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Couples Share The Weirdest Things They've Done Together

Being part of a healthy, fun, committed couple is honestly one of the coolest things in the world. You and your partner get a bunch of inside jokes, you've got a built-in sidekick for shenanigans, and even the really boring or terrible things are a little bit better because you're not alone. Your partner will probably be the person who makes you laugh the most, knows your secrets, and is right there by your side for all of those nights that turn into stories.


One Reddit user asked:

What's the weirdest thing you've done with your partner?

Honestly... this is all love. Some of it is really gross or probably illegal (both?) but it's all love. Here are some of the more epic responses.

Just Get It Out Of Your System

One time we went on vacation in a coastal town and got absolutely sh!tfaced together. Our hotel was in a walking distance so we went back after our shenanigans. We both hopped in the shower together and I sat on the floor because I wasn't feeling well.

I jokingly said that she should help me throw up so I could get it over with, and without missing a beat she shoved her finger down my throat and I threw up all over both of us.

Best place to be at that moment was the shower so it all worked out.

We are getting married. I can't wait!

- collurad

Goodnight Kisses

We've been married for 4 years, every night after we are done cuddling and turn opposite ways to sleep we press our butts together and make kissing noises. Like our butts are kissing each other goodnight.

- mossyfox

Her Cup Runneth Over

My husband and I have a ritual where every night after he gets out of the shower he approaches me naked and allows me to cup his balls for 10-30 seconds. It's completely non-sexual and I cant even remember when we started it.. but it's a nightly occurrence now and I get upset if he doesn't let me :)

- thecatladykatie

Ok, I Help

My boyfriend let me aim for him while peeing once. I asked if I could help as a joke while I was in the bathroom for something else and he's like 'uhhh..?' it wasn't a no and I'm the type to play chicken in the 'how weird will you let me get' sense. So I took hold while quietly repeating 'I help? Ok, I help' periodically.

It's a lot harder to aim than it looks.

- kjipg

Cheesecake Factory

We got super high one night and downloaded the PDF of the Cheesecake Factory menu and then continued to laugh for hours at how many pages and options there were.

HOURS.

- RitaPoonismysister

Knee Nibbles

I had to the urge to lightly bite her knee. Found out it's a very weirdly placed erogenous zone for her and she feels weird now. I do it from time to time and it's only gotten more sensitive, so now it tickles her, but only if I lightly bite it.

- TheOri9inal

An Unfair Advantage

My ex and I had a weird little competition that endured 6 long years.

Whenever we showered together, we'd try to sneakily start peeing on the other one without them noticing. Bonus points for finishing completely, or getting them while they're facing you.

I could only really get him while he was shampooing - but his parts gave him an unfair advantage.. so he def won.

- DariatheDalekslayer

FBotY

We compete for First Boop of the Day (but neither bed boops nor car boops count because bed boops are too easy and car boops are dangerous), and we compete annually for First Boop of the Year (FBotY) (Edit: a boop is when you poke a nose softly with your index finger)

FBotY is very important & prestigious -- if you lose First Boop, you have to wait til next year for a chance -- no best 2 out of 3 or any of that nonsense. I have won FBotY 4 out of 6 years that we have been playing. The first year we did FBotY, we practically fought for the boop and almost tripped over ourselves/poked our eyes out in the process, plus it made the new year's kiss very tense because we each wanted to win first boop immediately after the kiss. So now we have enacted a rule that FBotY can't actually be on Jan 1st or any day in the beginning of January that we are officially celebrating New Year's because it makes New Year's ultra competitive immediately.

- customheart

Merry Christmas

We dressed up in shitty 70's sweaters and took photos in front of the Christmas tree holding our cats like babies and looking slightly to the left. It was...hideous. So we sent them as our Christmas cards. Now we have a tradition of doing really sh!tty photos.

- RockPrincess01

That Bright Green Smell

My wife and I went shopping for a new perfume. My wife can't smell. Or at least every smell and taste is muffled. I try to communicate smells to her in a way that she can understand - like colors. We forget how weird that must sound to other people. So I was tasked with deciding which perfume she should buy.

At the store the perfume lady took a tester, sprayed perfume on it, handed it to my wife who directly handed it over to me. I sniffed on it and declared: "No, that's not you. That's too pink." The perfume store lady seemed a little bewildered, but went on to the next bottle.

The next one was too fruity - or "orange or red" - and we finally settled for a "bright green and blue" smell (fresh, herbal fragrance).

Meanwhile the perfume store lady was totally confused and asked in all politeness if we were screwing with her. So we told her how I always describe smells with colors to my wife so she can have a sense of it.

- moemoemoe999

Target Stalker

Whenever we'd go to Target we'd play "stalker." We'd split up, and i'd go about my shopping, and my boyfriend would follow me around at a distance and kind of peek at me from the end of the aisle. If i caught him looking at me, he'd awkwardly pretend he was looking at whatever he was standing next to. This would go on for a while until i needed to talk to him about something, (or vice versa) and one of us would text the other and he'd come walking over like nothing happened. It would always crack us up and it was only at Target.

- Theredheadsaid

A Crab's Uncle

My partner gets really tired and will say the most random ass things when she's a certain level of sleepy. For example:

Her: I have a... starts making crab claw motions with her hands

Me: You have a what now?

Her: You know, a...continues to crab

Me: I don't understand.

Her: You know! It's...it's a crab's uncle.

Me: ...a lobster?

Her: YES!

(She does not have a lobster.)

- thatdangerous

The Wal-Mart Rescue

I was 8 months pregnant and my husband and I were in Wal-mart, I accidentally sneezed and peed all over myself (almost thought my water broke) I started to cry out of fear that someone would see and all of a sudden my husband grabs a bowl off of the shelf sticks it on the floor between my legs and starts making ambulance noises circles me rips his sweatshirt off which he wasnt wearing a shirt under wraps it around my waist, picks me up, and runs out of the store shirtless, yelling her water broke her water broke clean up on isle 6 we get to our vehicle almost dieing from laughter and I look at him and say my water didnt break and he says i know sweetheart and reaches in the back and grabs a pair of pants from a bag... I guess he packed me what he called an emergen(wee) (pee)ants bag. He's my hero.

- bejackson23

...And It Worked

My boyfriend's ears were blocked and he kept trying to pop them himself (by blocking his nose and breathing out) but it wasn't working. So I, being a concerned girlfriend, suggested maybe they had to be popped by air going IN through his nose. Long story short, he closed his mouth and I clamped my mouth around his nose and blew in AND IT WORKED.

- mossxnorth

Urethral Broadway

This is very weird and I've never told anyone. Sometimes when we're bored in bed I'll hold his dick and play with it so it looks like his penis is singing via the urethra. Just lightly opening and closing. I'll do weird broadway vibrato songs and whatnot. I think he just tolerates it lol

- Gibranies

Holy Havoc 

Does buying 34 porcelain nun figurines at the dollar tree and sneaking into a convent to hide them in strange places count?

- crinnaursa

1Kg

My girlfriend and I went to high school together and many years ago when we had a physics class together, she somehow left the lab with a 1 kg weight hooked on her backpack and made it all the way home with it. We both laughed about it and I broke the news to her that she is a theif now. She proceeded to secretly hide the weight in my bag to pawn her crime off on me. You can guess what I did next when I found it.

7 years later we are still hiding this 1 kg weight in the most unsuspected places we can think of to prank the other.

A few spots that come to mind: Jacket pockets, sock drawer, winter clothes in storage, purse, dress shoe, bag of rice, pillow case.

She doesn't know but right now I've got it hidden in an antique camera bag under some film capsules. Could be year(s) before she finds it.

- grimreeper1995

Interpretive Poop Dances

Each of our dogs has a distinct way of pooping. Our sheepdog mix will hunch over and walk as she poops, scattering it. While our pom-pug will ninja it and then kick dirt you into the other dogs face. So my husband and I created interpretive dances of their poops and performed it for our friends... several times.

- TheRoyalYou

Life In Harmony

We're both musicians, so we like to practice our harmonies by singing directly into each other's mouths while lying in bed. I especially like to sing a really close harmonies so the vibrations are really strong.

- hoolie94

Scientifically Accurate Dinosaur Noises

Cuddling while making dinosaur noises. My now-fiance got back from one of her lectures, during which she learned what dinosaurs may have actually sounded like based on their anatomy. I asked her what they believed dinosaurs really sounded like and she slowly looked up from her laptop and proceeded to scream (almost similarly to Dory in Finding Nemo during the whale calling scene) and I quote: "HHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH".

We went on making these odd dinosaur noises for about a couple of months, sometimes either one of us would go in for a kiss only to be greeted by a very loud dino HHHHHHHUHUUHUHHUHUUUHUUUUHUHUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

- justgarcia31

H/T: Reddit

Scotland Tackles Transphobia and Homophobia In Brilliant New Billboard Ads ❤️
(OneScotland)

The Scottish government has had enough of hate crimes and is moving forward with a gutsy campaign.

According to Pink News, Scotland is launching a new initiative to combat intolerance with messages respectively addressing "bigots," "disablists," "homophobes," "racists," and "transphobes" in a series of ads circulating across the country.

Each message is signed on behalf of Scotland.

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A man on Twitter informed feminists they had to choose between chivalry and equality.

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Katy Perry, P!nk, Paul McCartney And More Sign Letter Threatening To Boycott SiriusXM Radio
Photos by John Shearer-Direct Management-Christopher Polk-Gary Gershoff-WireImage

Hundreds of artists have signed a letter threatening a boycott if SiriusXM's parent company, Liberty Media, doesn't back down from opposing the Music Modernization Act.

The act, which was expected to pass through Congress, streamlines royalty payments in the new age of digital technology, but it seems SiriusXM is objecting to a small section that would have the satellite radio company paying royalties on recordings dating before 1972.

That's a whole lot of songs and a whole lot of money the company is hoping to skip out on paying, but not if stars like Paul McCartney, P!nk, Stevie Nicks, Sia, Carly Simon, Gloria Estefan, Mick Fleetwood, Don Henley, Max Martin, and Katy Perry can help it.

The letter read, in part:

I'm writing you with grave concern about SiriusXM's opposition to the Music Modernization Act (Classics Act included).

We are all aware of your company's objections and trepidation but let me say that this is an opportunity for SiriusXM to take a leadership position. As you are aware, 415 Representatives and 76 Senators have already cosponsored the MMA along with industry consensus. It's SiriusXM vs all of us. We can either fight to the bitter end or celebrate this victory together. Rather than watch bad press and ill will pile up against SiriusXM, why not come out supporting the most consequential music legislation in 109 years? We do not want to fight and boycott your company but we will as we have other opponents. Stand with us! Be brave and take credit for being the heroes who helped the MMA become historic law! Momentum is building against SiriusXM and you still have an opportunity to come out on the right side of history. We look forward to your endorsement but the fire is burning and only you can put this out.

SiriusXM resoponded with a letter of their own:

Over the past several weeks, we have been the subject of some stinging attacks from the music community and artists regarding our views on the Music Modernization Act. Contrary to new reports and letters, this is really not about a SiriusXM victory, but implementing some simple, reasonable and straightforward amendments to MMA. There is nothing in our "asks" that gut the MMA or kills the Act. So let's talk about the substance of the amendments we propose, because we truly do not understand the objections or why these concepts have incited such a holy war.ontrary to the accusations, SiriusXM has proposed three simple amendments to the MMA.

First, SiriusXM has asked that the CLASSICS Act recognize that it has already licensed all of the pre-1972 works it uses. This amendment would ensure that artists – the people who are supposed to be at the heart of the MMA – receive 50% of the monies under those existing licenses. Is that unfair? Just today, Neil Diamond wrote in the LA Times that: "I receive a small amount of songwriting royalties, but no royalties as the recording artist." How can that happen? To date, SiriusXM has paid nearly $250 million dollars in pre-'72 royalties to the record labels. We want to make sure that a fair share of the monies we have paid, and will pay, under these licenses gets to performers. Without this provision, artists may never see any of the money SiriusXM paid, and will pay, for the use of pre-1972 works. Artists not getting paid hurts our business!

Second, Sirius XM thinks that the fair standard to use in rate setting proceedings is the standard that Congress chose in 1995 and confirmed again in 1998 – which is called the 801(b) standard. However, we are willing to move the "willing buyer/willing seller" standard contained in the MMA. In exchange, we have asked for the same concession that the MMA grants to other digital music services, but we were left out of — simply that the rates that were set last year for five years now apply for ten years. We thought this was a fair compromise when we read the "new" MMA that was released this weekend by the Senate, and are willing to live by that compromise.

Third, SiriusXM is asking the simple question: "Why are we changing the rate court evidence standard for musical compositions in this legislation so that it gives another advantage to broadcasters over satellite radio and streaming services?" There is no policy rationale for this change to tilt the playing field further in their favor, and frankly no one has been able to explain it to us. It is only fair that we debate why the change to Section 114(i) is in the MMA.

Did you all catch that? It sounds like lawyer speak for "we don't really want to say where we stand."

media.giphy.com

It seems all the letters were for naught. The Music Modernization Act passed in the U.S. Senate.




It was time to celebrate and dance in the streets.









As the saying goes, honest pay for honest work.

media.giphy.com


H/T: Variety, Spin

Some Residents Of Uranus, Missouri Are Not Happy About The Name Of Their New Local Newspaper 😆
CBS Philly/YouTube, @ShirtlessKirk/Twitter

There's nothing like a good pun about human anatomy. Really gets the juices flowing!


Owners of the new Uranus Examiner must have been snickering as they announced the paper's name. Apparently, it's caused quite the controversy in the small town of Uranus, Missouri, over the last few days.

Residents are divided over whether the pun is an embarrassment or perfectly snarky:


Folks on the internet responded with maturity and composure after learning about the Uranus Examiner.

Oh, wait. No they didn't.





If you think about it... there might actually be a method to the madness here. The brand new paper's name has received widespread media coverage over this past week. Simply put... everyone's talking about Uranus.

In terms of publicizing their new venture, the owners of the Uranus Examiner have actually done a pretty sweet job!


In the video above, a woman suggests the paper should have been called "The Pulaski County Examiner."

If you ask me, that's TOTALLY BORING, and wouldn't have generated as much interest and publicity for the paper. So while the name might be cringeworthy to some, you can bet Uranus that it'll stick around. Who knows, Uranus might even grow as a result!

H/T: Indy100, The Kansas City Star