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You know how the Make-A-Wish Foundation helps less fortunate children? The Make-A-Curse Foundation would exact revenge on your enemies. For a nominal fee, someone will curse an unfortunate soul of your choosing - and the hex lasts forever.
Imagine cursing someone with an itch that can't be scratched, or giving the terrifying gift of unlimited, universal empathy. Here's what Reddit had to offer
mrsam12000 asked, The Make-A-Curse Foundation grants evil services short of murder for terminally ill adults. What last act of revenge would you request for your enemy?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, or profanity.
Come on we're eating here.
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Someone asks them a question any time they take a bite or sip of something.
It's your job to carry out the curses.
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They have to work for the Make-A-Curse Foundation having to inflict all of this and ensure it all works.
I used to hear phantom bangs when I'd fall asleep.
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As soon as they fall asleep at night they will be startled awake by a loud scream from inside their home and only they will be able to hear it.
A paradox for the ages.
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Get the biggest boner in the most awkward and humiliating situations and only get a half boner when they actually want one.
Sounds like a typical day.
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All critical emails, mail and other indirect correspondence simply wouldn't reach their intended recipients. Mundane stuff would go through as usual though so rather than being able to identify the curse, the target would merely feel alone and ignored in the world.
So just... normal internet.
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Their internet connection will disconnect at random. Also when they are going to watch a video, their connection will be slowed so the video stops to buffer often.
I'm itchy just reading this.
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An itch down at the bone that moves through their body in varying intensities.
It can never be scratched properly and it can't be adjusted for. Just a constant itch ranging from inconvenience to straight up agony.
On Wednesday, Cece posted two videos, one of which is very disturbing, to her Facebook regarding an incident she experienced.
While Cece was using the bathroom at school, staff forced their way into the stall she was in.
Again, Cece is 16 years old.
Her post reads:
"SCHOOL OSSEO SEINOR HIGH 🚨
I Guess I Can't Use The Girls Bathroom Just Because I'm Transgender 😔 Share This & MAKE IT GO VIRAL ‼️ I Been Violating By Principal and Admin and Hallmonters
This Was Today 11/28/18 🕚 Ms Smith Had Nothing To Do With This"
One video showed all of the school officials she wanted to publicly name who participated in the incident.
The other showed the actual incident.
Cece's self-recorded video shows her sitting on the toilet with her pants down while a school official uses a makeshift device to reach over the stall to unlock the door.
A spokesperson for Osseo Schools stated:
"Social media posts are significantly misrepresenting the incident and that staff works very hard every day to help ensure an inclusive school where all students feel welcome, respected and safe."
They refused to comment further saying:
"We wish we could provide additional details about this incident but are committed to protecting the student's right to data privacy."
Some reports claim that Cece had previously been told not to use the women's restroom.
However, in 2017 the Minnesota Department of Education (MDOE) ruled in favor of students like Cece.
MDOE guidance states:
"Transgender and gender nonconforming students should be afforded the opportunity to use the restroom of their choice."
People also can not help but note the fact that at age 16, Cece is a minor.
Adults forcing themselves into her stall while she used the bathroom is even more appalling.
Moriah Skai Kiskaden (Facebook)
Ki Ki (Facebook)
Look, guys, when a kid is in the bathroom stall with their pants down, and you pry open the stall, exposing them to… https://t.co/rzMktZEkEB— Thomas Page (@Thomas Page) 1543690840
This should be sexual assault assault of a minor. Anyone involved should IMMEDIATELY be relieved from their positio… https://t.co/M5ByUSBvBP— CrystalshineMarie (@CrystalshineMarie) 1543626160
Regardless of the unknown circumstances, the internet is outraged over the adult school staff's actions.
1st thing I saw this AM & now I can’t stop thinking about it. Unless she was assaulting another student, there is… https://t.co/nkeudm8mAN— BadAssGrandma (@BadAssGrandma) 1543679009
Transphobic adults literally busted the bathroom door open on a trans high school student today in Minnesota bc the… https://t.co/rojArsFW9Q— mother sister (@mother sister) 1543465561
Look at the face of the woman who has unlocked the bathroom door!Arrogant assholes https://t.co/X98JSgHgMx— Teresa Culhane (@Teresa Culhane) 1543698568
Cece's video and story has indeed gone viral. But what happens now remains to be seen.
H/T: Pink News, Facebook, Daily Dot, Bring Me The News
@topherflorence captured highlights from the thread that received over three thousand retweets for its zaniness alone.
Can you follow?
the history of every brand on twitter somehow https://t.co/fWVXsElCvr— D🌑CFUTURE (@D🌑CFUTURE) 1540403954.0
The bread crumbs company endeavored to stir excitement for the brand by encouraging participation with the following tweet:
"Taking our first steps on the www!! tell us your favorite crouton recipes! #croutons #yum"
Harmless, right?
But somewhere along the way, the brand mixed business with politics. @religiousgames noticed that Carl's Croutons issued a one-word directive: vote.
The Twitter user asked, "What does it mean?"
@topherflorence What does it mean? https://t.co/IKifvva7ba— Vincent Gonzalez (@Vincent Gonzalez) 1540408943.0
Did the Carl's Croutons account manager get his social media account wires crossed? Possibly. But then we're not sure.
@topherflorence responded by saying, "lol that wasn't me i would posted something way dumber."
@religiousgames lol that wasn't me i woulda posted something way dumber— D🌑CFUTURE (@D🌑CFUTURE) 1540409220.0
The following tweet from Carl's Croutons attempted damage control:
"Carl's Crutons [sic] regrets the inappropriate tweet from earlier and we sincerely apologize to the people of The Republic of Malta."
So how did Carl's Croutons insult the Republic of Malta?
@topherflorence @oggborbis ...how did they insult Malta? I need to know.— astronaatti (@astronaatti) 1540405285.0
@Bestorb shed some light on why the Southern European island country may have been insulted by sharing a YouTube clip of episode 1008, "Final Justice," from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Did it have something to do with the country's dominant population of women?
@astronaatti @topherflorence @oggborbis https://t.co/9imm31y8cM— Nick Bestor (@Nick Bestor) 1540429565.0
The thread spun off in all different directions.
@topherflorence @xoxogossipgita laughing hardest at crouton recipes— super normal internet (@super normal internet) 1540492558.0
@topherflorence That last one is life 🙌🏽— Rich F. Santiago (@Rich F. Santiago) 1540418084.0
@topherflorence WOW this was a ride.— Jackal's Husband, Yuko (@Jackal's Husband, Yuko) 1540405005.0
@ItsBobberto @topherflorence @austin_walker Late stage social media.— Mr. Jackpots (@Mr. Jackpots) 1540435914.0
There were many takeaways from the esoteric thread, but the one directive really stood out.
@topherflorence @MaxKriegerVG Haha, you got me. But seriously, vote.— Benoit Doidic (@Benoit Doidic) 1540414697.0
@topherflorence @zoebread Clever girl. https://t.co/i5VB74s8F9— brott rambler but spooky (@brott rambler but spooky) 1540478919.0
@topherflorence @NoraReed This was a wild ride.— Queer Eye for the Animorphs Reboot (@Queer Eye for the Animorphs Reboot) 1540412903.0
@topherflorence @seangentille I’m experiencing a new level of cringe right now— Helle Hansen 🌸 (@Helle Hansen 🌸) 1540423182.0
@topherflorence @ZaaackKoootzer This is the greatest thing I've seen all day— your very own monica bellucci dream (@your very own monica bellucci dream) 1540406700.0
@topherflorence @spacetwinks Optimistic engagement. Regret. 'How do you do, fellow kids.' Unity through shared outr… https://t.co/6VGrLNPZVp— Ink-stained @ MFF 2018 (@Ink-stained @ MFF 2018) 1540405582.0
@topherflorence @spacetwinks 2 is where they decided to hire a social media manager. 3 is when they decided to hire a different one.— Ink-stained @ MFF 2018 (@Ink-stained @ MFF 2018) 1540412100.0
@LaserBlade @topherflorence yeah i actually think they're pretty good croutons but then again they pay me to say that— cool dog mowing lawn (@cool dog mowing lawn) 1540436982.0
@topherflorence @mattfx This is magically funny like Goofy doing an unannounced set in a small black room— M💎R (@M💎R) 1540482697.0
@topherflorence @ZaaackKoootzer This is the greatest thing I've seen all day— your very own monica bellucci dream (@your very own monica bellucci dream) 1540406700.0
There's still an unanswered question.
@topherflorence I need to know the Malta story tho— NeoSorosbot (@NeoSorosbot) 1540423045.0
So who is Carl's Croutons anyway? Nobody knows. Just vote.