Flying can be enjoyable as you watch the world below shrink as you ascend above the clouds. It can also be difficult and a fair test of one's patience. If this writer has any flight advice it would be one—even though it looks appetizing don't eat the airport sushi during a layover.
Two—please keep your shoes on—the rest of us, including the attendants, can indeed feel our noses burning. They have to deal with enough during the flights, let's not add olfactory assault to the list. But seriously... leave the sushi alone, grab a nice-made pretzel instead.
Redditor theburiedsalmon asked:
“Flight Attendants and/or Pilots of Reddit, what are some things passengers do that get on your nerves?
Flight attendants jumped on this question ready to dish on their biggest pet peeves and worst experiences.
Gross...
“Leaving a ridiculous amount of garbage behind. Last week I had a grown a** couple spit huge globs of gum onto the floor and then step on it to try to rub it in. Like seriously? Why? And getting up to use the bathroom when we're already descending."
Keep it in your pants ya’ll...
Flying Las Vegas GIF by IFC
Giphy
“As a former FA—Don't try to join the mile high club. Just, stop."
“Don't have sex in the bathrooms y'all. No, you aren't being very quiet and yes we will know and depending on the airline policy we'll also have to politely ask you to knock it off and keep it in your pants."
“Not to mention the obvious - airplane lavs are ridiculously tiny, to the point where once on one long haul we had to make an emergency landing because a large couple couldn't get out of the lav they had shoved themselves into once they were done."
“I'll add that this is THE grossest place to possibly want to do the deed, as lavs NEVER GET DEEP-CLEANED, EVER (between same-day legs)"
“I know what your hand motions mean and I will have to come over and shut it down, especially because in most cases there are families with kids sitting behind or near you."
15 years in...
“Former flight attendant here... 15 years I've seen it all! (and sorry for the formatting, on mobile)
- Walking throughout the aircraft barefoot. Especially into the toilets... Those floors are not as clean as you think they are!
- People who talk to us and treat us like scum. And yes, we'll provide better service to the ones who are nice or think of them first when a whole row is free and they need to lie down and sleep during an 11hr flight.
- Parents that don't watch their kids during the flight. The aircraft isn't childproof and there's a surprising amount of things they can injure themselves on.
- Passengers who do aircraft yoga during the service. By all means, if lights are off and it's quiet go ahead, but if there's a buzz of activity near the galley then maybe wait a while.
- Speaking of which, assuming the galley is free for all. Sometimes we don't get provided crew food for work and bring our own. If we're busy attending to a call bell and can't finish out snack or whatever... It's not for you to just grab and eat... At least ask first!
- Complaining about how rough the flight was. I've had some cuss out the flight deck about their abilities because the aircraft hit wake turbulence... If you can magically see wake turbulence on a tiny monitor and think you can do a better job then join a flight academy, pay several thousand dollars for the training and certification and do it yourself..."
"I left Aviation in August (because of you-know-what) but that's just what I can recall from the top of my head..."
"If you'd love to really show appreciation for your flight crew, particularly when many are so close to redundancy, a complement really makes a difference. A 15 min email to the Service Delivery department of the airline you flew with praising the crew who went above or beyond on your flight can do wonders for their career progression. I do it for service staff all the time at restaurants and the hotels we stayed at, and having them remember you after months or years due to your comments is simply priceless."
*screams in sarcasm*
baggage claim kramer GIF by HULU
Giphy
“Did you know that the closer you stand to the baggage claim carousel, the faster your bag arrives? It's science. Look it up.
Warp speed for the ones that let their kids on the carousel!"
You’re going to want a buffer.
“If you are booking a connecting flight and the connection times are 30min or 2 hours. Pick the 2 hour connection. I can't stand passengers who get all upset when they miss their connecting flight because they booked themselves a 30min connection."
“Your stressful travel day will be a little less stressful knowing you have a buffer. If you happen to land on time or even early, sit down at a restaurant, go for a walk, people watch, find your next flight's gate and watch a movie there, etc."
People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday
Repeat after me: Keep your hands to yourself!
“Poking or grabbing at me to get my attention!! And it's usually on my @ss as it's eye level with most people haha. But for real DON'T poke people! Especially if I am speaking to another passenger."
“I can see you waving at me I'm not going to interrupt my assisting someone else because you want me to take your trash, just give me a second and I'll come to you next. I promise can hear you if you say 'excuse me!' Or 'Miss!' Or even wave a little in my direction. There's just no need to touch people or grab at them."
“Once I was so irritated at someone's incessant poking, I turned, looked them in the eye and poke poke poked them right back and said, 'what do you need.'"
“Slip me a twenty instead...”
Turn Up Money GIF by Joel Byars
Giphy
“Stop expecting free alcohol because you handed me a three dollar bag of candy you bought in the airport. I'm a grown *ss man. You didn't make my day by giving me a Hershey's kiss. Slip me a twenty instead. I'll give you an open bar the rest of the flight.“
“If you are nice I am happy to walk the extra mile for you.”
“Gosh where to start. I'd say one of the most irritating and annoying thing is when people ignore or fight our instructions concerning safety regulations. I do not enjoy telling you that you can't have your bag in an exit row, that you need to put your important laptop away for takeoff and landing and that you should stay seated when the seatbelt sign is on. And no it is not negotiable. No reason to get insulting or treat us like sh*t."
“Drunken behaviour. When you start getting aggressive for not getting anymore booze, we know it's the right call. It is neither fun for us or the people sitting in your vicinity. From harassment, cussing, aggressive behavior, throwing up, or loud terrible singing/howling on a long-haul night flight. Same for medications taken with alcohol."
"If you are nice I am happy to walk the extra mile for you. Having a free seat next to you, a drink I don't have in my cart atm, extra snacks, etc. But being an @ss for things I can't change won't help anyone. Yes, I do see you are flying with an infant and I would love to give you a whole seat row but the flight is fully booked."
"You have a certain allergy and can't eat any of the foods offered and have not ordered a special meal before flight? We have only the foods onboard which were loaded and I can't create or order any mid-flight."
"The bar carts are heavy and the airplane has basically always an incline angle. Please move out of the way and go use the restroom before we are blocking your way."
"Feet in the isles during night flights. The cabin lights are dimmed and i do understand your need for stretching your legs but it is a trip hazard for us. There have been colleagues which broke bones for tripping over feet and legs in the dark."
The list doesn’t end there...
“Parents which let their kids do whatever they want. I almost had to cancel a takeoff once because a toddler was crawling in the isle just because mom said he won't sit still shortly before takeoff. Disregarding that on takeoff roll he could have gotten severely injured."
“And please bring everything you need for your kids. Diapers, food, milk. We have some items to help you out when you run out but not to supply everything for infants for the entire flight. And tray tables and seats are not changing tables. Gross. Please use the ones in the restrooms."
“And yes i cringe seeing ppl run around barefoot especially near/in restrooms. I sometimes can't understand what happened in there but its gross. And well I bet in almost every aircraft are restrooms where someone couldn't make it to it in time and vomitted right in front of it."
"You are a guest on board. A very valued guest. But please behave as such. You have passenger bins and your seat area. Don't open other cabinets or lockers. Don't help yourself to anything which isn't obviously on display for you. And if in doubt ask first."
"We had passengers eating the homemade lunch of a colleague in Tupperware. Someone took a bite from a piece of cheese which my colleague already had a bite from and placed it back, etc
"All that said I have had as well super amazing passengers. A lot of laughs, people who forgave me for drenching them with sprite or redwine, offering help to me in certain situations, etc."
"Flying since 2012"
“I am not your grandchild, I am your captain.”
the princess bride cheek pinch GIF
Giphy
“After a flight I usually stand by the flight deck and say good bye to the passengers as they exit. I get a lot of people that ask how old I am. That doesn't really bother me (I'll probably be sad when it stops), but please don't touch me as you are saying it. Seriously, strangers trying to pinch cheeks and pat my head. Lady, I'm not your grandchild, I'm your captain."
General advice? Listen to and be respectful to your flight attendants...and seriously stay out of the bathroom unless you need it—don't be the couple that needs to be peeled out of the loo.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.
More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.
Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.
Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.
Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:
"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"
Don't Give Me So Much Credit...
'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."
"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."
"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."
"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"
"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher
Eternal Optimism...
"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."
"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465
Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...
"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”
"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”
"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia
Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office
Giphy
Double Whammy!
"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."
"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93
Can't Hide Your DNA...
'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."
"She cracked the code."
"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93
Self-Sufficient!
"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."
"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."
"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'
"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody
Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations
Giphy
A Miracle!
"My brother-in-law’s comment."
"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."
"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."
"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."
"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."
"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."
"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"
"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn
Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...
"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."
"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."
"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."
"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."
"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379
Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K.
Giphy
A Bit Too On The Nose?
"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."
"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."
"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."
"'What would you expect to find there?'"
"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB
Not Yet, Anyway...
"I was working with my friend and his dad."
"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."
"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."
"His dad asked, 'what for?'"
"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."
"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890
Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...
"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."
"She told this story to him:"
"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."
"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."
"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."
"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."
"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."
"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."
"She asked him what was wrong."
“'What’s wrong???'"
"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714
On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO
Giphy
Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...
"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."
"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52
Read The Room People!
"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."
"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."
"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"
"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl
There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".
As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.
Teachers are meant to impart knowledge to the next generation, but they have to get the kids to pay attention first.
Not an easy task.
So many, too many schools are plagued by kids who have no self-control.
Teachers end up playing referee, counselor, and parent in addition to their teaching role.
All of those additional hats don't come with any additional pay.
It's no wonder we're in a teacher shortage.
Redditor _Planet_Mars_ wanted the teachers out there to share some rough student stories, so they asked:
"Teachers, what is the worst thing you've seen a student do?"
I once saw a kid drive their car into the school office.
They were drunk.
Thankfully no one was injured.
POP!
"The was a loud pop and a flash in the back corner of the classroom. I asked the student sitting there what happened. She said it was firecrackers. I sent her to the office. While she was still in the office, I realized the electrical outlets in the room didn’t work. At that point, another student fessed up that the student sent to the office had put a pair of scissors in the outlet. I’m not sure why that student thought it was better to lie and claim she was doing fireworks inside the school?"
mynamelessname
Pain
"When I was teaching preschool, I had a little girl, between 3-4, walk up to another girl who was sitting on the rug reading a book, grab her by the hair and slam her head into the wall. They hadn’t been interacting in any way prior. When I asked her why she did it, she said she 'wanted her to know it hurts.'"
No-Doubt-8748
That Kid
"A different type of bad than most of these."
"I was a teacher at a poor inner-city school. I had a lot of wonderful students but some difficult ones. One was the worst — bright but was always sleeping through class and acting up and never doing homework. I lived about 30 minutes away. One night, I stopped by the local Wawa after a night out with friends. Was at least 11:30 pm and I was already dreading the early morning drive to school. And who should be checking me out but my own 'problem' student."
"He was working late to make money for his family and then getting home at 1:00 am or later before heading into school on 4-5 hours of sleep. He was a smart kid. Really smart. I hope things worked out for him but I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if he’d been allowed to have a childhood and focus on his education."
Low_Cartographer2944
Blame the Heat
Sweating James Mcavoy GIF
Giphy
"It gets very hot here in the warmer months and so the school put out those big containers for water for everyone. Well, one student was caught peeing into a bag and dumping it into the containers."
huzzahserrah
Some kids really need some deeper therapy.
Peeing in bags? Seriously?!
From Beneath
"My wife is an elementary teacher and has a kid this year that likes to slip under their desk and lick toes (we live in a warm state) and they all think he will grow up to be a creeper."
CherryManhattan
BOOM
"This was the worst thing I know of that happened at my high school."
"Someone brought a blasting cap to school (OK, that's a bit dumb), and flushed it down the toilet (that's REALLY dumb). Then told a teacher about it, because maybe it wasn't such a good idea (their best idea that day, really)."
"Wound up with that restroom being taken out of service while the fire department x-rayed the plumbing to find and remove the (admittedly tiny) explosive. Took several weeks before it was back in service."
gogstars
Sad
"My favorite teacher in high school was a very kind a lenient man. Do your work, be respectful, and follow the major school rules and you and him would be cool. The one thing that would seem minor, but that he was very strict about was taking any medication in any way shape, or form in his classroom."
"One day, I needed to take some Advil for cramps and asked to take it. He said I needed to go to the nurse for permission. I ended up asking him why he was so strict about it. it turns out, he had a student pass out in class one day at his former school. He tried to wake her up and called the nurse, but she wouldn't wake up. They called 911 and by the time they got there, she had died of an OD on narcotics she took in the bathroom that she had hidden in a Tylenol bottle. I don't know how he went back to teaching after that."
musical-nerd24601
Painful
Moving Season 2 GIF by Paramount+
Giphy
"Saw a 4-year-old purposely push a piece of furniture over onto another 4-year-old at preschool. It actually really hurt the other kid, and her parents took the school to court."
MPD1987
Kids are brutal.
No wonder people home school.
