friend once said she couldn't take Southwest Airlines because she was flying east to Florida."
– ProudCatLadyxo
"How do they get the planes back? Do they repaint them as Northeast? Or do they just push them?"
– ch4m3le0n
"They just keep flying south until they come back around."
– frymeyourpoop
A Silly Sports Spectator Said
"I was at a baseball game in Cincinnati and the teenage girl behind turned to her friend and said 'this is so cool, it's almost like we're watching it live.' I think about that a lot."
"EDIT: based on the look of the girls and their other conversations this was no joke, there was no laughing either. Don't remember the exact year but flip phones were the most common cell phone and we had seats in the outfield so she didn't appear to be watching the game thru her phone. This also wasn't the first time that day where I heard them say something and I stopped what I was doing and stared straight into space, just the most memorable. They seemed like nice enough girls, no malicious or rude conversations, it just appeared like they lacked some basic intelligence for some relatively simple concepts."
– Michael_With_An_M
You can't be difficult and clueless at the same time, can you?
Observe exhibits A, B, & C.
Unpalatable Texture
"A woman tried to send back a dish. She didn’t understand the components of it and tried to tell me that she couldn’t eat it because she was allergic to crunchy. Like yeah the texture. Not the ingredient that we had made crunchy."
– BuckleupBirds
"LMAO. Makes me feel better about the guy who asked a friend (server) for ‘Mushroom risotto, but without the rice’."
– Mavises
I'll Have The Pie And Ice Cream With A Side Of Ice Cream
"Had an older family member that back in the day went to a diner and ordered the 'pie a la mode' from the menu. He then proceeded to ask the waitress if they could put a little ice cream on top of that. : )"
– Fluffing_Satan
My husband and I were walking around a gift shop in Solvang, CA, and marveling at some of the various tchotchkes.
One of them was a MOVA globe.
MOVA globes are usually about the size of a softball held up by three small supports, and they rotate without the use of electrical wires or batteries.
Instead, they're powered by the combination of solar cells and torque from the earth's magnetic field. We didn't know this at the time, however.
When a worker nearby saw us being mesmerized by the shelf of spinning globes, he commented, "Cool, right?"
And I replied, "Yeah, how does it work?"
The dude gave a sly smile and said:
"It's an optical delusion."
Or illusion...
We all have various brands and businesses we tend to prefer over others.
Sometimes, we might not patronize these businesses because they have a superior product, but because they might seem more trustworthy than their competitors.
Indeed, some people have had such terrible experiences with companies, even some esteemed corporations, that they went running from them straight into the arms of one of their rivals.
Vowing that they would never, ever spend money on this company ever again.
Redditor SignificantClick8284 was eager to hear which companies people have zero trust in, leading them to ask:
"What company will you never trust again?"
Their Poor Communication Is Kind Of Ironic...
"Comcast."
"Their agents will lie to your face and act like you're in the wrong when called out."- bigdammit
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Not A Place To Spend Or Save Your Money...
"Ashley Furniture."
"Joke of a company."
"Bank of America - also scum."- KrankOverman
Better Question, What Question Will You EVER Trust Again...
"Unfurls paper scroll that stretches to the floor and rolls out the door."
"Ahem."- djb2589
"I see no reason to trust any company."- lycos94
When The Conformation Email Is Moot...
"Booking.com."
"I 'booked' through them just to find out that the hotel had no record of my reservation."
"Then I spent an hour in the lobby trying to get them on the phone, just to find out the price wouldn’t be honored and have them try to sell me another nearby hotel room."
"Nightmare."- DuncanAerilious
"Oh, oh The Well's Fargo Wagon Is A Comin'..."
"Wells Fargo."- clubberlang2005
"Yup."
"I was one of the WF customers who suddenly had 3 mystery WF accounts under my name."
"This was prior to the court case so I went in to my branch to ask WTF."
"The manager said the guy who set up those accounts was the same guy that setup my original 2 accounts - a checking and savings account."
"That a-hole tried to make it sound like he was doing me a favor by setting up all these accounts."
"Making it worse he says I need to login to my account in order for him to remove the other 3 accounts."
"He hands me that password box, I enter my password and he says 'that's an easy one to remember'."
"Is that your favorite band?'"
"After he said that I asked for the branch manager and told him what just happened and that I was closing all of my accounts'."- thescreamingstone
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"That's All Folks!"
"ACME."
"Every f8cking thing."
"From anvils to bat suits to zoot suits always FAIL."- alien_survivor
Not Equipped For The Digital Age
"HP."
"Thier printers (large and small format) are all complete trash that require constant upkeep."- Bluegrass_Barbarian
Pictures And Fine Print Can Be Misleading...
"Airbnb."- pkovach64
"My wife and I were drinking and got pretty drunk at an Airbnb and without letting us know the hosts sent a bunch of people to the property to refill the propane and other stuff."
"They came into the house while we were drunk and half-naked and were catcalling my wife in front of me."
"This was a pretty big and well-known group operating in Tennesee."
"From what we found out this is extremely common."- Huge-Plantain-8418
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Analog Has Its Benefits...
"EA."- bullet312
"I lost all my sims sh*t because I hadn't logged in for more than 6 months."
"EA told me to reset my password so that they could restore my account."
"They kept saying the link was in my email, but it never came."
"Kept calling to try to get the issue fixed over a few weeks, then I realized they were just d*cking me around."
"F*ck EA."- MotherOfDogs1872
And To Think They're Supposed To Help You...
"Any insurance company."
"Especially health and homeowners."- carolizzy81
FalsE Advertising
"Nabisco."
"They took double stuffed Oreos, reduced the amount of cream to the same as the regular Oreos, and are still selling them as double stuffed, and are charging double stuffed prices!"
"The betrayal is unforgivable."- It_Wasnt_Me79
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As If Taxes Aren't Annoying Enough...
"Jackson Hewitt!"
"Had our taxes done a while back, and the tax preparer asked if we wanted the $200 cash advance."
"We did not."
"She then proceeded to change our information and use hers to get the temporary card with the advance."
'She then used an ATM to withdraw cash."
"She was arrested, but getting a refund was like pulling teeth from a hen."
'They didn't believe that it happened even though we had the paperwork with the tax preparer's information on it."
"It was a frigging nightmare!"
"Oh, I almost forgot she added me to the return and said I was the sister instead of the mom, so we ended up owing $1500 on top of the bullsh*t from the tax preparer."
"I do our taxes now."- RoguePhoenix259
People like to know when they're spending money that it's going somewhere they can trust.
Especially if their money is going somewhere that is supposed to keep their money safe, to begin with...
People's Wildest 'WTF Is Wrong With You?' Experiences