Doctors Share Their Most Memorable Stories of Patients Tripping on Magic Mushrooms
Magic mushrooms are perfect fodder for wild and spontaneous stories, as we learned when Redditor heftjohnson asked: "In honor of Denver's decriminalization of magic mushrooms, doctors of reddit what, if any, is your best story of patients on hallucinogenics?"
"Was working night shift..."
Was working night shift on inpatient service.
ED called to admit someone.
"We've got a 17 year old down here with altered mental status. We think he needs to be admitted for eval/monitoring. VSS, chem fine, [etc. etc.]"
Now. I'm not a pediatrician. I don't do kids. I don't understand why the ED is calling me. But - I'm an intern and it's 2 in the morning so arguing about it is stupid. I headed to the ED.
I get there to see a young dude sitting there with his parents. I'll mention that his dad was a full bird colonel and very much fit the archetype, and his mom seemed to fit that type of personality, too.
The kid is literally rolling around in his bed, alternating between crying, asking if he was going to die, rubbing his dad's hand, and telling him how much he loved him.
I had to sit there, and take a history with a straight face from a 17 year old who kept being distracted by just how much he loved his dad. I think my first question was "did you take anything, tonight?" and he was straight up and said "Oh, yeah, like a shit ton of acid. Want any?"
I 100% laughed at this statement. His dad was not amused. The patient was discharged the next morning.
"I had a guy..."
I had a guy who was freaking out thinking he was going to die because he thought he had eaten too many hallucinogenic mushrooms. He went online and saw that sometimes patients are given activated charcoal to soak up the mushrooms in the stomach (not entirely true btw). So he goes outside and starts chowing down on charcoal briquettes that he has in his garage for grilling!
After about a dozen he realizes "Holy s*it I'm eating charcoal briquettes". Now he is really freaking out so he grabs his dog (as the thinks he is never coming back to his house) and drives himself to the ED. He parks out front, walks into triage with the pup (black charcoal all over his face and hands) and says "I need a doctor and someone to watch my dog when I die"!
"I'm a paramedic..."
I'm a paramedic but this story is from back when I was an EMT (hand-holder, oxygen-giver, bandage distributor). Got called at night for a teenage male who had "ingested mushrooms." On the way to the call, my paramedic partner was unusually silent. After a while she pipes up, "I don't get it. He ate mushrooms... Like, what...portabellas??"
She grew up very sheltered in the country. So that's how this was gonna go.
We get there and the cops walk out a skinny kid wearing only boxers. Took some shrooms, first time ever, freaked out and told his parents who called 911. My partner is spinning in circles and asking whether she should call poison control.
I help the kid into the ambulance and onto the stretcher, turn the lights down low and tell my partner just to drive to the hospital. The kid is calming down a bit but he's tripping pretty hard. Asking if his parents are Jesus and stuff like that.
This was before smart phones when iPods were the s!it. I had one of those radio transmitters you could plug into the iPod and then play music through the vehicle speakers. It had a remote that I carried on my belt along with the clicker for the ambulance.
We were going to the hospital, lights down low, just being chill when I remembered what my partner and I had been listening to a couple hours before when we checked our equipment. Thievery Corporation. So I reached down and hit the remote without him noticing. A few seconds go by and he turns to me with the widest eyes I've ever seen. "Whoa. What... Is... This... Music?" He was in true bliss. He kept asking me about the music for the rest of the ride.
We dropped him off and I wrote "Listen to Thievery Corporation" on a sheet of paper and tucked it into the waistband of his boxers. I like to think there's some dude out there from upstate New York who fell in love with Thievery in high school but doesn't really know why.
"Nurse here."
Nurse here. Used to work the night shift in a very small, rural ED in North Carolina. We had a couple in their 20s get picked up the local police. They were found in their car stopped on the train tracks looking very lost and confused. They had somehow made it from Raleigh and were attempting to get to the beach.
So they're brought in to the ED for an eval before they're let go. This being rural NC, no one had a clue about how to handle this type of situation. We basically gave them IV fluids, put them on cardiac monitors, and tried not to stimulate them too much. They were extremely polite, and since I was the closest in age to them and had some experience with recreational drugs, I did my best to engage them. As I was starting an IV on the male partner, I asked how he was feeling. "Very safe," he replied. His pupils were as wide as saucers. I miss that job sometimes.
"I had a patient..."
He would not stop yelling and screaming about "THAT DAMN CAT POKING ITS HEAD OUT OF THE CEILING TILES" every single time I left the room. He also had short bursts of thinking he was covered in bugs and I would find him stripped naked and yelling into the wall.
"I am a medic."
I am a medic. Was working a concert in Chicago at Northerly Island a few years back for Phish Fest. Get a call for a male with his face in the ground. Find a shirtless 20 something-year-old with his pant undone and digging his face into the sand. I get next to the guy and tap his shoulder, say "sir, do you know what's going on? Are you ok?" To which he responds in the most classic stoner voice ".....do youuuuu know what's going on, mannnnn....???" and digs is face back in the sand with the stoniest of smiles you can imagine.
We coax him out of the sand pit and he tells us he took 10. Just 10. Couldn't remember what of, just 10.... and honestly 10 is bad number of anything... lol. 10 tabs of acid, 10 grams of weed, 10 grams of mushrooms, 10 shots, 10 heroins please.... So we let him sit in the drunk tank with the rest of the tripped our goons. Gawd bless their trippy little hearts.
"His only regret..."
I was a doctor that was on rotation in the emergency department. 33 year old male who was brought in naked by the police, under the influence of suspected mushroom ingestion. He had a bit of trouble understanding 'why' he'd been arrested, despite being very aware of the fact that he'd been caught galavanting around naked in the rain in a children's playground.
The initial police response had been with two officers, and he told me with glee that they weren't able to grab him because he was 'slippery like an oiled pig' in the rain, and the nakedness didn't help with no clothing for them to grab. Due to being unable to catch him, they called for dog-squad backup. He recounted with a sh!t-eating grin how he'd hidden inside a giant puddle 'like Rambo' and had thrown sticks and rocks to confuse the police dog. Following an hour or so, they gave up and reverted to using a search line of ~12 police slowly advancing to find him. Eventually one stumbled into this goblin's little swamp puddle, and then they took another 15 minutes trying to catch him as he bolted naked around the children's playground...again.
His only regret, despite his wife refusing to come and pick him up from the hospital, was that he hadn't eaten more shrooms.
"In a busy..."
In a busy urban ED, one unkempt looking man with altered mental status sits calmly and tiredly in a bed along the wall in the hallway. As I walk by, he grabs me, with a worried look on his face, and says in the most classic stoner voice: "Hey, man! Why does the time on that clock keep changing??"
Me: that's what it's supposed to do. Patient: ..... oooooohhh yeah!!! [laughs]
Still one of my most memorable encounters.
ER physician here...
I see complications of drug abuse daily. That said, ER visits from hallucinogens are VERY rare. Not counting some bad reactions to PCP and ketamine, which are more dissociative agents than hallucinogens, I have probably only seen a handful of cases in my entire career. I wish I could say the same for alcohol, which contributes to multiple injuries every shift I work.
Most of the time it is pretty boring. Usually the patient was either naive to the drug or took a bit too much and has some anxiety. A few cases of teenagers being caught tripping by their parents and dragged to the hospital, which seems like a terrible experience.
Now, what I am seeing is an increase in senior citizens having bad reactions to marijuana edibles. Basically someone in their retirement community gets a medical marijuana card, and they all decide to try edibles for the first time, only to find out this isn't the weed they were smoking in the 60s.
Not really a hallucinogen, but one time I was using propofol to sedate a patient for a procedure. He thought he was Lionel from Thindercats, and was doing the "Thunder... Thunder... Thundercats... Ho!" thing the whole time. It was hysterical.
Outside of work, one of my friends ate a bag of shrooms at a party, and got stuck in a loop talking about the camel from the cigarette brand. He was convinced the camel was coming to the party.
Another friend tried to go surfing one night while on shrooms. Issue was he forgot to put clothes on. Yep, guy was walking down the road at 2am, butt naked, with nothing but a surfboard.
So while I cannot give my endorsement for drugs... Hallucinogens (assuming untainted product, in reasonable doses, in a safe setting) tend to be fairly safe compared to other drugs of abuse that I see regularly. Now I am sure people have done dumb/dangerous shit while on them, but it seems low compared to other substances some of which are legal.
"I was actually interviewing..."
I was actually interviewing/shadowing for a job in a Trauma Dept. A patient came in after having a gigantic log roll over him (he was a lumberjack? Trucker?). Either way he had an open ankle fracture which means the bone is sticking out. He was obviously in a lot of pain.
In order to set the ankle, he was given some Fentanyl (I don't remember the dose). He went from literally screaming in pain to literally singing about having a pizza party.
I'll never forget "we're gonna to have a PIZZA party. PIZZA for every-BODY!"
Kendall Jenner Wearing A Massive Winter Coat Is Like Lenny Kravitz's Scarf 2.0 ๐
We need more of this immediately.
We all love a good meme, and the best memes often imitate life. Model Kendall Jenner is the latest target of the Instagram account @itsmaysmemes, which photoshops celebrities in hilariously oversized outerwear.
At least it looks cozy...
Soon, Vogue France tweeted the image and all hell broke loose.
Winter is coming ! https://t.co/obJe6bO87Bโ Vogue.fr (@Vogue.fr) 1540199684.0
The caption reads:
"Winter is coming !"
Indeed.
People made their own versions.
@VogueParis @KendallJenner oh okay... https://t.co/Willu5LSlNโ ูleah (@ูleah) 1540383130.0
@VogueParis @KendallJenner Fixed it! https://t.co/ThTnfVSfvkโ sleepy jorge (@sleepy jorge) 1540480172.0
@VogueParis @KendallJenner https://t.co/p5CTJDEiqJโ Ty ยฉ๏ธ (@Ty ยฉ๏ธ) 1540502215.0
Some compared it to other strange fashion choices we've seen over the years.
@VogueParis @KendallJenner https://t.co/hnLvEvRJABโ Bouzid Van Der Woodsen (@Bouzid Van Der Woodsen) 1540230561.0
@VogueParis @KendallJenner New couple with @LennyKravitz?? https://t.co/oCS3WAi3Xdโ ใใใฐใ! (@ใใใฐใ!) 1540248515.0
@VogueParis @KendallJenner https://t.co/zAB6xKmu8Tโ TheBowLeggโdOne (@TheBowLeggโdOne) 1540471862.0
And there were those who had some pretty interesting ideas about what this looked like.
How your girl looks when she says she's cold and you give her your coat https://t.co/louipQI66kโ Jack Skellington (@Jack Skellington) 1540405914.0
This is what P.E. teachers would be wearing during winter while shouting at students to stop complaining that itโsโฆ https://t.co/5qDubio0mXโ ุงููุดุจุง (@ุงููุดุจุง) 1540392391.0
Perhaps we loved it because it did seem just avant garde enough for Jenner to actually wear. Turns out we all can! Well, sort of. The jacket is a digitally enlarged version of The Super Puff jacket at Aritzia. Even the non-Photoshopped version looks pretty cozy!
H/T: Huffington Post, Twitter
George R.R. Martin Just Confirmed A Popular 'Game Of Thrones' Fan Theory About White Walkers
Game of Thrones scribe George R.R. Martin is promoting his new book in the A Song of Ice and Fire series, and provided insight into a group of characters fans have been waiting to learn more about.
As an author known to inject symbolism into the fantastical worlds he creates, Martin revealed that the icy group of White Walkers from Game of Thrones personified climate change.
What the ancient humanoid race of icy creatures stand for is a concept many have theorized all along.
Now fans received confirmation from the author himself.
Martin may have prognosticated climate change while he was writing GoT. The cold that transcends upon Westeros sounds eerily familiar.
"It's kind of ironic," Martin told the New York Times.
"Because I started writing 'Game of Thrones' all the way back in 1991, long before anybody was talking about climate change."
"But there is โ in a very broad sense โ there's a certain parallel there. And the people in Westeros are fighting their individual battles over power and status and wealth."
He added:
"And those are so distracting them that they're ignoring the threat of 'winter is coming,' which has the potential to destroy all of them and to destroy their world."
"And there is a great parallel there to, I think, what I see this planet doing here, where we're fighting our own battles. We're fighting over issues, important issues, mind you โ foreign policy, domestic policy, civil rights, social responsibility, social justice. All of these things are important."
Martin continued:
"But while we're tearing ourselves apart over this and expending so much energy, there exists this threat of climate change, which, to my mind, is conclusively proved by most of the data and 99.9 percent of the scientific community. And it really has the potential to destroy our world."
"And we're ignoring that while we worry about the next election and issues that people are concerned about, like jobs."
Marten stressed the importance of caring for the environment, adding that protecting it should be a top priority.
"So really, climate change should be the number one priority for any politician who is capable of looking past the next election."
"We spend 10 times as much energy and thought and debate in the media discussing whether or not N.F.L. players should stand for the national anthem than this threat that's going to destroy our world."
When the author was asked if he could "pick the best real-world, present-day match โ politicians, celebrities" and pair them up with corresponding characters from his novels, Martin answered: "Pass."
Fire and Blood: 300 Years Before a Game of Thrones, is expected to be released on November 20.
H/T - NYtimes, Twitter, Mentalfloss
This Brand's Tweet History Is A Hilariously Fitting Representation Of A Brand's Life Cycle ๐
Carl's Croutons tried their hand at social media to advance their brand.
But their objective got derailed when their tweet ignited a confusing thread that sent everyone down the rabbit hole.
@topherflorence captured highlights from the thread that received over three thousand retweets for its zaniness alone.
Can you follow?
the history of every brand on twitter somehow https://t.co/fWVXsElCvrโ D๐CFUTURE (@D๐CFUTURE) 1540403954.0
The bread crumbs company endeavored to stir excitement for the brand by encouraging participation with the following tweet:
"Taking our first steps on the www!! tell us your favorite crouton recipes! #croutons #yum"
Harmless, right?

But somewhere along the way, the brand mixed business with politics. @religiousgames noticed that Carl's Croutons issued a one-word directive: vote.
The Twitter user asked, "What does it mean?"
@topherflorence What does it mean? https://t.co/IKifvva7baโ Vincent Gonzalez (@Vincent Gonzalez) 1540408943.0
Did the Carl's Croutons account manager get his social media account wires crossed? Possibly. But then we're not sure.
@topherflorence responded by saying, "lol that wasn't me i would posted something way dumber."
@religiousgames lol that wasn't me i woulda posted something way dumberโ D๐CFUTURE (@D๐CFUTURE) 1540409220.0
The following tweet from Carl's Croutons attempted damage control:
"Carl's Crutons [sic] regrets the inappropriate tweet from earlier and we sincerely apologize to the people of The Republic of Malta."

So how did Carl's Croutons insult the Republic of Malta?
@topherflorence @oggborbis ...how did they insult Malta? I need to know.โ astronaatti (@astronaatti) 1540405285.0
@Bestorb shed some light on why the Southern European island country may have been insulted by sharing a YouTube clip of episode 1008, "Final Justice," from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Did it have something to do with the country's dominant population of women?
@astronaatti @topherflorence @oggborbis https://t.co/9imm31y8cMโ Nick Bestor (@Nick Bestor) 1540429565.0
The thread spun off in all different directions.

@topherflorence @xoxogossipgita laughing hardest at crouton recipesโ super normal internet (@super normal internet) 1540492558.0

@topherflorence That last one is life ๐๐ฝโ Rich F. Santiago (@Rich F. Santiago) 1540418084.0
@topherflorence WOW this was a ride.โ Jackal's Husband, Yuko (@Jackal's Husband, Yuko) 1540405005.0
@ItsBobberto @topherflorence @austin_walker Late stage social media.โ Mr. Jackpots (@Mr. Jackpots) 1540435914.0
There were many takeaways from the esoteric thread, but the one directive really stood out.
@topherflorence @MaxKriegerVG Haha, you got me. But seriously, vote.โ Benoit Doidic (@Benoit Doidic) 1540414697.0
@topherflorence @zoebread Clever girl. https://t.co/i5VB74s8F9โ brott rambler but spooky (@brott rambler but spooky) 1540478919.0
@topherflorence @NoraReed This was a wild ride.โ Queer Eye for the Animorphs Reboot (@Queer Eye for the Animorphs Reboot) 1540412903.0
@topherflorence @seangentille Iโm experiencing a new level of cringe right nowโ Helle Hansen ๐ธ (@Helle Hansen ๐ธ) 1540423182.0
@topherflorence @ZaaackKoootzer This is the greatest thing I've seen all dayโ your very own monica bellucci dream (@your very own monica bellucci dream) 1540406700.0
@topherflorence @spacetwinks Optimistic engagement. Regret. 'How do you do, fellow kids.' Unity through shared outrโฆ https://t.co/6VGrLNPZVpโ Ink-stained @ MFF 2018 (@Ink-stained @ MFF 2018) 1540405582.0
@topherflorence @spacetwinks 2 is where they decided to hire a social media manager. 3 is when they decided to hire a different one.โ Ink-stained @ MFF 2018 (@Ink-stained @ MFF 2018) 1540412100.0
@LaserBlade @topherflorence yeah i actually think they're pretty good croutons but then again they pay me to say thatโ cool dog mowing lawn (@cool dog mowing lawn) 1540436982.0
@topherflorence @mattfx This is magically funny like Goofy doing an unannounced set in a small black roomโ M๐R (@M๐R) 1540482697.0
@topherflorence @ZaaackKoootzer This is the greatest thing I've seen all dayโ your very own monica bellucci dream (@your very own monica bellucci dream) 1540406700.0
There's still an unanswered question.
@topherflorence I need to know the Malta story thoโ NeoSorosbot (@NeoSorosbot) 1540423045.0
So who is Carl's Croutons anyway? Nobody knows. Just vote.
Clever Dog Tricks McDonald's Customers Into Feeding Her By Pretending To Be A Stray ๐
It's a dog eat dog world out there and sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do. At least that's what one dog owner realized when she caught her pooch trolling the streets looking for an easy meal.
Facebook user Betsy Reyes busted her dog Princess who was out moonlighting as a stray in order to play on the sympathies of strangers. It seems Princess likes to wander off to her favorite hangout, the local McDonald's, and work the drive through lane like a pro.
And that's what she did right up until Reyes busted her scam. Reyes, who lives in Oklahoma City, took to Facebook and outed Princess in the most hysterical way, saying:
"If you see my dog @ the McDonald's on shields, quit feeding her fat ass bc she don't know how to act & be leaving the house all the time to go walking to McDonald's at night. She's not even a stray dog. She's just a gold diggin ass bitch that be acting like she's a stray so people will feel bad for her & feed her burgers."
Lots of scammers out there.
@CBSNews My lab Would jump the fence every morning as I got ready to work and when I went to leave he would reappeaโฆ https://t.co/NJhg4ZuGq1โ Anneik ๐ (@Anneik ๐) 1540434345.0
@CBSNews https://t.co/UqWvClKi8zโ Bruinlover- follower of Nakia (@Bruinlover- follower of Nakia) 1540418292.0
@CBSNews I TOOK MINE TO THE DRUGSTORE AND WHILE I WAS PAYING HE STOLE A CANDY BAR, WALKED RIGHT OUT THE DOOR WIโฆ https://t.co/U3DlWunzcKโ PUEBLO294 (@PUEBLO294) 1540415919.0
@LCaro294 @CBSNews Mine stole a butterdish at my mumโs house, ate all the butter then buried the butterdish to hide the evidence.โ Tricoteuse (@Tricoteuse) 1540418005.0
@CBSNews My dog would 100% do this if she could get out of the house. On our walks she stands in the doorways of foโฆ https://t.co/33ovz44HUXโ Skulls&Bacon (@Skulls&Bacon) 1540420511.0
@BillichThomas @skullsandbacon @CBSNews 100% would hand over my bagel, if only because she looks so annoyed with meโฆ https://t.co/aQs5qKhETNโ Claire Pettie (@Claire Pettie) 1540434235.0
It's an adorable story, but maybe get the dog a collar with identification?
@CBSNews Pretends? Leaves the collar stashed around the corner, or what?โ Jim Snell (@Jim Snell) 1540429214.0
@CBSNews This is adorable but this dog should 100% be wearing a collar and also get microchipped! Love this story :)โ Minka โACABโ Eisenhower (@Minka โACABโ Eisenhower) 1540418766.0
Not everyone thought the story was cute.
@CBSNews Great way to keep your dog safe. ๐โ ๐ง๐ปโโ๏ธ Free Hugs ๐ ๐บ๐ธ๐ณ๐ด๐ซ๐ฎโฎ๏ธโ๏ธ โ๐ฑ๐ท (@๐ง๐ปโโ๏ธ Free Hugs ๐ ๐บ๐ธ๐ณ๐ด๐ซ๐ฎโฎ๏ธโ๏ธ โ๐ฑ๐ท) 1540414161.0
@CBSNews Unless you can keep your dog safe at home and not out in traffic where she could be hit by a car, stolen,โฆ https://t.co/6BMPMLYgYsโ Lindsey McBride (@Lindsey McBride) 1540435397.0
Of course, when a girl's gotta eat, a girl's gotta eat.
@chabsmescudi Funny.... but time to build a super gate. https://t.co/NZBE1s3lm6โ OEL๐๐๐ (@OEL๐๐๐) 1540238320.0
@chabsmescudi The dog: https://t.co/FSmeFYhspTโ Angie (@Angie) 1540231585.0
@BetsysReyes @chabsmescudi Your dog every night after standing on the road https://t.co/mrTCMOtOVAโ N.A.S.A (@N.A.S.A) 1540235406.0
@chabsmescudi I would have been mad if my dog didnโt bring anything back. https://t.co/qb7ED7cwMGโ Name Change (@Name Change) 1540325221.0
Let's hope Princess has learned her lesson and stays home.
H/T: Huffington Post, Mashable















