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Clever People Imagine How A Make-A-Curse Foundation Would Get Revenge On Their Enemies

You know how the Make-A-Wish Foundation helps less fortunate children? The Make-A-Curse Foundation would exact revenge on your enemies. For a nominal fee, someone will curse an unfortunate soul of your choosing - and the hex lasts forever.


Imagine cursing someone with an itch that can't be scratched, or giving the terrifying gift of unlimited, universal empathy. Here's what Reddit had to offer

mrsam12000 asked, The Make-A-Curse Foundation grants evil services short of murder for terminally ill adults. What last act of revenge would you request for your enemy?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, or profanity.

This is the worst.

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Whenever they sleep, they dream of being at work.

BonerKill64

This is dark.

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Unfiltered empathy for everyone and everything.

guard_press

Come on we're eating here.

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Someone asks them a question any time they take a bite or sip of something.

aedroogo

It's your job to carry out the curses.

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They have to work for the Make-A-Curse Foundation having to inflict all of this and ensure it all works.

Hammelj

And life loses all meaning.

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Their pasta sauce will never cling to their spaghetti.

theconfuserx2

I used to hear phantom bangs when I'd fall asleep.

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As soon as they fall asleep at night they will be startled awake by a loud scream from inside their home and only they will be able to hear it.

phatblackdude

A paradox for the ages.

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Get the biggest boner in the most awkward and humiliating situations and only get a half boner when they actually want one.

tobiderfisch

Sounds like a typical day.

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All critical emails, mail and other indirect correspondence simply wouldn't reach their intended recipients. Mundane stuff would go through as usual though so rather than being able to identify the curse, the target would merely feel alone and ignored in the world.

snave_

So just... normal internet.

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Their internet connection will disconnect at random. Also when they are going to watch a video, their connection will be slowed so the video stops to buffer often.

PM-ME_SMALL-BOOBS

I'm itchy just reading this.

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An itch down at the bone that moves through their body in varying intensities.

It can never be scratched properly and it can't be adjusted for. Just a constant itch ranging from inconvenience to straight up agony.

LilithTheSly

'Captain Marvel' May Have Just Introduced A New Black Female Superhero Right Under Our Noses
Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Disney

Warning: Minor spoilers ahead.

Nothing is a coincidence in the complex Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Now that Marvel Studios and Disney finally gave a female superhero her own movie, we realize Captain Marvel may have introduced a young character who takes on a more significant role in the future of the MCU.

The '90s-set origin story is led by the dual personalities of Carol Danvers — a U.S. Air Force pilot; and Vers, a Kree from the planet Hala in another life — and becomes Captain Marvel, expertly played by Brie Larson.

Without sounding too cryptic, Captain Marvel is the sum of Carol and Vers, and the complex narrative revolves around Vers finding out about her past.

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Donald Trump thanked the first responders who came to the aid of victims of Hurricane Florence. The storm devastated portions of North Carolina, dumping massive amounts of rain and damaging millions of dollars in property. Many natural areas were destroyed, some farmers lost everything and more than a few people have been left homeless. The first responders after this massive storm were literal life savers, and Trump was absolutely right to thank them. Unfortunately, the sentiment of his message was lost for many people because he didn't seem to put any effort or preparation into what he was saying. Then, in the middle of his off-the-cuff message, he confused everyone by talking about the wetness of water.

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Macaulay Culkin Is Having Fans Vote On What He Should Legally Change His Name To—And The Options Are Bizarre 😮
Andrew Lipovsky/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images

Have you ever wanted to help your favorite celebrity reach their potential by giving them a new name? Fans of Macaulay Culkin will be able to do just that, as he's allowing them to vote and pick his new middle name.

The choices are beyond strange.

In a segment on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Culkin announced his desire to change his middle name to something else. He allowed people to submit names for the last month, and narrowed those down to the top five.

Some of the suggestions were interesting, to say the least.





The official choices: Shark Week, The McRib Is Back, Kieran (submitted by his famous younger brother), Macaulay Culkin, and Publicity Stunt. That last one was suggested by Culkin's girlfriend, actress Brenda Song, and gives away the game.

Fans are still excited to vote for his new name.







This is all a publicity stunt to drive traffic to Culkin's website, Bunny Ears, launched earlier this year in March. The site bills itself as a lifestyle and holistic health brand, similar to Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop. However, the articles are jokes or satirical.

Good luck finding the site if you tried to go there right after the Fallon segment.

With articles like "A Tour Guide Of The Places Where Men Have Dumped Me" in their 'Travel Guides' section, or "Meditative Things White People Can Do While Black People Attempt To Explain White Privilege" under 'Spiritual Wellness,' it's difficult to imagine the site is wanting for traffic.

Time will tell what Culkin's new middle name will be, but as of this writing, it's looking like he'll be known as Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin. Which is a shame, because Macaulay Shark Week Culkin had such a nice ring to it.

H/T: Huffington Post, Bunny Ears