People Who Made Marriage Pacts When They Were Young Reveal How It Ended
Love, marriage, and family are a goal for many people. But what if the right person doesn't come along? That's where a marriage pact with a friend comes in.
Reddit user garikay asked "Has anyone ever gone through with a marriage pact? You know, like a 'if we're not married by 30 we'll marry each other'? How did it work out?"
People shared their experiences with some happily ever afters and some not so happy stories too.
Only One Who Put Up with Me
[rebelmouse-image 18358067 is_animated_gif=Me and my best friend since 6th grade had a running joke that once we were single we should give it a go because chances are we would end up getting married since she's the only person who puts up with me and visa versa.
We got married last month after 5 years of dating.
All's Well that Ends Well
[rebelmouse-image 18352338 is_animated_gif=My wife and I dated during that awkward summer between high school and college and then she went her way and I went mine; we sort of joked about such a thing -- didn't really say, but a "wouldn't it be funny if? yeah, you know, that would work." I think I saw her for lunch like one time when we were 20ish. Anyway, ran into her again at a friend's party when I was 28 and we hit it off. She'd just gotten divorced from a two year marriage and I was just back from law school. It was nice as we both knew the other wasn't a psychopath -- more or less got on with one another's families. Had many of the same friends.
Anyway, here we are almost 20 years on from running into one another again -- married 16 years, couple of kids, life in the suburbs. All's good.
What's Meant to Be
[rebelmouse-image 18358068 is_animated_gif=Made one about 10 years ago with a very close friend (never dated, hooked up or anything like that, we just agreed this would make sense in the long run if we don't find our soulmates on the way to his 30th - he's a couple years younger than me). I'm now 30 and 6 1/2 months pregnant with the love of my life (not the guy I made the deal with). About two months ago, I met him and his girlfriend at the obgyn waiting room - I came for a regular pregnancy check and they came for the pregnancy confirmation. We laughed because we didn't share the news with each other yet and we never spoke about the pact with our partners. Now we're both waiting our firstborns with different people and sharing pregnancy joy and stuff. Turned out better than we could ever imagine.
WoW
[rebelmouse-image 18358069 is_animated_gif=Somewhat. I met my current girlfriend on World of Warcraft 11 years ago. I lived in Maryland and she lived in Missouri. I told her one day a long time ago "I'm going to marry you one day." Years went by with on and off talking. I didn't speak to her for the entire year of 2015. I messaged her last February and soon after, I was living here by July 1st 2016. Tonight during our get together we are having, I'm getting on my knee and asking her to marry me.
A For Effort
[rebelmouse-image 18358071 is_animated_gif=Sort of. Had a real close friend in high school that was a social butterfly and, for whatever reason, liked to hang out with awkward nerds like me. One day she suggested a marriage pact if we were both still single at 35, and I agreed with a laugh because, hey, I didn't expect her to remember me among all her other friends and there was no way she'd still be single by then.
After graduation her family moved clear to the other side of the country and I figured I'd just be another Facebook friend. But we stayed in touch and actually started talking more--I'm talking constant Skype webcam and phone calls way too late into the night. Turns out I was one of the few people that actually bothered to put anything into a continuing relationship, and about a year after graduation she confessed that she had fallen in love with me.
That was seven years ago. We're getting married in 29 days.
Check Back Later
[rebelmouse-image 18358073 is_animated_gif=One of my friends proposed a marriage pact sometime last year. I'll let you know in like 9 years!
Not That Into You
[rebelmouse-image 18358074 is_animated_gif=I had one of these with a friend, I'm now 33 and he's 35 neither of us are married still but I just don't want to marry him after all, and he doesn't really seem to want to marry me either. We were 17 and 19 when we made the pact.
Marry You Someday
[rebelmouse-image 18358075 is_animated_gif=I joined my high school graduating class in grade 11. It was a rural school and most people there had been classmates their whole lives. Come graduation and people were assigned partners for the graduation parade. I was assigned to a beautiful young lady who had a boyfriend a grade below us, while I had a girlfriend a grade below us. Some guys were ribbing me about my assigned grad "date" when another guy who was usually quiet spoke up and boldly stated, "I'm going to marry her." Everyone kind of just chuckled and we all headed to our next class. I was very impressed when I reconnected with my old classmates on Facebook years ago and saw that he did indeed marry her and they have grandchildren.
Party of One
[rebelmouse-image 18358076 is_animated_gif=I made a pact with a couple girls but forgot to tell them about it, so I'm single.
Unconvential
[rebelmouse-image 18358078 is_animated_gif=Some good friends of mine are both gay and lesbian (a gay man and a lesbian woman) - they decided if they didn't get in serious relationships they'd marry.
They have two wonderful kids together an they are amazing people.
They are still looking for their ideal same-sex partner, but it's very clear that they love each other and care much for their kids.
Mommy's Baby
[rebelmouse-image 18358081 is_animated_gif=Yes, my cousin did, and it was heartbreaking. She is 6 years older than I am, (so 35 when this happened,) and apparently the guy she made the pact with was a Momma's Boy cranked up to 11. Made a marriage pact with someone she knew, watched her cousins and friends all get married and/or have babies back to back in the space of a couple of years, so they enacted their pact. Proposed Christmas Day, married on Valentine's, fast tracked a pregnancy.
In the first trimester things go south, Momma's Boy involves his mother in their marital squabbles who convinces him to leave his brand new pregnant wife. Wife gives the ultimatum: show up for the birth or stay gone. Guess who is back living with her parents with a new baby and a divorce in the works?
Better Than the Alternatives
[rebelmouse-image 18358082 is_animated_gif=Kinda. My husband and I were best friends in 8th grade and were those kids that kinda hated everyone else at our school. We always said we were going to get married when we got older "because everyone else sucks" but never dated in high school because we just went down different paths, but stayed good friends. Started talking more again after high school, started dating, and are now very happily married.
Bullet Dodged
[rebelmouse-image 18358083 is_animated_gif=I made a marriage pact with my very good friend in 10th grade - around 1988 or so - that we'd get married at 27 if we were both still single. We had every class together for three years straight, got along famously, and were just greatly compatible. She went overseas for college and I joined the military, and she just stopped responding to letters after around 9 months.
1992, I get engaged, and suddenly run into her in a mall. I introduce my future wife, and my old friend loses her f'ing mind. Right in front of my future bride and all, middle of the shopping center, screaming at me about how I betrayed our agreement, I belonged with her, yadda yadda yadda. Calm as can be, my wife asks her why she stopped writing me then?
Like a lightswitch flipping, old friend starts bawling her eyes out, and plops down on the floor. We hurried the f' out of there, and I never saw her again.
Different Kind of Pact
[rebelmouse-image 18358084 is_animated_gif=My best friend and I made a pact when we were 18 that "If we're both still single when we're 30, let's just kill each other."
Am 29.
I'm a little older than her.
Am scared.
Not That Rural
[rebelmouse-image 18358085 is_animated_gif=At 18, my best friend and I jokingly made a marriage pact for when we'd turn 40. By 20 I told him we were too much like siblings and we'd never date. I love him like a brother and a romantic relationship.
Together by 27
[rebelmouse-image 18358086 is_animated_gif=I made one with my wife when we were kids, like 14-15. We lost touch because we went to different schools, had fairly different walks of life, etc. then randomly started talking on Facebook about 10 years later and ultimately got married about 3 years before the pact would've gone into effect
D-bag
[rebelmouse-image 18358087 is_animated_gif=In high school my friend and I kinda had a crush on each other but nothing ever happened because he had a girlfriend. We promised that we would get married if we were both single by the time we were 40. We lost touch after we finished school and I ran into him a couple of years ago, added him on Facebook.
It turned out he became the biggest d-bag on my FB friends list and I'd probably rather die in a fire than hang out with him again.
Ultima Online
[rebelmouse-image 18358088 is_animated_gif=Sorta, kinda. My husband and I met on ultima online...just 2 kids playing video games but swapped email addresses, AOL instant messenger, then Facebook in college. He always said we'd end up together one day and I was just kinda like yeah yeah. I flew from SC to PA to visit him after graduating college and we started dating, got engaged and married all within a year and a half. We never actually thought there would be a scenario in life where we'd meet face to face let alone end up together. We've been married 7 yrs this coming weekend.
D-I-V-O-R-C-E
[rebelmouse-image 18358090 is_animated_gif=I made this pact with my best male friend in high school. When we were about 20, he told me that even if he got married before 30 and i still wasnt married, he would divorce her for me, which i found to be an odd statement. We went our separate ways and I didn't hear back from him until I turned 31.
By this time, he was married and I was not. We spent the day together and he asks me, "Remember our marriage pact?" He wanted to divorce his wife for me. I declined.
Chicago
[rebelmouse-image 18358091 is_animated_gif=Anyone remember Google Mystery Missions years ago?
If not, Mystery Missions was a site where you put in a request and other people had to fulfill that request. Each time you reloaded the page you'd get new ones to look through. I stumbled across hers looking for someone to talk to, this was about a decade ago we were both 14.
She was from Memphis, I from Chicago. We instantly became best friends. For years we talked every single day. Around 17/18 we made a marriage pact saying by 30 we'd marry if we were still single. At this point we knew we both had strong feelings for each other but the thought of being in the same place didn't seem possible at the time.
Since the pact, we lost touch here and there. It felt like a big piece of me was missing whenever that happened. We both had relationships that didn't work out. About two years ago we started talking about being in a relationship and just being together. I met her for the first time about 18 months ago. We're engaged, and she found a new job in Chicago.
Woman Was Fired For Refusing To Wear A Bra At Work—And Now She's Suing
Christina Schell, from Alberta, Canada, stopped wearing bras three years ago citing health reasons.
While Schell did not specify the health reasons, she did state she finds them to be "horrible."
But after her refusal to sign or adhere to a new enforced dress code policy to wear a bra or tank top under her work shirt at a golf course grill where she worked, Schell was promptly fired.
Now, the 25-year-old has filed a human rights violation against the Osoyoos Golf Club, Osoyoos, in British Columbia, Canada.
Schell said:
"I don't think any other human being should be able to dictate another person's undergarments."
When she asked the general manager, Doug Robb, why she had to comply, the manager told her the mandate was for her protection.
Robb allegedly said:
"I know what happens in golf clubs when alcohol's involved."
After losing her job, she brought the case to the British Columbia Human Rights Tribunal and told them the club's dress code was discriminatory because the rule didn't apply towards male employees.
Schell told CBC:
"It's gender-based and that's why it's a human rights issue. I have nipples and so do the men."
David Brown, an employment lawyer in Kelowna, BC, said gender-specific dress codes could be viewed as discriminatory under the BC Human Rights Code.
He stated:
"It's an interesting question as to whether or not an employer can dictate the underwear that women can wear, but they don't say anything about the underwear that men can wear, and does that create an adverse impact on the individual?"
Brown added:
"If this policy is found to be discrimination, the next question is does the employer have a bonafide occupational requirement to essentially impose this on the individual?"
"I'm kind of scratching my head as to what that occupational requirement would be."
@GlobalBC The policy is sexist the peopl supporting it are sexist. Hope she wins her complaint— Lori bell (@Lori bell) 1529692660.0
@Shelby_Thom @WoodfordCHNL @GlobalOkanagan @GlobalBC Then men should have to wear either a tank top or undershirt— caffene fiend (@caffene fiend) 1529624161.0
@SoldByBrock @Shelby_Thom @GlobalOkanagan @GlobalBC What does common courtesy have to do with wearing a bra? Breast… https://t.co/ZVI2xDdpgf— M Shumway (@M Shumway) 1529843759.0
As for the tank top option, due to working under oftentimes extreme heat serving tables outsides, Schell did not want to wear another layer of clothes just because of her gender.
Schell said:
"It was absurd. Why do you get to dictate what's underneath my clothes?"
Employment lawyer Nadia Zaman told CBC that the club can enforce a gender-specific policy as they deem necessary as long as the establishment can prove it is for the occupational safety of its workers.
But the attorney questioned if forcing female employees to wear a bra was applicable in this case.
Zaman stated:
"If they simply require that female employees wear a bra but then they don't have a similar requirement for males, and they can't really justify that … then there is a risk that their policy's going to be deemed to be discriminatory."
Under British Columbia's discrimination law, it is illegal for employers:
'to discriminate against any individual because of his race, color, religion, sex, or national origin'.
@GlobalBC @globalnews Logistically bras or the absence of does not impact health or work performance. That is my v… https://t.co/65cLHBMowf— Louisette Lanteigne (@Louisette Lanteigne) 1529769211.0
McDonald's employee Kate Gosek, 19, agrees with Schell in that the dress code is "unnecessary." She too was harassed by her employers at a McDonald's in Selkirk, Manitoba, over refusing to wear a bra.
"She just told me that I should put on a bra because, McDonald's—we are a polite restaurant and no one needs to see that."
Schell's case sparked plenty of debates on Twitter.
@DunnMan77 @GlobalBC It's just discriminatory, woman shouldn't have to wear bras if they don't want to. As well as… https://t.co/RXhRVWUuNy— Mary Johnson (@Mary Johnson) 1529685276.0
@DunnMan77 @GlobalBC Men do not have to wear underpants if they don't want to. As of right now there are no laws to… https://t.co/l8FuPVybWo— Mary Johnson (@Mary Johnson) 1529686418.0
@GlobalBC Women have the right not to be forced to wear a bra Shaving & makeup also is a choice. If you want to do… https://t.co/Ybkj6PLDnD— Lozan (@Lozan) 1529686156.0
@Lozan72 @GlobalBC I would completely understand her and your argument if we were talking about a potential law to… https://t.co/trRyNAubn4— Chris George (@Chris George) 1529690293.0
@GlobalBC This story frustrates me. There's no dress code equivalent for men? Well if I saw the outline of a male s… https://t.co/5YbAvXKRcO— Molly Max (@Molly Max) 1529705327.0
Schell is not alone in her disdain for bras.
@GlobalBC I personally HATE wearing a #bra absolutely hate it with passion and unashamed to admit it. I HATE BEING… https://t.co/GEi3LtxIDa— Lozan (@Lozan) 1529686305.0
Schell is still waiting to hear from the Human Rights Commission about her claim.
H/T - GettyImages, Twitter, Indy100, CBC