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Ex-Cons Reveal What The Hardest Habits To Break After Being Released From Prison

Ex-Cons Reveal What The Hardest Habits To Break After Being Released From Prison

Ex-Cons Reveal The Prison Habits They Had Trouble Letting Go Of After Their Release

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_Prison is a no joke, no fun situation, and surviving prison is a miracle unto itself. One's life as an inmate is not their own. Your every second is monitored, accounted for and controlled. Each person who lives has to figure out ways to get through and survive and if possible, thrive. There are a ton of daily quirks and routines you pick up along the way. Some you don't even notice until you breath free air again. _

Redditor _\KimJongChilled _**wanted to know **Ex-cons of Reddit: What was the hardest prison-habit to break after being released? **_Some of the answers will surprise you. _**

ONLY PLASTICS FOR YOU FRIEND!

Staring at sharp things. Like there is no desire to use them inappropriately but you are just kinda shocked they're there and available for use. You might be surprised what qualifies as a sharp object. I remember whenever someone tried to hand me a knife or something to cut veggies I'd be afraid to touch it. Glass was the biggest thing though, just mirrors in all the bathrooms. real ones. I could smash that shit and have a big jagged weapon, i cant believe this italian restaurant has such a dangerous thing in their bathroom. stopping thinking of objects as weapons is hard.

THANKS FOR SHARING...

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Going to poop with my underwear up to my thighs to hide my junk. It took a long time to go back to pants around the ankles.

YOU MAY HAVE SECONDS AND THIRDS...

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One of my foster sons came to us from juvie. Every meal his arm was around his plate and he woofed down his food. My mastiff couldn't keep up. He always ate back to the wall hunched. Took my wife and I a month to show him no one would take his food and we had plenty more. Funny part is he went in the Marines and did 8 years got out honorable and is now working in corrections.

HOARDERS: PRISON EDITION.

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I don't smoke, but every time someone offered me a cig I would pocket it. on the inside thats a bartering chip, took me about a month or two to break.

NOTHING WRONG WITH A NEVER NUDE.

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Not wearing shoes in the shower. Eating with forks and knives. Having salt and pepper for food. Not always having to watch your back. Being able to get food when you want it, and just get up and leave to go for a drive or something.

THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE...

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Constantly looking over my shoulder. By far the hardest conditioning to break, which I haven't and doubt I ever will, is the constant pessimism and cautious optimism. You see, when you're waiting to work your way through court, get a deal, and get sentenced, you will have your dates changed 50 times, hope for certain things only to be disappointed, and any time you are told something hopeful it doesn't work out.

As a result, I never get excited for something until it actually happens. When my wife told me we were pregnant (I already knew from her symptoms that she was but still, you never know for sure till you take the test), I was obviously happy, but because I'm always cautiously optimistic and rarely show emotion, I couldn't feel comfortable or excited until I knew that my developing daughter was healthy. Even then, it didn't really hit me till she was born.

You can apply this to anything especially big events. Getting engaged, planning the wedding, buying a house, ANYTHING. I still hear from my wife how i wasn't crazy surprised or excited to be having a kid. I was, I actually was the half of the relationship who was dead set on a kid when my wife supposedly could've gone either way.

You just can't get your hopes up or look forward to anything until it is here or has happened. I've been home over 7 years now and with my wife for 6.5. She's truly the catalyst that motivated me to truly change my life and to not give any more of my life to the system, but she'll never know how happy she makes me because she misinterprets my cautious optimism/realism for pessimism or indifference.

SPOONS UP!

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I didn't use a fork for a few weeks. Ate everything with a spoon without thinking. It's not the most interesting thing but I hadn't noticed it posted here.

NECESSITIES ARE VITAL...

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Hoard feminine hygiene products. We were super limited on the number of pads or tampons they gave us. They didn't give any to the women in holding cells. There was dried and fresh menstrual blood on the floor and concrete benches, and a drain in the middle of the rooms like they intended to hose down the room, but if they did it was not often enough.

JUST CHANGING LIFE IN GENERAL.

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I eat fast.

I don't sit with my back to the door in public.

I always scan crowds constantly.

I question WHY people are nice to me.

I carry extra clothes, water, and various other things in my car in case I need it. (Not a hoarder but harder to get rid of stuff)

I don't like being away from home overnight.

I also quit eating boiled eggs, I over season my food, and I refuse to drink Kool-Aid anymore.

LIVING WITH THE SILENCE.

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Not an ex con but my step dad has been in and out of prison for the majority of his life, he always said that whenever he gets out of prison you're so use to to it being loud all the time that when he got home he couldn't sleep because it was so quiet.

WHY JUST ONE LEG?

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Dude I work with said for the first little bit after getting out he would take a leg out of his pants when he'd poop. Not sure how common that was, dude's a fighter though, so maybe that had something to do with it.

NOBODY'S WATCHING...

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I was only locked up for four months in total, all things considered I got off easy. Hardest habit to break was just doing something without telling someone else. Hard to remember that there's no authority figure once you're out.

LUXURIATING IS A GIFT...

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Taking as long as you want in the shower. For the longest time after I got out, I took less than 5 minute showers.

EVERY MOMENT COUNTS, USE THEM WISELY...

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I had to completely change my sense of time. I agree with all the people who said they ate super fast, but then we would slow walk back from the chow hall- any excuse for a few minutes more outside.

I made sure I never consolidated enjoyable things. If I had a snack- I ate it and concentrated on it. If there was something good on TV, I watched it. Now, I'll snack while I watch a movie because there aren't enough hours in the day- but on the inside I was trying to make hours and days go away.

I've got a good job now, and nice respectable friends, but I still react to confrontational situations more quickly, decisively and... efficiently than they do. I'm able to pull back at the last minute, but it's pretty clear that violence is not a tool in their arsenal.

JUST GO ABOUT YOUR DAY.

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I spent 72 months in prison for a tragic car accident that I had caused. After I was released I kept telling my wife exactly what I was doing without her asking. She thought it was funny at first but after a few weeks of it she was starting to get bothered.

THE MENU HAS BROADENED.

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Making prison commissary-only food. Everyone around me thinks it is gross as hell to throw summer sausages, pickles, cheese, doritos, cheetos, and such into my ramen noodles, but good lord, I can't stop, and I have been out for five years.

STOP THE OVERLAPPING!

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Doing laps. In prison, every time you get time on the yard, you do laps. Seriously, almost every single person does it too. When you get out, it's hard to break that habit.

GOOD NIGHT SWEET PRINCE...

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My ex would sleep a certain way all the time. To me it seemed like he was sleeping as if he was in a coffin,his arms crossed and wouldn't move the entire night for a couple months. He eventually broke that habit.

JUST GIVE SOMEONE A CHANCE.

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A somewhat-friend of mine did a few years and the one habit he couldn't shake was distrusting people.

He said that people in prison are never nice, if they're nice it's because of a hidden motive. Up to this day he still doesn't trust people who act nice / generous / helpful / .. towards him.

SOMETIMES YOU FIND GOOD HABITS IN THE STRANGEST PLACES....

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I did almost seven years. Been out two years. I'm 35. From Wisconsin. Wisconsin has a law called "Truth in Sentencing," _you do 100% of your time. There are multiple head counts where the guards make sure that all of the inmates are accounted for. Every morning at 5:00 a.m. I felt like I was doing something wrong if I slept past 5:00 a.m. It took me almost six months before I slept past 5:00. Even now, 6:00 a.m. is sleeping in for me. It has allowed me to never be late to work, and show up everyday. I was a drug dealer with no work ethic, and I slept until noon. Ironically, I am more successful than I ever thought I would be because of this habit. I actually just got poached by another company who offered me a 150% salary increase. Nice to see you, new tax bracket. In two years, I have become a model parolee. My life is great. I married my wife last September. I go to therapy for a multitude of conditions that manifested while I was a guest of the state. I was diagnosed with general and social anxiety disorder, and PTSD. I was out a few months and I had a panic attack. I had no idea what was happening to me. I was literally paralyzed and afraid. I thought prison ruined me. It made me a better person in general. I am not praising Wisconsin DOC by any means. The guards dehumanized the inmates and treated us like pure garbage with no hope. They always told people _"You'll be back."I won't be back. People that go back produce job security. They want people to come back so they do what they can to steal your dreams. I changed myself. Prison allowed me to step back and really look at my life. I saw who I hurt. I saw who was there for me. I saw who abandoned me. I became focused on change after my third year. I contemplated suicide because I wasn't even half done with my sentence. After I seriously thought about hanging my life up I committed myself to being the best human being I could be. I revolted by behaving, teaching myself things, and being positive. My life is now amazing. I'm surrounded by people who love me and support me. All of the \_"ex-cons" _reading this, and people just interested in this thread, that label is bullshit. We are human beings with feelings. We can change. Stay positive and stay hopeful. Never give up. All of my fellow Redditor's, one love.

Homeowners Break Down The Weirdest Things The Previous Owners Left Behind

Reddit user Oblivious_Dude14 asked: 'People who bought a house. What is the weirdest thing you have found left by the previous owner?'

Old torquoise radio box
Milivoj Kuhar/Unsplash

Buying a home is a daunting task, but it comes with the comfort of finally having a place to call your own after the lengthy process of purchasing.

One of the things new homeowners look forward to is renovating certain areas of their newly acquired domicile.

However, embarking on this next phase of making a home their own can come with some surprises.

For example, doing a gut reno in the basement or tearing down a non-load-bearing wall can unearth unusual relics left from the previous homeowner.

These discoveries can either be treasures, or something very unpleasant.

Curious to hear from new homeonwers, Redditor Oblivious_Dude14 asked:

"People who bought a house. What is the weirdest thing you have found left by the previous owner?"

These will spark curiosity about former occupants.

Hidden Message

"First time I took a hot shower in our new home. The steam covered the mirror, only to reveal the phrase 'HELLO, I SEE YOU' in large finger drawn writing."

"It freaked me out for a second, but made me laugh soon after that."

"It was such an inconspicuous yet obvious thing to leave for the new homeowner (me)."

– Individual-Common-89

A Special Request

"It's not really weird but I think it's kind of a nice story."

"One of the kids' rooms has a shelf going all around the top edge, and when my kid was putting stuff up there they found a letter from the previous kid. The letter welcomed them to the room etc and asked them to take special care of a rose bush in the front yard that was their special rose bush. My kid thought it was really cool to have that connection with the previous kid."

– catsaway9

Instructions

"Not really weird but they left a typed out and printed note about the house and how to take care of it. Detailing all the plant life in the backyard and how to prep for the winter. Described how to take care of the hot tub and gave random tid bits about the electrical."

"They were good people lol."

– pet_zulrah

Theses secret chambers piqued Redditors' curiosity.

Secret Dwelling

"Not my house, but the school my friend worked at."

"A pipe had leaked and ruined a wall in the building, one of the oldest schools in the city. It was a beautiful property. Anyways the pipe leaked so they pulled down the ruined wall and behind the wall found a door."

"A fully furnished apartment was there. Had a coal burning stove to heat it. Early 1900s appliances and decor. It was for the caretaker of the school."

– Used-Stress

Antique Showroom

"My ex-wife's family knocked down a wall in a 400-year-old house in Cornwall, and found a perfectly intact bedroom from the 1800s, still with all the personal effects where they had been left."

"Nobody knows why it was boarded up, or why things weren't taken out of it."

"Oh, and that house always appears in the guides for the most haunted locations in Cornwall, if you believe that kind of stuff."

– ledow

A Medieval Theme

"A basement room that was fully decked out as a 'dungeon.' Faux stone walls, a stocks (like where you lock your head and hands in ala ye olde England), candle scones on the walls, a metal-barred cage in the corner from floor to ceiling. Oh and the closet had a load of toys, some normal, some....not so typical."

– DisIsDaeWae

These Redditors got a glimpse into past lives.

Family Treasure

"Before I met her, my wife got a call from someone she worked with saying they'd just bought an old house and in the city, and in it was a steamer trunk with her family name (not a common one) carved into the woodwork on one end."

"As it turns out, it was the trunk that her great grandfather used when he came over from Germany, and it made the trip to my wife's hometown when he met her great grandmother on a visit, and subsequently moved to her city to marry her. We now have it and it's full of family portraits and albums."

– LateralThinkerer

Vintage Trickster

"My first house purchase in 2005 - bought an old farmhouse that was built in 1923. The basement was FILLED with crap - we told them they needed to clean it all out before closing, but they didn't do it. The realtor asked if we wanted to postpone closing, and we decided no - some of the stuff looked interesting enough. Maybe it will be worthwhile to go through."

"Most of it was just junk. Then, about half way through (we were working our way from one end of the basement to the other, because you could barely walk through), I went to pick up what I thought was a small box, only to quickly realize it weighed at least 75 pounds. Upon further inspection, it wasn't a box, but a wooden square, 4' wide and about 12'x12', with two thin masonite plywood covers on each side. On one edge were two bolts with wires coming off that had been cut."

"Very strange - had no idea what it was, but thought it was interesting. So I put it aside and we kept going. At the very back of the basement once we cleared everything else out, was a rickety gray cabinet, built into the house. Inside, were numerous strange small tools, vials of mercury, vials of a strange powder, and thousands - literally thousands - of dice blanks. Some actual dice, but mostly blanks without the dots. they were all in little boxes labeled 'dice blanks'. Also very strange..."

"Not too long after that, I met a guy and upon learning my address, he said 'can I come over?My best friend grew up in that house'. He came by, and proceeded to tell me stories for an hour and a half about his childhood best friends eccentric father: Someone who was a part of the 'Dixieland Mafia' in the 60s and 70s, and who made a living traveling around the US as a traveling gambler. The enormously heavy box was an electro-magnet. And the dice blanks were for him to make his own loaded dice with a little bit of metal powder under the inlaid dot, so he could set up his own table with the the electromagnet underneath, and turn it on when he wanted to persuade the dice. He told me many other stories, including that there was 'no doubt in his mind that he had killed someone'. Pretty fascinating."

– GIjokinaround

A Soldier's Story

"A diary of an American soldier in WW-II, South Pacific Theater. Found it above a door when remodeling 20+ years ago. My wife and I tried everything we could think of to find a descendant, but to no avail."

"UPDATE: I just posted photos of it with the person's ID info on r/WorldWar2."

"Last Update: Thanks to all the help from this community, and those at r/worldwar2, this diary is now in the hands of its writer's son who came to my office this morning to retrieve it. I am so thrilled to have been able to facilitate this!"

– Factsaretheonlytruth

These folks really hit the jackpot.

Forgotten Stash

"$1200 in cash above the door on the inside the closet. I found it while painting."

– whymetoo

They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To

"A glass bowl. It was kind of pretty, with horizontal blue stripes."

"We kept fruit in it. We thought about dropping it off at the local charity shop, but never got around to it."

"Then one day I was at an antique fair and I saw for sale glass bowls that looked almost identical to ours. I went home to get my bowl and brought it to be assessed."

"Turns out it was a vintage Orrefors crystal bowl. The assessor valued it at around $800."

"We no longer keep fruit in it."

– khendron

When my great aunt passed away, our family went over to her and her husband's home in Pomona, CA to clear it out in preparation to sell.

They emigrated from Japan in the late 1930s and brought with them many decorative figurines, sculptures, and wooden carvings from the homeland.

One of the pieces was a kabuki doll on a wooden base. As we were placing the item in a box, a tiny envelope that had been taped underneath the doll's base came loose.

I opened it and found what looked like instructions for something. I kick myself to this day that I didn't keep the letter and never bothered asking my parents what the note said as we were frantically trying to empty the house.

But man, my imagination ran wild. Was it a treasure map? Who knows. I still wonder to this day what the note said and tossing it aside remains one of my life's greatest regrets.

test tubes
Talha Hassan on Unsplash

The saying "it's not brain surgery" hasn't meant the same thing to me ever since Ben Carson took his place on the national stage.

The saying "it's not rocket science" doesn't hit the same with me ever since one of my life-long friends became a rocket scientist.

I don't know Ben Carson—just his many public blunders—but in the case of my friend, he's an absolutely brilliant guy.

However I often wonder how my friend managed to survive this long and apparently this isn't an unusual phenomenon.

But more about my friend later at the end of this article.

Keep reading... Show less
person holding black remote control
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

Back in the 1980s the threat of nuclear war was pervasive in daily life.

That fear and paranoia made the TV films Threads and The Day After particularly effective. People were genuinely terrified or traumatized.

Both told the story of an atomic apocalypse, with Threads set in the UK and The Day After in the United States. I wasn’t familiar with Threads until about 5 years ago, but The Day After was a TV event everyone seemed to be talking about in the USA.

But fear inducing isn't quite the same as creepy.

For creepy, you need something like The Twilight Zone, Creepshow or Night Gallery.

Keep reading... Show less

Content warning: abuse and suicide.

There is a level of devastation caused by being cheated on by a partner, especially if it's someone you trusted and have been with for a long time that people who haven't experienced it can't understand.

I've been lucky in that I've never been cheated on myself, but I've had friends who have gone through it. My college roommate told me it was the worst pain she's ever been in when she found out her boyfriend cheated on her, and she couldn't imagine anything worse.

It was indeed horrible. My confident, strong roommate was crying all the time and wondering why she wasn't good enough to keep her boyfriend's interest, even though that had nothing to with it.

Redditors agree that being cheated on is painful, but also are prepared to share things they think are emotionally more painful.

It all started when Redditor Darkterrariafort asked:

"What is something more emotionally painful than getting cheated on?"

Medical Helplessness

"Watching your most precious person die a painful and scary death and knowing there’s nothing you can do about it. F**k cancer."

– coastalliving40

"This. I watched my husband starve to death from gastroesophageal cancer."

"It was like watching a nightmare repeat of my dad all over again. 😞"

– NedsAtomicDB

Mama Who Bore Me

"Death of your child."

– NBA_Fan_76

"I truly cannot imagine a deeper pain."

– theawkwardmermaid

"Your child being serious injured by your ex, and custody court keeps forcing the kid into contact with their abuser."

"You spend years of your life dealing with court homework where you recount every excruciating detail of your own abuse at the hands of this person, in addition to the crimes against your child."

"It costs you about $100,000 in legal fees, and you still aren't able to protect your child. It keeps going on indefinitely, and perversely, your ex tries to send you to jail because the child runs away from them."

– JadeGrapes

"Being responsible for your childs death directly."

– Kanulie

"My father passed very suddenly and unexpectedly two summers ago. It was the deepest, unimaginable despair that it was almost like a dream. Being walked to the little room at the hospital where they let you know he didn’t make it on the ambulance ride was surreal and up to that point the worst moment in my life."

"One month after he passed, I was in a four wheeler accident with my then three year old. And we were alone as my husband was out of town. I wasn’t being negligent- it was just a terrible, terrible accident. But, in the chaos of being thrown off and being in complete shock, I thought the four wheeler was pinning her down. I was screaming at the top of my lungs and crying and trying everything I could to lift it up. Remaining calm simply wasn’t a possibility when you think you’re killing your own child."

"She wasn’t pinned-and actually didn’t have a scratch on her. EMT checked her out and I went to the hospital because I had ripped the top part of my thigh off trying to lift the ATV."

"The whole thing was eye-opening in the worst way possible. Because, I could never, ever, ever, ever imagine losing my daughter- especially to my own fault. What if she had been hurt or died that day? I would be living in my own constant hell. I didn’t think there could be worst pain that when I lost my dad, but now I know there is. Just the thought alone of losing my daughter brings tears to my eyes."

"Life is really rough sometimes. But it gets better."

– BoredMillennialMommy

Going Down

"Seeing a loved one go on a downward spiral and you can do nothing to stop it."

– New_me_old_self

"Extension of your comment: Seeing a close one(wronged by their protectors) going down the spiral."

"You tried to help them a lot but they dragged you down with them and left you not just empty but drained."

– Sullen_Wretch

So Hard

"Suicide bereavement."

"I lost my best friend in 2022. Found him. Everyday is a struggle to not be in my grief."

"I’d take 100 heartbreaks, 100 nights of going to bed hungry, and 100 punches right to the face just to have him back."

– KatastropheKraut

"It does. I got wasted and said far too much about myself once. One of my friends verbally smacked the f**k out of me, got me to see that people do care about me and that my relationships aren't all just superficial, really just hit my sorry a** over and over again with the idea that I'm deserving of love not because other people get something out of being with me but because I am a human being, and it slowly does get better."

"It stopped me, I was going to kill myself in two months on new year's."

"When I can't live for myself, I live for other people, even when I start doubting other people actually like me, I still don't do it or hurt myself at all, because there's always, no matter what I feel in the moment, a chance that they do truly just care about me."

"If I end myself now then I give so many other people survivor's guilt, I leave all the people I care about wondering for the rest of their lives how it all could've been different if they had just tried a little bit harder to help me. I won't elaborate now but I feel a similar sort of regret when it comes to a number of aspects of my own life. I could never leave someone with something so unfathomably more painful than that."

– pissandsh*tlord

Sounds Awful

"Mental instability. It's cruel because it's your own mind killing you, you can't run or hide and it's long-winded. I couldn't say a single event has been more emotionally stressful than what's happening."

– Country-Road--

"It’s like you’re dead in your twenties but haven’t been buried til you’re 65."

– Gmr33

Tragedy You Never Get Over

"Having your mother pass away in your arms."

– Repulsive_Cricket923

"Something similar happened to me when i was 4. My parents sent me over to get babysat by my grandmother and she sat on a chair and passed as i was sitting on the floor playing with my toys. I only thought she was sleeping at the time, but later learned the truth as i never saw her again."

– Lucidnuts

Just Done

"As far as relationships go, being abandoned by your former partner is pretty damn painful."

– heyitsvonage

"Mine did this to me after 2.5 years and it was f**king devastating, it took years to get over. He acted as though everything was fine, I was his everything, we were actively planning how we would elope after I finished my degree that term, and BOOM NO DO-OVERS YA DONE."

"It was immediately what came to my mind when I saw this post."

– paprikashi

My Work

"When someone steals your research, hands it in first, gets the high distinction, then everything you submit is plagiarizing that a**hat."

– StaunchMeerkat

"This is two steps worse than, "hey can you put my name on your paper too.""

– karmagod13000

Rather Be Cheated On

"When the person stays with you but they secretly still yearn for that other person (even if no cheating occurs)."

– Deleted User

I actually didn't think there was anything worse than being cheated on after watching my friends go through it.

I stand corrected.

Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/