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You know how the Make-A-Wish Foundation helps less fortunate children? The Make-A-Curse Foundation would exact revenge on your enemies. For a nominal fee, someone will curse an unfortunate soul of your choosing - and the hex lasts forever.
Imagine cursing someone with an itch that can't be scratched, or giving the terrifying gift of unlimited, universal empathy. Here's what Reddit had to offer
mrsam12000 asked, The Make-A-Curse Foundation grants evil services short of murder for terminally ill adults. What last act of revenge would you request for your enemy?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, or profanity.
Come on we're eating here.
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Someone asks them a question any time they take a bite or sip of something.
It's your job to carry out the curses.
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They have to work for the Make-A-Curse Foundation having to inflict all of this and ensure it all works.
I used to hear phantom bangs when I'd fall asleep.
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As soon as they fall asleep at night they will be startled awake by a loud scream from inside their home and only they will be able to hear it.
A paradox for the ages.
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Get the biggest boner in the most awkward and humiliating situations and only get a half boner when they actually want one.
Sounds like a typical day.
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All critical emails, mail and other indirect correspondence simply wouldn't reach their intended recipients. Mundane stuff would go through as usual though so rather than being able to identify the curse, the target would merely feel alone and ignored in the world.
So just... normal internet.
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Their internet connection will disconnect at random. Also when they are going to watch a video, their connection will be slowed so the video stops to buffer often.
I'm itchy just reading this.
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An itch down at the bone that moves through their body in varying intensities.
It can never be scratched properly and it can't be adjusted for. Just a constant itch ranging from inconvenience to straight up agony.
Facebook user Betsy Reyes busted her dog Princess who was out moonlighting as a stray in order to play on the sympathies of strangers. It seems Princess likes to wander off to her favorite hangout, the local McDonald's, and work the drive through lane like a pro.
And that's what she did right up until Reyes busted her scam. Reyes, who lives in Oklahoma City, took to Facebook and outed Princess in the most hysterical way, saying:
"If you see my dog @ the McDonald's on shields, quit feeding her fat ass bc she don't know how to act & be leaving the house all the time to go walking to McDonald's at night. She's not even a stray dog. She's just a gold diggin ass bitch that be acting like she's a stray so people will feel bad for her & feed her burgers."
Lots of scammers out there.
@CBSNews My lab Would jump the fence every morning as I got ready to work and when I went to leave he would reappeaโฆ https://t.co/NJhg4ZuGq1โ Anneik ๐ (@Anneik ๐) 1540434345.0
@CBSNews https://t.co/UqWvClKi8zโ Bruinlover- follower of Nakia (@Bruinlover- follower of Nakia) 1540418292.0
@CBSNews I TOOK MINE TO THE DRUGSTORE AND WHILE I WAS PAYING HE STOLE A CANDY BAR, WALKED RIGHT OUT THE DOOR WIโฆ https://t.co/U3DlWunzcKโ PUEBLO294 (@PUEBLO294) 1540415919.0
@LCaro294 @CBSNews Mine stole a butterdish at my mumโs house, ate all the butter then buried the butterdish to hide the evidence.โ Tricoteuse (@Tricoteuse) 1540418005.0
@CBSNews My dog would 100% do this if she could get out of the house. On our walks she stands in the doorways of foโฆ https://t.co/33ovz44HUXโ Skulls&Bacon (@Skulls&Bacon) 1540420511.0
@BillichThomas @skullsandbacon @CBSNews 100% would hand over my bagel, if only because she looks so annoyed with meโฆ https://t.co/aQs5qKhETNโ Claire Pettie (@Claire Pettie) 1540434235.0
It's an adorable story, but maybe get the dog a collar with identification?
@CBSNews Pretends? Leaves the collar stashed around the corner, or what?โ Jim Snell (@Jim Snell) 1540429214.0
@CBSNews This is adorable but this dog should 100% be wearing a collar and also get microchipped! Love this story :)โ Minka โACABโ Eisenhower (@Minka โACABโ Eisenhower) 1540418766.0
Not everyone thought the story was cute.
@CBSNews Great way to keep your dog safe. ๐โ ๐ง๐ปโโ๏ธ Free Hugs ๐ ๐บ๐ธ๐ณ๐ด๐ซ๐ฎโฎ๏ธโ๏ธ โ๐ฑ๐ท (@๐ง๐ปโโ๏ธ Free Hugs ๐ ๐บ๐ธ๐ณ๐ด๐ซ๐ฎโฎ๏ธโ๏ธ โ๐ฑ๐ท) 1540414161.0
@CBSNews Unless you can keep your dog safe at home and not out in traffic where she could be hit by a car, stolen,โฆ https://t.co/6BMPMLYgYsโ Lindsey McBride (@Lindsey McBride) 1540435397.0
Of course, when a girl's gotta eat, a girl's gotta eat.
@chabsmescudi Funny.... but time to build a super gate. https://t.co/NZBE1s3lm6โ OEL๐๐๐ (@OEL๐๐๐) 1540238320.0
@chabsmescudi The dog: https://t.co/FSmeFYhspTโ Angie (@Angie) 1540231585.0
@BetsysReyes @chabsmescudi Your dog every night after standing on the road https://t.co/mrTCMOtOVAโ N.A.S.A (@N.A.S.A) 1540235406.0
@chabsmescudi I would have been mad if my dog didnโt bring anything back. https://t.co/qb7ED7cwMGโ Name Change (@Name Change) 1540325221.0
Let's hope Princess has learned her lesson and stays home.
H/T: Huffington Post, Mashable
The MobiLimb was created by researchers in France and is made up of "five servo motors, an Arduino microcontroller and a sensor, and it can do a number of unsettling things that are straight out of nightmares," according to Engadget.
MobiLimb: Augmenting Mobile Devices with a Robotic Limb #UIST2018 @ACMUIST https://t.co/vm0fqHe2gaโ HCI Research (@HCI Research) 1538308062.0
Marc Teyssier, a PhD student and one of the researchers behind the project for the dismembered limb, legitimized its existence.
"In the spirit of human augmentation, which aims at overcoming human body limitations by using robotic devices, our approach aims at overcoming mobile device limitations (static, passive, motionless) by using a robotic limb."
@HacksterPro @marcteyssier This is terrible.โ Jason TheVirtualFAE (@Jason TheVirtualFAE) 1538435690.0
Th MobiLimb can prop itself up so you can watch a video, or provide an alternate way to grip your device.
But there's one function that is really disturbing.
The articulated digit can be skinned to resemble a human finger, and it can stroke your wrist while you're using your phone.
Someone implied that single people could benefit from this invention as a companion.
@Gingerheaddad Keep in mind that many people are alone, so any physical contact... #Yuck #Creepy #WhatTheHellโ Ephraim Gopin (@Ephraim Gopin) 1538743523.0
"Reach out and touch someone": MobiLimb is awesome. https://t.co/HPq6FsefJv https://t.co/Dq7h7sSSCRโ Bryan Alexander (@Bryan Alexander) 1538839006.0
What would the next-generation MobiLimb offer consumers?
@EphraimGopin I was hoping it would go full face-hugging alien. I better wait for the upgraded MobiLimb.โ Jim Martin (@Jim Martin) 1538744153.0
@HCI_Research @ACMUIST https://t.co/qsY5O1Y0Udโ Henri Fischer (@Henri Fischer) 1538322698.0
@arduino https://t.co/h90xJNrwvHโ Femtoduino (@Femtoduino) 1538511034.0
The attachment could come in handy should an unfortunate life-changing incident were to occur.
@HCI_Research @ACMUIST I want this! Not for the reason in some of the tweets below but you never know. I could useโฆ https://t.co/C5inclfv8tโ Kristina (Kricket) Hodgdon (@Kristina (Kricket) Hodgdon) 1538330323.0
But the gadget is still giving people goosebumps.
@HacksterPro @marcteyssier That is creepy. =)โ GritsnGravy (@GritsnGravy) 1538412080.0
@MailOnline @JonathanHoenig That is terrifying.โ W. Clayton (@W. Clayton) 1538811801.0
Others saw a more erotic potential.
@HacksterPro @marcteyssier Lol, the adult videos Industry is interestedโ Dario Glz (@Dario Glz) 1538690202.0
@HacksterPro @marcteyssier "why does your phone have a penis?"โ Nolimb chan (@Nolimb chan) 1538413674.0
@theprojecttv Or, if your date searching goes awry, it could stroke whatever you want!โ Matthew Barker๐ณ๏ธโ๐ (@Matthew Barker๐ณ๏ธโ๐) 1538717283.0
@MailOnline https://t.co/2SRRzsM72Iโ Matt โข ๐ (@Matt โข ๐) 1538811840.0
Now here's a function not advertised by MobiLimb's creators.
@EphraimGopin The MobiLimb is a terrible name. It should be named after its most important function: Bird Flipper.โ Jim Martin (@Jim Martin) 1538743026.0
@Gingerheaddad Now THAT'S putting it to good use! Flip people off without taking your eyes off the screen. Perfect.โ Ephraim Gopin (@Ephraim Gopin) 1538743134.0
Feelings are mixed. But the jury is in.
To be honest I don't like MobiLimb. But the point really is, I could be wrong.โ Dr. Kenneth Huang (@Dr. Kenneth Huang) 1538801646.0
As to why such a creepy gadget was invented, we can't quite put our finger on it. But then, when it comes to consumers' needs, these guys may be out of touch.